kill the lights!

Don't a lot of those shows just have people come back later and play completely different characters? You might not even have to wait to reprise your roles.

Very true! I think I could play a kidnapping victim even better nowadays, now that I've really got the range. Maybe I could even convince someone to make my character a musical theatre actress so that way I can put my vocal talents to use as well.

Oh... yeah. I'm sure you really emoted. I'll definitely have to check that episode out.

It's really one of the best episodes. I hope the show keeps going so one day I can reprise my role. I mean, imagine! Years after, the baby who was kidnapped and rescued by the SVU returns and maybe joins the team? It kind of writes itself.

wait, a baby? ...why are you telling us about this then? i thought this was like, an actual, recent accomplishment, not something your parents made happen. i don't wanna watch some baby on tv.

It was a repeat episode that was shown on Thanksgiving and I know a lot of people are seated around the TV on that day so I wanted to let people know that it was me they were seeing. And my parents had no say in the matter. A casting agent came to the nursey and I was selected due to my clear, natural talent. My parents are both actors so it was kind of genetic.

i mean, idk if i'd say no one. there's a lot of creeps out there.

Well, those creeps can stay away from me. And I'll let you know that when I was on the show, it was certainly not in the six hundredth season. Because Christopher Meloni left in 2011. And yes, I did meet him. We also had a small scene together. I did, however, happen to be a baby during all of this. So I can't say I got his number.

I've never actually seen an episode of Law and Order, but it's cool you were in one. How old were you when you were on the show?

It's a pretty great program. A lot of actors who are huge names today made guest appearances on the show before they had their breakout moment so it's kind of a good luck charm. And I was a baby during the time of filming, but I really commanded the camera even back then.

I expect nothing less. Oh, I know, I didn't play Mr. Hyde 2 years in a row for nothing. Wow, an ambitious role for you, well done. I love to see my teammates stretching themselves beyond their limits.

Oh? Well, I actually think it would be the perfect role in the show for me and very much within my abilities. Her highest note is an F5, which we both know I am more than able to hit. Besides, you may play a little young for Franklin, no? You might work better as a member of the male ensemble.

tissues? who tf is rubbing one out to svu? that's gotta be some serial killer shit.

No one! That is not what I meant! I meant that it was emotional. God...But Christopher Meloni is very hot though...

Glad to hear it, because I have you pegged for dance captain for Sectionals, so I need you in fighting shape. Oh, I'm aware, I'm already making a beeline for the role of Franklin Hart. You?

Really? I would be honored! I'll make sure to work everybody out. A role you'd crush. Don't take it the wrong way, but you're great as a villain. I'll be auditioning for Judy, of course. I mean, are you really a young female MT student if you haven't sung Get Out and Stay Out before?

That's pretty cool. Being saved from a kidnapper definitely sounds like it beats being killed and having to play a corpse instead. You get more lines for starters.

Oh. Well, I didn't really have any lines. I was, like, six months old when they filmed it. It was a re-run. It was my first ever on-screen role! They selected me out of all of the babies at my daycare! I had the most expressive face.

After a successful few days of spending time with family and donating my vocal talents to the local soup kitchen, I'm surprisingly glad to be back in Lima. The weather's as sub-par as usual, but on Monday starts a new cardio training regime for Vocal Adrenaline that I've been working on with the help a celebrity guest who will remain unnamed but is known for her 80s aerobics videos that you can catch my nana watching 9 to 5. We'll be a well-oiled machine ready for Sectionals in no time.

And I am more than excited to begin! I am very fonda a cardio workout myself. And also this reminds me that I need to put something from the musical adaptation of 9 to 5 in my book! Rumor has it that Akron Community Theatre is doing it for its next summer season.

You would be surprised. I don't know how many new drinks I hear about every night. Don't get me wrong I love a good cocktail but I stick with the classics. You got a go-to drink?

That also just seems like a nightmare for you, having to learn a bunch of absurd sounding drinks each night. People can be...strange to say the least. And I'm a Long Island iced tea type of girl.

You and Vocal Adrenaline sound like you're really fun at parties.

We are fun at parties. I just suppose our concept of fun is a little more classy than yours.

The further along I get in my education the more often I consider dropping out and joining the circus. We should really bring that back as a legit career option, I think we're missing out as a society due to a lack of trapeze artists and skilled female beard grow-ers.

Interesting. Well, I'm sure us over at Vocal Adrenaline will wish you the best if you decided to leave the show choir world behind for...clown school. Seems fitting!

What is with all these weird drinks that people that try to get me to make? What happened to the good old whiskey and coke? I’ve never heard of a Shrek piss before and I’m not sure I want to know why someone would want to drink it anyway.

Oh God, people are so classless! Do people just not drink wine anymore? Or anything that even sounds half appetising?