Wish I Could Prove I Love You

So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?

They missed. 😔

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

[shaking your hand] hey you ever hear about the scorpion and the frog [not letting go] exciting friends and a good adventure

mutuals with klobuchar but you won’t follow the bald man back

My URL is more complete than yours

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

anyone have that picture with the 100 pool toy baltos. Its like a modern terracotta army

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence

Ötzi the icemans' murderer could still be out there. We just don't know.