Queer Autistic Author

Me, a writer who’s been daydreaming about three characters, two unwritten chapters, some scraps of dialogue, and a partial plot that still needs to be heated up in the microwave before it’s usable:

Ｊさんは野良時代から、ハコの中におもちゃを持ち込んで遊んでいることがあります。

Mr. J sometimes plays with his toys in his box.

みっちりむっちりもかわいいのですが、巣に獲物を持ち込んでいたぶっている…と思うと、いろいろ思うところもあったりします。

It's very cute that his chubby body filling up the box, and I also feel it's deeply emotive to imagine he may torment his preys in his nest.

じゃましようとすると、この時ばかりは不機嫌です。

If I bother him during this pleasure time, he is very crabby...

やんわり噛まれます。

ただし、ツメは立てない程度です。

今日は…

He bites me, but he never use his claws to me!

BTW, today ...

こんなに持ち込んでました😑

毛も抜け始めてますし、お掃除しないと、です。

He takes such a lot!

I’ve seen plenty of posts about it being important for allistics to not infantilise autistic people, and I agree.

But you know what I haven’t seen addressed and really want to make clear?

Allistics are not allowed to judge which behaviours are infantilising when it comes to autistic people receiving support.

What neurotypicals might perceive as “infantilising” to them, might just be what allows an autistic person to function. I have had this happened to me a few times, but the most notable occasion was about a month ago.

I was not functioning well with living alone and had fallen behind on many important phone calls, was not eating regularly, and was overall in a very bad mental state.

For the first time, I actually opened up to my mother about how much I struggle with these things, and it was a very big moment for me. She was not the most accepting when I was first diagnosed with ASD, but she has come far since then (still some way to go though).

She was facetiming me one day and was helping me write a list of things I had to do and was laying things out in minute detail.

‘Have you eaten today?’ ‘No.’ ‘Okay, you need to go to the fridge, then get some food, make a sandwich and sit down to eat it.’ I wrote all of this down on my whiteboard. ‘Then you need to set an alarm on your phone for 1pm everyday-’ she waited for me to open the app ‘-then you need to label it “eat lunch”.’

And this was the most support I had ever received in my life for my autism and I was so happy, literally thrilled. Happy flapping galore. Suddenly things made more sense, I felt more hopeful that with this kind of support I would be able to function a bit better.

But my younger sister (who really is wonderful, I don’t want this one experience to make her out to be horrible, she really is amazing) was in the room with my mum and she said:

‘Ma, don’t baby him, it’s offensive.’

And I cannot tell you how heavy my heart felt in that moment.

Something which, for me, was exactly what I needed to feel functional and to feel like an adult for once, was seen as babying by someone else, someone very important to me.

And I shakily explained over the phone that actually this was exactly what I needed, thank you for having my back but I don’t find this offensive I find it helpful. She apologised and she sounded mortified by her mistake, I felt bad for her honestly.

But since then I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask my mum for this kind of help again because it was seen as infantilising.

I try not to let people’s opinions get to me but, as I’m sure most people can agree, that’s fucking difficult. Especially when you’ve constantly been judged, mocked, and discredited by neurotypicals your whole life.

So yeah, don’t infantilise autistic people. Don’t call them an uwu precious littol bean. Don’t shrug off their ideas and emotions as unimportant. Definitely don’t feel sympathy for us for being autistic.

But if you see an autistic person being helped by someone they are close to such as a friend, family member, or carer, don’t call it out as being “infantilising”. Because in a lot of cases it’s not. It’s helping. You have no authority in labelling our support.

Neurotypicals please reblog but don’t add anything

It's known and renowned as one of the paintings in whole art history that expresses better hatred, because of his eyes.

But I don't see hatred in his eyes. I see wrath and pain: he's hurt, he's the one who feels betrayed.

And until this very moment, I've never read, seen of heard any argument that convinces me the Devil was the evil one. What exactly did he do? I read somewhere something like "I rather live standing in Hell than kneeling in Heaven" and everybody has told that it's wrong but I don't really get why. I get this Angel was proud and quite visceral but is that enough to become the devil?

He spoke his own mind which, yeah, wasn't exactly the same as God's and then he got kick out of heaven? Like Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit against God's wishes?

So when anyone disobey this greatest and kind and loveful force all it does is punishing? I really can't see how no one else realizes that's tyranny and dictatorship by definition.

I get why pagans worshipped their gods: you had thousands of gods and goddesses and you were free to choose which one you liked best and follow his of her path, therefore, choosing what kind of life you wanted to live.