Ask Tiny Bendy

This is about @askdirebendy and i’m sure a lot of you know what they did and yeah, what they did was VERY wrong and they hurt me greatly. But something was putting me off afterwards. Hearing stuff they’ve told me about themselves during the friendship and after what they did something bothered me and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But the fact they said “they hurt me and they enjoyed it” but kept constantly apologizing and expressing to a friend of mine how sorry they were and even cried in front of me days later. I don’t think they actually enjoyed what they did. If anything it seemed like they wanted to punish and hurt themselves. Considering i’ve been diagnosed with BPD i can understand as i do the same shit sometimes without wanting to actually hurt others. I spent a lot of time with them and learns a lot about them not just from what they’ve told me but their actions and other things as well. I’m pretty sure they have bipolar or some personality disorder, based on what i’ve experienced and what they’ve told me. They fact their mood constantly rapidly changes throughout the day and saying they like hurting others and then regretting it and wishing they never did such a thing. That’s not normal. I personally can relate with them. I used to be a major cunt and piece of shit since i was 12, I didn’t even know what BPD was and i thought how aggressive i used to be and toxic i was, was just my personality when it wasn’t. I didn’t realize i had a mental illness that was contributing to my toxic behavior. Once i found out about BPD and realized i most likely had it i understood more and did my best to control it. I still try to control it. 

I know @askdirebendy is pretty hated right now but. Please don’t. Even when they can be diagnosed with bipolar or what causing them to be more toxic it still doesn’t excuse their actions at all. But. Even though they’ve hurt me greatly. I’m sticking by them. Because i understand exactly how they feel. They were going to go into isolation over what they did, too scared of hurting anyone else. And from personal experience. Isolation isn’t good. When i lost everyone i only had one person when i was isolated and they weren’t the best to only have. It lead me to being even more depressed and suicidal than i already was and. I don’t want that to happen to them too. They are honestly a wonderful person. They are incredibly sweet and caring and helped me out of a huge rut i was in and they actually helped me stopped being extremely depressed. They are very caring, funny, and i honestly love them to death even after what they did to me.

 So i’m going to help them. I’ve been in contact with them again for the past three days and i’ve given them some coping mechanisms such as, if they feel angry and want to hurt something to boot up a video game where you can kill or hurt a bunch of NPCS, draw angry vent art, punch a pillow, and even use an app i use called vent. And they’ve been doing the things i told them to do and it’s been helping. I’ve noticed when they’ve been getting frustrated in calls with me they use vent or punch their pillow and shortly after they calm down more. So they’ve been doing well already. I’m going to do my best to get them into some kind of therapy and a psychiatrist to get the professional help they need. I’m sure i will get backlash for this because what they did was disgusting and they know that too. They know what they did is disgusting. You don’t have to trust them, but all i ask. Is please don’t hate them. They want to be a better person, they won’t want to keep hurting people and losing their friends. They want to improve. So please. You don’t have to trust them. But please. Don’t hate them. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this <3

@ask-fucking-bendy AND I KEEP FIGHTING OVER WHICH SHIP IS BETTER IT’S OBVIOUS THICCY AND I  

https://strawpoll.com/wxe39e2

@ask-fucking-bendy AND I KEEP FIGHTING OVER WHICH SHIP IS BETTER IT’S OBVIOUS THICCY AND I  

https://strawpoll.com/wxe39e2

(I couldn’t include every screenshot showing what I did because there’s a limit to how many images I can add. So, here’s the link to all of the screenshots if you want to see them. You can find them here.)

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8tnqa5jgyywpbd5/AAAbVbaDZFd9AiMLc0uPmXR8a?dl=0

I lied and deceived all of you. I’ve been pretending to be something I’m not. I’ve been using Vile as an excuse to hurt people this entire time. To be verbally abusive to so many. I lied about being a system to my friends and everyone, acting as if I had alters. When I never did. I just didn’t want to accept that I did all of those things myself. That I could be so hateful and cruel. I used everything a friend told me about himself, some really deep personal stuff, to hurt him. Because I wanted to. I used and manipulated people through Vile and acted as if it was okay. i lied to some people who were trying to help me “get rid of Vile”, faking having alters to them, too. I lied about the whole situation, because I wanted it to be true. I wanted an explanation for why I wasn’t bothering to hold myself back. I tried blaming someone else, even though it was me doing everything. Never anyone else. Um, I have screenshots to show everything I did as well.

Where I lashed out in my anger to hurt my friend. Because I wanted to. I faked it being Vile’s fault, when that was all me. I did that to him and was verbally abusive in attacking him. I didn’t restrain myself even though I could have.

Where I lied to everyone in my server about Vile and Dire being alters of mine. They never were. It was all my doing, just rping as him to talk to people. I lied about the whole situation.

This person accused me of faking having alters, only rping as them. They were right, but, I lied to them about it. Making excuses about the whole thing.

I lied to my friend about it not being me who was responsible for saying what I did to him. Even when he asked me, I denied all of it. Because I didn’t want to believe I did that to him. I couldn’t accept I actually wanted to hurt him so bad. But, I did. I still lied to him and tried to act as if it wasn’t me, though. 

I lied to the people who were trying to help me “get rid of Vile”. I was just rping everything that happened. I never had any alters to get rid of or kill. I used these people and manipulated their trust.

@inkygoo and @ask-tinybendy

// I have tainted this server with biggie cheese WHAT HAVE I DONE

// Hey, Tiny’s mun here so i need to make over $50 dollars before the end of this month or my laptop will be taken away because there needs to be monthly payments on it to pay it off and i’ve applied to many places and i haven’t heard back from any of them and i won’t be able to keep this blog going if i don’t have this laptop. I won’t be able to draw or anything so i’m going to try to make the money through commissions. I don’t draw much as it is but here’s what i can offer

Not the best examples but these are my most recent icons but usually charge around $5-$10 for these

Giant full reference sheet, these take a while to complete so i would charge these around $20-$30 depending one the complexity of the character 

Any money donated i’ll do a small doodle for to show my appreciation ;w;