* ✧🎙️📺✧ *

💡 * ?! W-Wait... This is a joke, right? 💡 * I have a hard time trusting any fanmail I get ever since someone tried sending me the locusts... 💡 * I've... never been called beautiful before... I... I didn't think such a word could ever apply to someone who looks like I do. 💡 * I keep looking for a punchline to your message, but it seems to evade me. Its sincerity shines brighter than any script. 💡 * (Or perhaps my eye is just reflecting back at me while I read it over and over...?) 💡 * If this message truly is earnest, then I... Uhm... I thank you, I suppose. It's a welcome change of pace.

💡 * . . . 💡 * I think I prefer the death threats.

📺 * (( And if I go through with this... would he still...?))

🎙️ * Can't say I'm crazy about yellow, but I just needed somethin' to match my eyes, y'know? 🎙️ * They've always looked like this, but truth be told, pink has always been my callin'. 🎙️ * Pink 'n yellow eyes. Even among other Microphones, I never met one with sucha combination. 🎙️ * I just hope it makes me look friendly. I can't help but feel there's a deeper reason for looking this way... 🎙️ * But I needn't contemplate. I'm just an old mic after all.

🎙️ * (N-No, I'm not being humble, honey! I'm just bein' realistic! They must be thinkin' of someone else. Mike's a pretty common name, ain't it?)

🎙️ * That's rough, ain't it? It's not the real reason though. 🎙️ * We... haven't really disclosed that information to the public. 🎙️ * Host doesn't like discussin' it, and it's not my place to talk about it either. 🎙️ * But we don't swear in front of the kids. 🎙️ * Host has their sillier moments, but we'd do anything to protect our kids.

☂️ * ? Why would I? They're perfectly competent. ☂️ * They're second in command on my Channel for a reason. ☂️ * I'd complain about the PDA, but it's not like we can escape it. ☂️ * The bosses actively subject everyone to it.

☂️ * This is a public apology for requesting "death threat suggestions" for my fellow coworkers and friends here at the Cable cast. ☂️ * I have been told to "Not do that" and to "Apologize to the Film Channel". ☂️ * No hard feelings, heh... But I didn't send him the locusts.

💡 * T-Thank you, viewer, but I am not going to be taking any more gifts. 💡 * One of the calls to the Weather Channel got intercepted, suggesting a bounty on my head. 💡 * I've been advised to watch my back. And to not take any suspicious calls. 💡 * She wouldn't actually do it, of course.. 💡 * But I'm concerned that the pool of viewers who dislike my presence is much larger than I initially thought. 💡 * I apologize for my lackluster contributions to the Film Channel.

🎙️ * Eh? What's so wrong with pink? Ya call it girly like that's a bad thing, heaheahea! 🎙️ * I don't gotta justify it, but I just can't help lovin' it! It's the colour of PASSION. And flowers. 🎙️ * S'not my fault ya can't take me seriously. ( It ain't like I ain't used to it, heh!) 🎙️ * For you, it's a... How do kids call it..? Yes. A Skill Issue. 🎙️ * I'm kiddin', of course. Take care.

🎙️ * That ain't funny, kid. 🎙️ * I can assure you our Tori would never do sucha thing. 🎙️ * Besides! Host told me that Kris- Huh...? 🎙️ * W-Well, what I mean is that no one's gonna get replaced! 🎙️ * We can't afford to lose more people!

☂️ * Finally someone gets it. ☂️ * I don't think Mike would be too happy about it. ☂️ * Hate to admit it, but I don't like seeing him upset. ☂️ * But who would I kill? Please send your suggestions and I'll be more than happy to bring this gift of murder for the fans.

💡 * L-LOCUSTS?! DID NO ONE CHECK THIS BEFORE IT WAS SENT HERE?! 💡 * I do not want this! Thank you, but no thank you. 💡 * I am incredibly busy and this is wildly inconvenient! 💡 * Someone needs to review these gifts!! I thought we were just getting written messages!

* OBVIOUSLY we're both number 1! * You can't be number 1 by cheating, dork!! * The bruteforce method is NOT cheating!! You're just jealous that your cheat codes take so long to input! Button? More like BUTT! * Cheat codes were made to be used! I'm playing by the rules of the game! Unlike SOMEONE! * It's in the name!! They're CHEAT codes- Wait did this Lightner just call us professionals? * Oh shoot, you're right! We gotta settle this. Which is better? Bruteforce method or cheat codes?

☂️ * Oh wonderful. We're doing the fanmail thing again... Thanks Mike. ☂️ * I'll let you in on a secret, Lightner. ☂️ * I'm trying so hard to hear them... He heard them so clearly, but now that he's gone, all I hear is the storm... ☂️ * If I just try hard enough... if everyone would just be quiet for once... ☂️ * Maybe I'd hear the song of the sea once more. ☂️ * It's funny. I actually find it comforting... The raging ocean reminds me of my sunnier days...

📺 * ( Those are just our Microphone Darkners, not an issue! ) 📺 * ( Vermin will be dealt with accordingly. )