Snow angel

10 years huh? That's quite a long time. Hell, Sun and Moon were only a few months away from releasing when I started. And discord was only a year old at that point.

A lot sure has happened in that time. Of course there's the people who've come and gone. I've seen community highs and lows. And I've grown as both an artist and a person quite a bit.

My art has come a long way I'd like to think and I understand things I didn't before when it comes to the creative process and writing. And I'm very lucky to have this community for letting me talk about my girls and their story, which is a passion project of mine that I want to adapt into it's own comic someday. Which honestly, had it not been for y'all, I probably would've fallen out of pokemon all together during ultra sun and moon since competitive mons stopped being fun with the generational gimmick.

All that said... I feel for this 10 year anniversary, I should tell a story. The story of my experience with this community. And I'll put it under a readmore because it's a pretty big wall.

Linda stared at Dravol with an unreadable gaze for a moment as she processed the words of the smaller mon.

"Had it not been for that look you gave me, I probably wouldn't believe you." She finally responded with a sort of somberness in her tone.

She then gave a sharp exhale through her nose and her expression softened as she sat down.

"My home on fire, the blood on my hands and my face, everything? It'd certainly explain that look you gave me." The corner of her lip cracked into a slight smile. "Guess I can't talk around it then can I?" She jokes with a weak laugh.

"I'm not afraid of much. But what I did that day... My friends. My home. Well... you saw it right?" She asked with a forced smile. "I couldn't control myself. And mons I cared about died because of it. And the fact that I can't still hasn't changed." She admits as she sits crisscross in front of the dragat and leans in a bit.

"But before I get too into that, I'd like to know more about this incarnate thing. Specifically what you do with this power you have over fear. Is it something you use against other mons or something? Can you force them to experience it? Judging from the look of you, it must be a lot to carry." She assumes. Her smile softens. "You really have me curious given you were able to catch me off guard like that. That's not something many mons can do." She stated with a chuckle, reassuring the smaller dragon as she plants her elbow on her thigh and rests her chin on the back of her hand. "The name's Linda by the way."

Tucker turns to face the voice of who rudely yelled at him.

"Hello to you too Steve."

"My mandatory information gathering and socializing with the locals." He answered firmly.

Tucker raises an eyebrow. "And it took you this long to get back?" The arcanine asks in slight disbelief. A smug grin forming on his face. "Must've been hard to get people to talk to ya." He joked. Nintai lightly chuckling from behind him.

"Nonsense! Communication was no issue at all." He barked, seemingly missing the arcanine's attempt at humor.

"And was it more than a hello and goodbye?" The fire type asked in a sly tone.

Nintai leans over to peek from behind Tucker's head as the manetric hesitated to give an answer and looks away from the two. Causing Nintai holds back a chuckle, which Tucker lets go free.

Steve's ears flatten as his eyes snap back to the larger dog in front of him. Giving a flustered glare as can only respond with a huff as he walks to the other side of the camper door.

"Whatever. Just don't goof off and disappoint our boss."

"But yes. I have good reason to despise the three gods that could've helped me in my misery."

Tsubayuki's brows scrunch together in a pensive gaze as she stares into the horizon in front of them.

"Those three are Xerneas, Yveltal, and Arceus."

As Tsubayuki spoke, her tone grew more sharp and harsh while her face shoed more anger and frustration.

She paused for a moment to breath and calm herself before turning towards Kyurem. "So as you could imagine. Seeing them here after all this time would feel like an insult more than anything. And I will not take kindly to them showing their faces should they finally decide to."

"But those feelings are reserved for a few gods in particular. As they are the three that could have been able to help me with this..." She looks down at her hands with a grimace. "Condition of mine. And they have not done so."

Tsubayuki folds her arms under her chest as she turns to properly face the mew beside her. "From what I know, mew was responsible for creating every species of pokemon. Not having a role in their cycles. So no, I have no reason to take issue with you"

Having had a recent visit by death already soured her mood. And now being graced by the gardevoir's presence, only seemed to make things worse.

The lopunny had to take a moment to collect herself before she turned to look the legendary descendant in the eyes.

Tsubayuki's tone held a hint of venom in it as she spoke. Only becoming more agitated as she continued.

"How your ancestor or their counterpart would allow me to come back is beyond me. And how such a mistake did not get fixed is disgraceful." She stated, her frustration slowly becoming more clear in her voice. "And while I understand that the sins of your ancestor are not your own. That does not change the fact that I have been left to suffer for it."

Tsubayuki pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath, letting out an annoyed sigh before she continues speaking again.

- Tsubayuki seems to have an issue with legendary pokemon. Perhaps you could ask why. -

The air grew colder as Tsubayuki stared at Death. Not with fear. But with bitter anger.

"Do not patronize me by pretending as if you believe we stand on any similar ground." She spat, turning to face the gardevoir with a sneer. "Unless you can bring him back, who he was that they took from me matters not to you. Nor would you be able to understand what he meant me."

The lopunny turns to face her back towards death once again. "Such emotions and concerns are above gods like you are they not?" She asked condescendingly before walking away. Not bothering to wait for a response as she clearly isn't interested to hear it.

"This fort is for her actually. And it's a base full of secrets I'm not allowed to talk about." The arcanine looks around before gently leaning in and turns his head. "But I'll tell ya what." He whispers to the smaller mon. "I might be able to convince her to share some candy that's inside if you help me cheer up my friend here. Sound good?"

[ @ask-sootie-tootie ]

At first Linda didn't believe what the smaller dragon was saying. But when the Azureon mentioned that she saw outrage, the mienshao felt something that she hasn't felt in a while.

She was shocked. If not for a just a moment.

Being caught off guard like this, now she has some questions.

The dragoness closes her eyes in a pensive look and raises a hand in front of her. "Okay back up a little bit." She started, now raising an eyebrow as she looked down at Dravol with suspicion. "What do you mean you have power over fear?" She asked, leaning forward a little. Briefly looking the smaller dragon up and down. "Is that something you're naturally able to do? Because I don't think I've seen your kind before."

In the middle of a forest clearing, an arcanine sits quietly yet attentively next to a camper. His head raising slightly as his ear flickers at the sound of footsteps approaching from the forest to his right.

He quickly stands up as he turns to see who the footsteps belong to as they drew closer. Soon relaxing after a brief look of surprise as he sees two familiar faces coming out of the bushes. Sandra and Nintai.

He cut his friendly greeting short as he noticed something off about the two as they approached.

Sandra seemed to be attempting to cheer up the froslass who looked defeated. The Arcanine's smile turned to an unamused look as he furrowed a brow.

"Alright, what happened?" He asked in a flat, tired tone. Almost as if it was routine.

"The introductions didn't go to well. Turns out our rabbit doesn't like other yuki onna that much." She answered regretfully.

The canine's expression turned to one of shock and surprise. "Wait seriously? She didn't attack you guys did she?" He asked as he leaned in toward the the two smaller mons with a look of concern.

Nintai gently raises a hand to reassure the canine that she's alright before meekly speaking. "No... Just angry."

The fire type's expression softens. "I see..." He utters as he lays back down where he was initially. "Come here kid." He asked to Nintai who gently floated over to lay down on his back.

"Thanks Tucker..." She quietly mumbled.

The arcanine turns to S

"Don't mention it." He responded. The arcanine then turned to Sandra who was walking to the camper door. "So, where's Clem?"

"The boss said she'd catch up with us." Answered the grass type as she opened up the camper door and began climbing the steps. "Now if you'll excuse me. I'm getting out of this cold."

Tsubayuki stood silently as she recollected her memories to answer the other pokemon.

Remembering the day that she swore off using that stone.

Her voice was quiet yet stern, yet she sounded as if she was talking to herself rather than the houndoom behind her.

"I often have to defend myself from those that want to 'rid the world of the wicked ice witch' and as I am sure you would as well in my position, I had to defend myself."

"And there was once a monster hunter group, ran by a man that had a scizor as his partner. He had some of his underlings terrorize those living in lake Acuity, destroying their homes to lure me into an ambush that they were holding for me."

There was a brief hesitation before she continued.

"Perhaps they were hoping for what came next, perhaps they did not know how much I held back." Her voice showing an ever so slight shakiness to someone paying attention.

The rabbit finally turned to face Noelle. Her brows creasing the bridge of her eyes as she had pained sadness within them. "What happened that day is something I refuse to let happen again." She stated, her tone laced with regret.

"So until I am sure I can control myself under mega evolution. I will not perform it. And I am lucky to have not needed to do so since."

Had the rabbit not taken the time to calm down, she would've responded to Valiant's frustration with her own anger. Anger directed towards the one that's done this to him.

Instead she felt pity. There truly is a lot that the zoroark just does not know, because he's only recently getting things back that were taken from him. Needing help with understanding these new sensations. Something she was more than willing to continue teaching him about as long as he was willing to listen.

"You would be correct, they are not good reasons." She began, choosing to confirm Valiant's assumption in his second question before answering the first. "To be petty means to care or respond unnecessarily strongly to something. Which is what the reasons you say arceus has given you, fall under." Tsubayuki holds her hands out to the floor as a couple of small swirls of snow form under them. "Allow me to provide an example with visual representation to help explain."

"The bigger this one is, the more unreasonably strong the response is seen as."

"So a normal response to a disagreement would handled by talking, perhaps some yelling or arguing will be involved. But both people would walk away afterwards."

"How your arceus responds to a disagreement is out right killing the one they are having it with."

"Does that make sense?" She asks Valiant. Dispersing the snow into the air as she rests her hands on her legs again. "Something being petty is indeed bad, however it is not bad in the same way as something being disgusting. Both words have different meanings."

"As for the emotion you are feeling. That is called frustration. A common emotional response people have to struggles or opposition of something they want to do or achieve. Which for you, as you said, is you not being able to understand how your body knows to feel guilt from why arceus tells you to harm others. Something I believe must have carried over from a past life of yours. However many of those you might have had."

Tsubayuki paused for a moment as she had to reflect on her own actions done in the past to answer Valiant's last question. "My reasons..." She trailed off for a moment, trying to find the words to explain what she has done. "I would say that they are as good as a reason could be to take a life." Her gaze drifts towards the floor. "It is always a difficult choice. But one I have had to make many times." The lopunny admits as she looks Valiant in the eyes once more. "My reasons have a much smaller range than what arceus has. Sometimes I have to kill someone in self defense as they were out to kill me. Sometimes someone attacks my home and endangers those that live there. And other times I find someone that finds pleasure in causing pain and suffering through torture and murder, and deciding that the world would be better without them."

The rabbit finds her hands clasping together as she looks to the floor again. "Even if those reasons can be justified. It is a last resort for me and I will never take pleasure in having to do it. Even if it is necessary."

She looks up at the zoroark once again with a somber look. "Those that are capable of telling right from wrong will always feel guilt when taking the life of another. So there is nothing wrong with yours. Nor is it able to know more than you, as that is not how emotions work. They are an instinctual response your mind and body has to something. Just like the fear you see from mortals."

"Now while I cannot agree with the reasons arceus has for destroying lives, I do understand that you are being forced to obey them. Despite not enjoying it. However that being said I am curious." Tsubayuki furrowed a brow as she leaned forward a bit. "You said that you refused their orders before, and that you stopped caring about the punishments. So I must ask, what has changed between then and now?"

There were many thoughts going through Tsubayuki's head as the quiet sound of crackling ice crept up the fluff of her ears and hair while she listened to Valiant blame himself for the situation his arceus put him in.

She couldn't stand it.

What was worse was finding out that he couldn't even escape it through death. His cruel god would simply bring him back over, and over again. Because why would they let such a convenient tool go so easily? The very idea sounded like a living hell to her.

But even so, no matter how much the disgust and anger coursed through her, she once again could not take it out on this mon. Who was becoming rather uncomfortable with the information he had to process, so much so that he began hugging his legs.

The lopunny spent the next few minutes sitting quietly to calm herself down, her expression remaining unchanged from her normal stoic gaze in hopes that Valiant wouldn't notice the very strong emotions she's hiding.

She had a lot of things she wanted to say. But the zoroark was making it clear that continuing to explain much more about emotions wasn't going to get either of them much further. However she couldn't just leave Valiant to believe that this purgatory his heartless god trapped him in is his fault. So after a deep misty breath, the rabbit finally broke her silence.

"I know that all this is difficult to understand. So you would prefer to continue this conversation another time, then I will respect your decision if you truly do not wish for me to continue." She stated with acceptance and understanding. "And you would be correct, your situation would cause anyone misery. However I want you to know that none of this is your fault." Tsubayuki continued, her eyes shifting to the empty space between her and Valiant, as she did her best to maintain her calm demeanor and tone as the topic shifts to his arceus once again.

"Especially since it sounds like, based on the reasons for killing you have given, arceus cares not for the thoughts or lives of others, let alone your own." The rabbit found herself clenching her fists against her legs with those last few words.

"Their reasons for killing are disgusting and petty. You likely knew this in your past lives which is why you began to refuse commands despite the resulting punishments." Tsubayuki pointed out, returning her focus to the zoroark in front of her.

"That is not to say that there are not reasons to take the life of another. I must confess that being forced to kill is something I have had to do myself before." The lopunny's expression softens as she continues. "Be it in self defense, defending others, or protecting my home. Every time I did, I felt things similar to guilt myself. So I can understand. Why you would choose to spend as little time doing what you are told as possible."