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@ask-torankusu
I've been told to open up to people and work my "abysmal" social skills so here I am.
My name is Trunks, but I tend to go by Tora as to not steal my counterpart's identity in this timeline. My calendar age is technically.. 18 I believe, but my actual age is more in the ballpark of 23-ish. Lots of time spent hopping around.
I.. uh.. have been told I should be upfront about my difference to him. So.. uh... I am not male.
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My entire life people have been telling me I have severe anxiety and for some reason I'm only just now figuring it out. "Anxiety? What are you talking about? These are normal survival instincts!" As it turns out, having your every thought process controlled by fear and going into fight or flight whenever anyone so much as talks to you unexpectedly are not normal experiences, even for someone who grew up in an enviornment as traumatizing as the one I have.
Anyway, @ghost-han is looking at me like I'm an idiot, and I frankly don't blame him, as he's one of the ones who's been telling me about this for years.
It's been an ordeal to explain how different my– our brains and individual growth have been.
Irregular sleep patterns, short naps instead of full nights to avoid nightmares, doing anything to kill the smell, pushing away people, the occasional violent outburst..
It gets better, eventually. It never really fully leaves, and I still find my way into Mother's bed too often for her liking, but it does get better.
The chemistry spiral in our brains calms down when peace becomes tangible and reliable. It won't change how we're wired, but at least it stops being fed.
If you wish to talk, other me, don't hesitate. We've walked similar paths, and "being Trunks" is an experience that nobody else can relate to.
Mental health is a problem for a lot of people, especially those from traumatic backgrounds. It's not surprising to find that another Trunks is struggling with things too; I know both Trunks and I have our fair share of issues.
I imagine all three of us are coping in different ways, though; even if we've had similar experiences, they're not the same, and we're not the same people (even if you and Trunks technically are), so obviously we're going to handle things differently.
The sleeping sparsely to avoid nightmares thing, while I understand, is not something I personally can pull off. My sleep schedule is messed up, don't get me wrong, but that's more to do with having nothing to do and nowhere to go most of the time. Trunks definitely struggles with nightmares more than I do; I often wake up with him cuddled at my side.
And I know what you mean by the smell. I don't think Trunks would, though... his nose doesn't work right and the only thing he can consistently smell is watermelon (which he claims is incredibly overpowering). Back when we were constantly surrounded by the smells of the apocalypse, he was able to be a lot more focused than I was.
As for the lashing out at people and pushing them away, I can definitely relate. I constantly see threats where there are none, then wind up getting defensive and eventually aggressive (especially if I see something as a threat to Trunks). It's much harder to make and keep connections when you're constantly wary of getting hurt. Trunks has the same problem, to the point he's started to dismiss actual threats because he thinks he's being paranoid. I've had to fish him out of a lot of sticky situations in the time I've been here.
I have to agree with everything you've said. The smell issue... I have a solution, or rather a bandaid, but I wouldn't recommend it.
The fact that I was most comfortable and clear-headed during the second half of my year with Father in the Room of Spirit and Time is certainly proof of how unhealthy everything was. "Stupid Saiyan genes" I guess. Giving in to my destructive tendencies against that kind of target in relative safety helped me figure out myself out, in a way.
Connections.... It brings out a lot questions concerning our experiences- mine and Trunks', I mean. My Gohan was also protective of me, exactly like how you're describing. For the longest time it was just the three of us, with Mother. I'm glad this version of me has you to find comfort in. My offer still stands, "being Trunks" is a unique experience and I aspire to be as relaxed and hopeful as older-me.
I've ended up accepting that I was a loner and don't seek connections anymore. As long as I have Mother to hold and I can punch Father every now and then, I'll be fine.
If you've got nothing to do, have you tried getting into writing?
My entire life people have been telling me I have severe anxiety and for some reason I'm only just now figuring it out. "Anxiety? What are you talking about? These are normal survival instincts!" As it turns out, having your every thought process controlled by fear and going into fight or flight whenever anyone so much as talks to you unexpectedly are not normal experiences, even for someone who grew up in an enviornment as traumatizing as the one I have.
Anyway, @ghost-han is looking at me like I'm an idiot, and I frankly don't blame him, as he's one of the ones who's been telling me about this for years.
It's been an ordeal to explain how different my– our brains and individual growth have been.
Irregular sleep patterns, short naps instead of full nights to avoid nightmares, doing anything to kill the smell, pushing away people, the occasional violent outburst..
It gets better, eventually. It never really fully leaves, and I still find my way into Mother's bed too often for her liking, but it does get better.
The chemistry spiral in our brains calms down when peace becomes tangible and reliable. It won't change how we're wired, but at least it stops being fed.
If you wish to talk, other me, don't hesitate. We've walked similar paths, and "being Trunks" is an experience that nobody else can relate to.
Trunks, did you guys end up giving a nickname to your other self?
In my reality and trips, you (and the native Gohan) call me "Tora", but Goten insists on Trunks-san (as opposed to Trunks-kun, which would be you).
(@ask-torankusu)
Usually when we hear “Trunks” we both just look… a nickname would probably fix that confusion..
The young version of mother used to call me her "big Trunks", as opposed to the baby (and calling us both her "pair of Trunks", which sadly spread beyond my control so I've learnt to accept it), but we ended up finding out about another version of me, who died protecting the Time Machine. That Trunks was then addressed as "bigger Trunks" due to him being two years older than me.
Father might have an idea. He is usually bad at names but creative when it comes to epithets.
Are you the Gohan that raised me, or another one?
I'm still confused as to why I ended up being different from the other Trunkses, Mother said she was running some tests... (@ask-torankusu )
Well, considering the Trunks who brought me back was @definitelynottrunks, I would say I'm probably not the one who raised you. I don't really understand what you mean by "different from the other Trunkses", but know that you're loved and cared about regardless. I'm still unfamiliar with this whole timelines thing (no matter how many times Trunks tries to explain) and am even more confused on the amount of Trunkses on this website, but know that just because you're not my Trunks per se doesn't mean I don't care about you.
Y'know I never would've discovered he had a Tumblr if he hadn't mentioned me in this post.
Mh, I appreciate the care, Gohan, but you needn't worry about my feelings. I have been pretty good at differentiating different versions of myself and others; I've been to.. four different timelines, including my own? As for being different, it's because unlike those others I've crossed paths with, I am not male.
As for you, other-Trunks, you don't seem to be the one whose Time Machine was stolen, so we haven't met. Hi. Hope you're doing well.
I'll be honest, I'm having trouble figuring out how to respond to this coherently. I'm only partially connected to the living world and sometimes that connection gets a little looser, so my mind is a little foggy at the moment.
With the timeline thing, I still don't really understand, but my Trunks has told me we're not in the same timeline that they and I grew up in. They've also mentioned several other timelines? I've missed a lot and it's hard to put it all together.
And as for not being male, don't worry, my Trunks isn't entirely male either. Actually, just a few minutes ago, they asked me to use solely they/them today since they're feeling more androgynous than normal. Though this begs the question, which pronouns would you like me to use for you?
If it can help, I don't mind walking people through it all, I have already had to do it with another version of you a while ago, so once you feel better, please don't hesitate.
Good for them to know how they're feeling about what language feels best, and good on you for adjusting.
As for me... It depends. My mother, my Gohan, the Tapion from my own timeline, as well as the other Trunks (the one whose Time Machine was stolen) know or knew about my gender and use 'Trunks' as well feminine language about me.
The Piccolo, Krillin, Tenshinhan and everyone else in the past use 'Trunks' and male pronouns. That Bulma uses 'little Trunks' for her son, 'big Trunks' or 'handsome seventeen year old Trunks' for me, and 'bigger Trunks' or 'handsome twenty year old Trunks' for that other Trunks I went to help out before going home.
That world's Gohan always calls me 'Tora-san' as well as male pronouns because that was the nickname I used when I met everyone for the first time. Father.. I wonder if he knows. I don't believe I have ever heard him use gendered language (about anyone) and he only ever said my name once in my presence so it's a little strange.
So to answer your question, I suppose I'm fine with any choice, since I was addressed with she and he most of my life. Depends if you wish to see me as the girl I am, or the warrior I show to the world. Both 'he' and 'she' feel like 'me', I guess?
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Are you the Gohan that raised me, or another one?
I'm still confused as to why I ended up being different from the other Trunkses, Mother said she was running some tests... (@ask-torankusu )
Well, considering the Trunks who brought me back was @definitelynottrunks, I would say I'm probably not the one who raised you. I don't really understand what you mean by "different from the other Trunkses", but know that you're loved and cared about regardless. I'm still unfamiliar with this whole timelines thing (no matter how many times Trunks tries to explain) and am even more confused on the amount of Trunkses on this website, but know that just because you're not my Trunks per se doesn't mean I don't care about you.
Y'know I never would've discovered he had a Tumblr if he hadn't mentioned me in this post.
Mh, I appreciate the care, Gohan, but you needn't worry about my feelings. I have been pretty good at differentiating different versions of myself and others; I've been to.. four different timelines, including my own? As for being different, it's because unlike those others I've crossed paths with, I am not male.
As for you, other-Trunks, you don't seem to be the one whose Time Machine was stolen, so we haven't met. Hi. Hope you're doing well.
GOHAN HOW DID YOU GETBON TUMBLR??? - FUTURE TRUNKS
I'm not sure how to explain other than the fact that it was a long and torturous process.
THIS IS WILD.
It's haunting almost.
... You spent too much time with Kaio-sama 🤨
Hi Tora! Have you ever tried strawberry tiramisu? If so, what do you think? (Also I'm not saying plant one in the kitchen and observe your parents but.... if you do that, you've GOT to record it. For science.)
... I didn't know this even existed, I will certainly try it!
I'm not as good with cameras as this version of my mother but I do indeed regret not having a picture of Father discovering tiramisu for the first time.
I suppose it would either be eaten by the first person who sees it or end in a fight and Father folding to let his wife eat it.
If it's not Bulma but my mother, she would probably let him have it and then tease him for days.
