AstroGradingFails

(via GIPHY)

TMI 

Pickpocketing and Jailbreaks for kids

Page 1.  Waning crescent is too high to not have the Sun up too.  waning crescent also means it’s near sunrise so “Good Morning, Gorilla.”

On every page you can find some hint of this moon, the balloon getting smaller and smaller, and of course Gorilla.  

Hey, why is this “guard” tip toeing around?  Are we sure he works here?  

He’s tip toeing but can’t hear keys jangling, gates opening, and 5 large mammals behind him? 

Still that waning crescent.  Awww baby picture of the animals.  He can hear, he just pretends not to.

How did the gorilla pick the pocket of pajamas?  None of my jammies have pockets :(

For such a milestone post, here is one chock-a-block with the moon

The first page establishes that it is 7:00 and bedtime.  

Here is the first page w/ the moon:

The clock goes forward while the full moon rises higher over the 70 min it takes the kid to fall asleep.  

This is OK.  Solid effort to get it right.  There is, however, room for improvement once we break out the rulers and protractors...

https://burritojustice.com/2014/03/07/goodnight-clock/

Scroll to the IMPORTANT ASTRONOMICAL UPDATE.  

Another short critique

It’s frequently a bad sign that there is no author.  

First Page - Sunset (better established on the next page’s Oh my it’s getting late).

Another “classic” that I never heard of until I had a kid.  

We can recite this by memory.

SUNSET and then...

Full Moon Rises!  Yes!  Anthropomorphic letters be damned, this is reality!

posted out of order, but oh well.

dawwwww... sleepy time for baby animals

Half of this book has a moon on it.  I will now show them in order.

waning crescent (early morning)

waxing crescent (early evening)

waning

waning

no moon, THIS IS AN OPTION PEOPLE!

waning

waning and ENHANSE!

Goddamn this author.  

Submitted by a fellow professor.  

OK.  Time established.  

Hold up.  Waxing crescent near the horizon after sunset - OK.  The  illuminated part is closer to the horizon, good, that’s where the Sun is so this SHOULD be the moon SETTING in the west.  

The only way this shape is rising after the Sun has set is if we are in the southern hemisphere and it is close to Sunrise and we are looking east.  

What is happening on this boat?  What weird cult is making its crew of children work out in the middle of the night and telling them it’s hours earlier to confuse and further control them?  I have concerns.

YOU CAN”T HAVE A CRESCENT HIGH IN THE SKY AND HAVE THE SKY DARK!  The crescent is closer in the sky to the Sun so either the Sun has disappeared and this is the beginning of the end for all life on Earth or... this author is poorly educated.  To Wikipedia!

...So author went to Yale and majored in English then went to UC Berkeley for theater.  What the actual fuck?  

As a continuation of pt 4, I bring you...

This time it’s personal purple... again.  

Harold is dreaming as it is about 4 am.  

Damn that kid can get a lot done in no time.  Seriously, time does not pass for this kid.

I don’t own the original so we start with...

No ambiguity on the hemisphere this time!

What’s this?!?  NOT A CRESCENT?  But how will I understand it is night?  This is 3rd quarter.  Rises around midnight, sets at noon.  Harold is adventuring close to Sunrise on Christmas Eve.  The right page is wrong.  The poster stars in Ursa Major do point to the north celestial pole and the North Star so he can use it to guide him.  However, Ursa Major is in this location on 12/24 at about 1 pm.  As in the afternoon.  it is also in the Northeast.  The moon would be a bit East of South.  

At the North Pole the moon would be much lower in the sky, grazing the horizon really, as the north celestial pole is at the zenith (directly above). Wait, it’s close to sunrise and Santa hasn’t found a way to get out of his damn house?  Is snow a new occurrence at the North Pole?  Goddamnit Santa, get your shit together!  You can’t rely on a toddler to stumble onto you every year.

That is a fine tree Harold.  Expert opinion: more astronomy trees needed.

And now a classic...

What a dog party!

Another waxing crescent - tilt, night, this is just after sunset.  Or if in the Southern Hemisphere, it’s just before sunrise.  I does not really matter because night and sleeping is possible.  NEXT PAGE!

Now it is 22 hours later to have the Sun coming through he same window!  What a bunch of lazy-ass dogs.

Most of these are going to be about the moon...

My kid is doing her part to make a more realistic shape for the moon.  

This is a waning crescent.  They rise after midnight to just before the Sun.  I suppose this could be in the Southern Hemisphere where this shape would be in this position just after sunset.  Wikipedia tells me that the author is from and currently lives in the US though.