A Sparkle-in-the-Sunlight Zombie

I find it to be poor taste to rant on facebook, so I will do it here, where I can be relatively anonymous.

So my roommate, right? (Well, I actually have three, but only one is a punk ass little bitch of a human being. You know what? Let’s call him PAB for short.)

Anyway, PAB has been living with me and my SO for about two years now (the fourth roommate has been around for about three months – he’s cool).

At the start it was fine. We had minor problems, like PAB using our toothpaste or drinking the last of the milk without asking permission. You know, small stuff. Shit that doesn’t *really* matter in the grand scheme of things. But for the last year or so, he’s really gone downhill. Part of me is sympathetic, because I know he lost a friend to a heroin overdose. That said… he’s been a real piece of shit to everyone else in the house. He hasn’t paid rent since… I think last year? That sounds about right. He owes over $1,500 at this point. 

Yet that isn’t the worst part. Oh no. See, if he was actually sincerely apologetic and making good faith efforts to fix the situation that would be one thing. Considering PAB, I think you can safely assume that hasn’t been the case. 

At first, it was only vaguely annoying. He’d be a little late but eventually get us the money. Then the stretches of lateness got longer and longer until, well, he stopped paying altogether. He keeps promising “Oh next Friday, oh next Friday” but then never delivers. And he freaking ghosts us on it. Friday rolls around and he just fucking gone and won’t resurface until Monday or Tuesday. AND THEN THE CYCLE CONTINUES. 

To add insult to injury, he has this lady friend right? She’s a walking cancer of a human being. She has, by his own admission: lied, cheated, manipulated, taken money, and is a heroin user. Oh and accused him of rape. Yet he “loves” her. “It’s so real this time, man.” Ugh. She fucking plays him and her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy against each other in order to get shit from them. I’m fairly certain she’s a large part of why he started struggling financially, began binge drinking again and, my personal “favorite” got into coke again.

Yet WE are the bad guys when we tell him she isn’t welcome in our home. We’re the ones who are disrespectful, because he’s a “grown ass adult who can have whoever he wants over.” Uh, no? We all live here bruh – we get equal votes. And three out of four roommates agree that Walking Cancer Human isn’t welcome. Furthermore, everyone but PAB is on the lease. AND EVERYONE BUT PAB HAS PAID RENT. 

He has some fucking nerve. 

It’s not just that and the rent either. He bitches and moans about not having any say in what happens in the house but we’ve invited him multiple times to our near-weekly roommate meetings to discuss the house and rules and shit. He *always* bails, even though we specifically plan them to suit his schedule. What he’s really upset about is that he tried to claim an entire floor of the house and we were like uh, no? The common areas are for everyone. You can’t just “claim” them and do whatever you want with them. 

He also is still using our shit without permission too. Ooh, and how could I forget to mention that he goes into peoples’ rooms (without permission) an goes through their stuff. 

OH OH, and he smokes indoors and lies about it (even though we’ve all caught him multiple times in the lie). 

OH, and drinks all our beer but then pretends he has no idea where it went.

Mmm, bitches about “messes” being left out over night but never cleans up after himself. Oh, and expects other people to clean up his “areas” such as his bathroom. 

Never throws down on household supplies like toilet paper, paper towels, or hand soap but bitches if we start to run low. 

Straight up admitted that he “doesn’t even care about paying us back quickly because [we] disrespected him.”

Now he’s “throwing shade” or whatever it’s called about “true friends” and junk like that on Facebook.