One Tough Daisy

Daily Dose - November 23, 2015 - A Study in Red and Blue - Hereford Cow

The southern confluence of the Arkansas Rivers. On a 30-degree, very windy and cold Kansas day.

My dad and I have run these rivers from north to south and this city from east to west and everything in between. Why just run when you could have an adventure run? That’s what makes running fun and why I keep doing it.

And surprisingly, the water felt refreshing! I guess after you’ve crossed a melting glacier in a whiteout, everything else feels good.

I’m truly sorry you feel this way, and I’m not looking for forgiveness because clearly you’re of a certain opinion about me, and that’s fine. 

I full admit to saying dumb shit to Mika and Tardy out of ignorance. It was stupid, and wrong, and definitely racist. I have apologized, but I recognize that those apologies might not be enough and I accept that they may never truly forgive me or trust me again. I was raised in a very privileged environment and I fully admit that. I am trying to get out of the bubble that I was raised-- and quite frankly, still live in. I try to be a good person, but I also realize that I will still inevitably hold certain prejudices that come through sometimes. I’m not trying to excuse my actions, just acknowledging how my privilege affects my interactions. We come from very different points of view and environments, and I fully acknowledge that. Therefore I know that I will never be able to be the best social justice advocate or friend that I can be, because I will inevitably say something out of ignorance that offends. I realize that it hurts and cuts deeply, and for that I am truly sorry. However, I reailze that my apologies mean nothing in a world where I am in a position of privilege and I’m the one doing the hurting. I don’t expect them to mean anything. 

Sometimes I don’t say things because I feel as though they have already been said a million times better than I could say them. Case in point: I always seem to say the wrong thing and make things worse. That’s why I tend to not comment on situations like this. Not because I don’t care, but because my opinion would just be more noise that wouldn’t add anything productive to the conversation. And now I am realizing that the original post I made is just that: unnecessary noise. I overstepped my boundaries trying to get involved in something that I don’t fully understand. I do that quite often, I’m afraid.