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Breaking The Male Code: After Steubenville, A Call To Action

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RAPE TW ; SAGE-KUN IS A RAPIST

RAPE TW ; SAGE-KUN IS A RAPIST

RAPE TW ; SAGE-KUN IS A RAPIST

sage-kun, real name Matt Coy, 26 years old, is a tumblr user in the California, Long Beach area (near LA), who is working towards a job in educating middle school students, and he is a rapist. Several years ago, he raped his straight friend while they were sharing a bed (during a trip) as said best friend was sleeping, by performing oral sex on him. He has talked about this incident to me privately as well as publicly on his blog. The state of California clearly defines the actions he performed as rape. This is a screencap of him admitting to being a rapist on his blog:

This is a screenshot of a post he made a while ago after it came out that a popular tumblr user, Josh Macedo, was sending unwanted sexual messages to women, particularly underage women, where sage-kun talks about a “horrible, very bad, no good” thing he did that hurt someone (rape, but he refuses to call it that out loud). 

Please do not be friends with this rapist. I know a lot of you like and are friends with this person, but you absolutely must not simply ignore this massive, glaring, horrifying thing he has done. He is emotionally manipulative and has tried to silence me into keeping quiet, as well as calling attempts to call attention to what he has done as “slander” and “petty warfare”, and convince me that he has a right to keep this quiet. I am writing this post because I think everyone who associates with sage-kun deserves to know that he is a rapist. I dare him to reblog this post. I dare him to acknowledge 100% publicly to everyone that associates with him that he is a rapist, not just “a person who did a very bad no good thing”.

sage-kun can be found on the following websites (he may try to relocate or change urls, I will keep the original post updated with the most up-to-date info available to me):

tumblr: sage-kun

twitter: sage_kun

facebook: Matt Coy

okcupid: DriftingTerra

Here’s my reblog that you think I’m so scared of doing.  I’m not running from what I did.  I’ve talked about it at least twice on my blog and with multiple friends in private, so this is nothing new for my older followers.

This incident occurred in summer of 2006 at Anime Expo.  My friend and I were sharing a bed and I sexually assaulted him, both molesting him and performing unwanted fellatio on him.  I’m not going to skirt around my actions, as I have not done in the past.  I’ve been fairly open about this, posting about it twice publicly (including the post you screencapped as well as another time on my previous blog that I remade from in 2012).

My friend and I have discussed this incident at length, both right after the incident and even years later to this day.  As far as I and mutual friends of ours know, he’s forgiveness.  Hell, he even jokes about it every so often.

Does his forgiveness lessen the shittiness of my actions?  Hell no.  What I did to him was wrong and gross in every way possible and I feel that I do not deserve forgiveness in any sense of the word.  He still has every right to stop talking to me and drag my name through the mud as he pleases because of what I did.  My friends that know of this incident, whether they’re just learning now or have known of it for a while, have a right to leave me if they feel uncomfortable without saying a word (which is why I never question unfollows or unfriending).

The issue I’m taking with this though?  This incident has zero to do with you.  Nothing.  You’re taking someone else’s victimhood status that he doesn’t even align himself with and using it for your own gain.  In fact, your use of this incident is actually upsetting my friend greatly and triggering his PTSD he obtained from army service.

That’s the reason I don’t call what I did rape:  he doesn’t want to call it rape.  As a victim of the incident, he has every right to call it what he wants, and he has not and does not want it to be called that.  So way to speak over actual victims.

Hell, by your definition, you raped me.  That one time you tried to stick your dick in my ass while you thought I was asleep soon after we had consensual sex?  You know, the time you gave me HPV on my anus because of your actions since you didn’t use a condom?  But I don’t call it rape because I don’t consider it rape, so I never called you out publicly (I have discussed it with a few close friends) as a rapist because I don’t consider you one.  You’re a sexual assaulter at worst, especially given how you recreated the incident of what I did to him (performing the sleep checks, slow actions as to not wake the person, etc.), manipulating me into silence as you did what you did so that you could get away with it.

This call-out is one of the most disingenuous things I’ve ever seen, William.  People full-on know of how much we hate each other and you’re only using this as a guilt-trip to manipulate other people, considering your sheer number of posts you made telling your followers to reblog it.  A lot of our mutual friends already knew what happened because of my public posts and private conversations with them.  Like I said before, if anyone is uncomfortable by being friends with me knowing this information, they have every right to walk away with no words, or even negative words, said.  However, what you’re doing isn’t that.  It’s exploiting call-out culture to further your own name and drag mine in the mud and to not give voices to victims.  You’re speaking over the victim with what you’re doing here considering you have zero contact with him.

You have absolutely no right to use someone else’s pain simply to further your own gain by speaking over them.

Both people are awful, but I think it's a special kind of disgusting when someone says "yeah, I raped someone, so what he's over it! YOU'RE worse for calling me out on being a rapist!" 

Avoid both, if both are rapists. But it's not uncommon for a rapist to accuse their victim of being worse than them/also a rapist, so keep that in mind. 

I have seen their posts drifting across my Dashboard (even while busy running a kingdom I have a little time to check Tumblr!), and everything they are saying is absolutely horrendous. 

Block them immediately, report them to Tumblr (you can do that by providing links and a brief explanation of their harassment to [email protected]), and stay far, far away from this awful person! 

I also saw a message that was reblogged stating that “fluticashit is just satire,” and I must emphasize something to those who believe this: using slurs is not satire.

Listen up feminists and LGBT activists! Yes, you who worship the holy trinity of “sex, gender, and sexuality” in your educational literature! Yes, you who suddenly discovered transgender folks sometime during the 1990s and decided that, for their sake, it would be super important to draw a clear distinction between “sex” as a biological, bodily fact and “gender” as a mode of social identification! You’re doing it wrong. Sex is not “what’s in your pants.” Sex is not chromosomes. Sex is not hormones. Sex is not biology. Sex is neither a penis nor a vagina. Sex is not breasts, nor is it chest hair, prostates or ovaries. I’m a transgender woman. For the next few months at least, what’s in my pants is a penis. I have a prostate gland. I have a Y chromosome. “Aha!” you say. “So your sex is male but your gender is female! That’s what makes you transgender.” Wrong. Try again! “Sex” is a social decision made at the moment of birth (or earlier if your parent[s] get a sonogram). We only assign children a “sex” because of gender, because we feel the cultural imperative to sort people into two dichotomous populations based on the presence or absence of a tiny bit of flesh. “Sex” is gender in doctor’s clothing: nothing more, nothing less. Yes, we have bodies. Yes, those bodies have characteristics. Yes, those characteristics have gendered meanings in a cisnormative world. But this “sex” you keep on looking for, that you incorporate into your ostensibly trans-inclusive curriculum? It. Doesn’t. Fucking. Exist. The only people who need to know details about my body parts are my doctors and my lovers. Do you fall into one of those two groups? No? Then you don’t need to know what’s in my pants! You don’t need to know what my chromosomes are. You don’t need to know my estrogen levels (although they’re quite high, thank you very much).

All you need to know is that my name is Samantha, I use female pronouns and I pee behind the door with the dress on it. Guess what? We can teach people all of those things without them knowing anything about my body.