living

it´s time for me to say goodbye here..... and..... you all should know.... that i thought about this step monthslong now......... 

so many things happened (we´ve got a puppy :-).... i`m living with my man.... the new job...... and i realise that myself changed...... i`m much more less “digital” now..... much more “real”..... and i want to be even more “real”....... 

it happens now, that i don`t look on my mobile phone for a whole day........ smiling....

i won`t delete this blog...... yet..... but my motherless account and every other i remembered is already deleted.....

i can´t delete this blog... yet...... because you (my followers here..... all the wonderful men out there..... ).... still mean too much for me..... but.... i won`t be active anymore...... (maybe this changes again.... but not now.... and not the next time...... )

send all of you a kiss....... and thank you for the wonderful years here...... you often made my day..... made me smile...... made me laugh........ 

..... hmmm....

my only fetish is "an aroused man/men"... (natural submissive).... if something arouses a man... it arouses me....

in real... if i can feel how his cock gets hard...

i.m talking about toys that you used at least once on your body 😀

...also...can you post a picture of your tool box ? 😏

oh.... smiling.... perfect timing dear anon 😊

i've read your question... and remembered... that a new parcel arrived yesterday.... i've rund downwards and opened "for you"....

.... 😂.... (for tits and labia.... at least.... this is where i can imagine these ;)...)...

to be honest... i can't take you a pic.... i've got "thousands".... at the moment... i'm fascinated by "massage tools"... like accupressur mats... rolls... everything with these "spikes"....

the week before i tried (the first time)... to insert a larger spikeball in my pussy.... it was mindblowing....

first the stretching pain to get it it.... inside (i had inserted it one hour) a permanent light moving pain... like soft scratching... and the feeling of being wonderful full.... then i tried to birth it.... mhmm.... the stretching and muscle pain... during pushing it out.... and behind the ball.. when it popped out... was a waterfall of my juice.... but best... or... mhmm... most wonderful... being sore inside afterwards ... for hours... and how "being fucked" felt... with a sore pussy.... mhmmm... so sensitiive... mindblowing...

(fantastic videos happened during this exercise)....

i love to explore how my body can feel... the fine line... between pain... pleasure.... how my body can serve... how good my pussy muscles are trained...

... sunday morning coffee.... after a tough week.... (i haven't been online here the whole week.... 😳)... job takes more than 12 hours every day... *i don't want to whine about it... i'm having much fun in my job... but sometimes my job seems to gulp my "life"....

but... as you can see... i'm still doing my fitness program (bruises on my legs) every morning... don't know how i get these... but it is defenitely from "legs and booty" ... workout... smiling..

last evening my man had a "serious" word with me ... (german expression for: he telled me off)... that i have to do a sport restday today.. (because i'm hell tired)... and i'm (of course) obedient... and now sitting here.... thinking about what i can do with the won freetime... (and a bad conscience that i get fat because of one restday... 🖖)...

i think about the OF channel every day... but still not sure yet.... "what" i want to be there.... i'm between "funny, smart woman" and "pain toy"... between writing about life (like a dairy... very mixed)... and a true "porn channel".... it feels like the decision is important.... and i have to make it before i start... *and maybe it is just stupid to think that much about it...

will scroll through tumblr a bit now... i'm hoping i find some good posts for you :)...

... important for me to say in this sunday morning post.... i'm/was so impressed... and i feel so honored... how many reactions i received here during this week... messages... comments.... new followers... questions... i feel like i don't deserve this... but... it makes me feel overwhelmed "happy"... you're unbelievable... i'm very grateful...

it depends on the status of arousement... it is always good...

when i'm very wet and relaxed... it feels like "wonderful full"... completely captived... mindblowing... if i'm less wet... the stretching pain while trying to push the hand in... lets me cum...

😘 i'm planning...

but i don't WANT or NEED any money... no man should have to pay for seeing what he craves... 😘 what arouses him... what entertains him...

it is working now... 😊 but i only did some trial posts yet.... i want to have a kind of "plan"... how i want to be there... like i do here on tumblr... i love my aspiretobeless blog... it's almost presenting the whole me... but when it gets a bit too extreme... i use the pigthoughts one ;)...

i'm seriously thinking about a onlyfans.com blog... already saved my "aspiretobeless" name ;)

of course i would set it on "free"... but i'm hesitating... i don't know how many people there would be interested... if you are on onlyfans (???)...

big advatages:

i could post every content i want! (like i could do years ago here...)

everybody who is watching did an adult check

disadvantage:

everybody has to register (who wants to watch) .. and do the adult check... so i guess... people who are interested in "kinky" things aren't there... because they are not "anonymous" anymore...

what do you think? is anyone of you on onlyfans?

thank you for your feedback 😘

hmmmm.... no... i never did....

.... i wrote this morning... that there is something to celebrate today... 🥳... in fact... yesterday my first author exemplars of my first (!!) paperback book arrived!!!

i's so strange... impressing... to see me on a book cover... may i say i'm "proud"?...

it's in german... available "normal" on amazon now...

i received so many mails.. messages... that people wanted to read what i'm writing... but didn't wanted a kindle account... and although i always said i would never do a real "paper" book... i decided to publish a selection of my favorite stories... like a time travel...

so strange to feel the pages...

i'm happy... and a bit shocked... will drink a glass of sparkling wine later... it is unbelievable that i did it.... smiling...

......

...unglaublich.... mein erstes gedrucktes buch... ich bin eingeschüchtert... ein bisschen stolz.... glücklich... wildes durcheinander an gefühlen...

... und das, obwohl ich jahrelang erzählt habe... ich würde das NIE tun... und niemals einen sammelband...

für die die mir hartnäckig geschrieben haben... dass sie unbedingt lesen wollen... danke... dass ihr mich dazu gebracht habt... 😘... und jetzt viel spass... (am liebsten "harten") ... beim lesen...

wichtig: der inhalt ist "extrem"... hat nichts mit "softem" bdsm zu tun... !!... aber ich glaube... ihr kennt mich ohnehin ein wenig ;).....

(unfassbar... ich sehe mich auf nem buchcover... ich weiss noch wie ich das kleid gekauft habe... und anprobiert... und mir gedacht habe... das könnte meinen followern gefallen... und wie ich die selfies gemacht habe... vorm vorhang stehend... mir überlegt habe... ob ich den bauch einziehen muss... hab mich dagegen entschieden.. 😂)...

nochmal danke... für eure hartnäckigkeit...

( let me know if you wanna keep them going :p )

i'm laughing... about a thousand times ... i'm an online exhibitionist... (sounds strange...)... i used to post masturbation... or training videos here... it arouses me... if i think of arousing men... of entertaining men...

and (one very important thing): i'm natural submissive... i can't touch myself without a man orders it... or at least.. i have to know... that what i'm doing is exciting a man/men... (that sounds more easy than it is...)..

i remember long days... me looking for interesting online tasks (written by a man)... to "be allowed" to serve a task...

imagine you're horny... but you need "a mans will" to touch you 😂... (if you're single... or if your man is not in the mood...)...

in the meanwhile... i'm at a point... that i know... what some men dream of to see... so i "can obey" without having a (detailed) order... and i surprise with videos and pics... 😉 ... but it's still much more easy for me... to "train" with an order/task...

I wouldn't make any money, but it will be fun watch you getting fucked 18 or 20 hours a day.

🤔

i have fantasies about longtime fucking... but without the "degrading" part as you seem to like it...

"fucking" as something "dirty"... or combined with money... feels strange... not at all "right" for me....