I really hate myself. I’m such a messed up person. I’m not normal. I’ll never be normal. I’m so unhappy. I’m bulimic and fat. I was never normal and all I want is to be normal. Why can’t I be normal. I just lay here crying most days feeling regretful over choices I’ve made in life and yet incredibly angry over things that have happened to me in my life which lead to me making such decisions.
I’m stupid. I’m so incredibly stupid. I can’t do anything right. I’m not good enough at anything. I don’t deserve anything. I really hate myself. 200mg of Zoloft for almost 10 years now for what? I still just want to give up every day. Nothing I do is ever good enough and at the same time I’m too much. I hate myself.
I often think maybe it would be nice to commit myself but then I think how would that affect my job? But then again why do I care? But then again without being a workaholic what do I have? But then again I hate being a workaholic. But I am one. And I hate it. But what else do I have. I’m deathly afraid of having nothing yet all I want is nothing.
I always think I need to become more sick and hurt so I don’t need to do anything anymore. How embarrassing and pitiful. I want to be sick enough where I can’t work and I need to be taken care of. What type of life is that. Disgusting. I hate myself.
What causes these thoughts? My own disgusting self.
origamiaround
annaxmalina
vaporwave
kianamaiart
discoholicmusic
andulkaphoto
janainaart
romaincrisis
