im your lover, im your zero

Vampire Hunter D, 1985

Vampire Hunter D, 1985

bragged about his gaydar

ranked everyone from his classmates to his professor based on how gay he thought they were

spent an entire page analyzing, unprompted, all the reasons henry might be gay

only ever described his straight crush™ as "boyish" and looking "just like her (very handsome) brother"

made out with francis

hated his hometown

chose hypothermia over going back to his hometown over the holidays

felt "an unexpected thrill at the coldness of [henry's] voice"

1 cigarette is not that bad for me

I can write a perfectly good Greek essay in the last 15 minutes before class

Henry isn't mad at me

Hitting on the new guy in Latin will get me laid

Orgies in the woods are safe

Charles is not mad at me

25 cigarettes are not that bad for me

I locked the door of the country house

Bunny is a philistine

The Red Sox will win the Series

It will not snow

They will find the body

I will not be arrested

I am not terminally ill

Richard is not mad at me

I did not just see a ghost

I can have 1 more drink and still drive

I am a refined scholar

Grandpa will never figure out I date men

2 packs a day are not that bad for me

society: ok