The Ghost Who Reappears - But Not How You Think (UPDATE)
This is an update to the previous Dash story, The Ghost Who’s Always In A Rush. If you haven’t read that story yet, I encourage you to go back and get the tea before partaking in this cup. Don’t worry, I’ll keep the teapot hot for when you come back!
Hey lovers! Buckle up because boy, do I have an update for you!
Remember Dash? The guy who was always in a rush? The guy who was potentially (read: for sure) ghosting me? Well, turns out Dash was in a rush to do a lot of things, but speaking to me again was not one of them. I know... Ghosting happens! It’s 2021 and I’m not an idiot nor am I living under a rock. The problem with ghosting is that it puts a coma or an ellipsis at the end of a sentence instead of a period.
Let me refresh your memories lovers! Dash and I’s last date was to see the new Purge movie, The Forever Purge. (For those of you that are curious, the movie was okay. I think it will be the last Purge movie, but you never know.) Anyway, back to Dash! The movie was a good date as far as I could tell. We talked a little bit before and after the movie, we laughed 🤣, he held my hand 👫🏾 for the entire movie, and he even kissed 😚 me afterwards. It was a good date, no red flags, no weird energy – a good date. (Like with the other dates, my only qualm is that I wished it lasted a little longer. That’s it! Actually... no, that’s a lie – I also wish we ate 🤤, but I digress.) The date was good enough according to Dash too though. During my call with him later that evening, he said that he enjoyed himself and my company and then he made tentative plans for another date with me for the upcoming week.
So, I awoke the next day feeling happy about Dash and I, especially because I believed we had a successful 3rd date and were on our way to a 4th! That morning, Dash and I exchanged our customary “good morning” texts and he informed me that he would be spending time with family to celebrate the 4th of July. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Little did I know, that would be the last time I heard from Dash. Oh, and those loose plans for our next date would never come to fruition because Dash and I would never speak again. 😑
Let me let you in on a little tidbit of information about me. SHE does not like cliff hangers in real life or unfinished stories. Since it had only been two days since I heard from Dash, I decided to send my one and only text message to see if everything was okay. This text message was also my form of an internal power grab to get my closure rather than wait for Dash to give it to me. So, I made up my mind that if Dash did not respond, I would make him a distant memory.
I got my chapter ending after all and it came by way of Hinge, the dating app where I met Dash. God really does work in mysterious ways!
Reminder: On our second date, Dash told me that he deleted his profile so he could commit his attention to seeing where this thing between he and I would go. I thought it as a little soon for that, especially because, though my activity on the app had slowed since meeting Dash, I didn’t feel obligated to delete my profile. But, who am I to tell someone else how to date?
Imagine my surprise 😲, when Dash's newly created profile popped onto my Hinge feed, ready to mingle, with a purple badge declaring that he "just joined". (Note: Though it sucks, I’m not really surprised. I sort of predicted this would happen when I first realized that he was ghosting me.😒)
Can we be real here? Okay, good! We all talk a big game about forgetting those who do us dirty. But I know I’m not the only one who revisits those memories from time to time. In all honesty, I’m not mad at Dash and I don’t hate him. For God’s sake, we only went on 3 dates, so I didn’t and still don’t know enough about him to have any real feelings – good, bad, or indifferent. He presented a seemingly direct and straightforward nature, so ghosting didn't seem like his style. So really, I’m annoyed that he chose the cowardly way out. 🙄
You see, one of the problems with ghosting is that it allows the person who was ghosted to create scenarios that give the ghost the benefit of the doubt. At one point, I thought Dash could be in the hospital 🤷🏾♀️, especially since he had recent health issues about a week prior. Maybe he was injured and in a coma. 🤷🏿 Maybe his phone was stolen or lost. 🤷🏻♀️ Maybe he was DEAD. 🥴... but also 🤷🏽🤷🏼♀️🤷🏾 All these scenarios are valid reasons that would prevent someone from communicating in normal ways. But when you ghost someone, you leave them to ponder all these unending scenarios until they decide to stop, or they get tired of giving the ghost excuses for not being honest. In the grand scheme of things, I'm probably dodging an even bigger bullet with Dash, especially because I had quite a few unanswered questions about him and I noticed that somethings that just didn't add up. In all things, give thanks - so, I'm grateful it wasn't as messy as it could have been.
Overall, ghosting is just way too easy in this day and age! But since we are keeping it real here, I must admit that the ease of ghosting is a pro and a con. The ease of ghosting is a welcomed pro when you need to get away from someone who is extremely inappropriate, makes you feel uncomfortable, endangers your life, or is just plain creepy. But it becomes a con when it’s used as a cowardly way out of a situation – especially when the situation is new and cutting things off is, presumably, easier because no real feelings are involved. I know we can’t expect others to handle things the way we would, but I think ghosting truly frustrates me because I would never choose that route unless it was necessary and unavoidable. I prefer clean breaks and direct communication where there’s no confusion and no mixed signals. Ghosting doesn’t achieve any of those things, in my opinion.
That’s all folks! Ghosting sucks and I don’t wish it on any of you lovers!
P.S.: Remind me to tell you the story about “The One With A Basketball Team & An Assistant Coach,” it’s a perfect example of how to cleanly and effectively end a situation that just won’t work. And in true SHE fashion, you know its gonna be a good one!
