I am a lamp.

((simon wishes you to know he is eternally grateful for your kind word and will return soon))

((hello friends have you missed me))

Simon: I do not understand what is so incredible about this.

Simon: It would be requested and advised that said action is an unfortunately upsetting idea and would not be welcomed.

Simon: As a lamp, if the bulb were to burn out, I would simply request a new one. As long as I was plugged in, I could function adequately. 

Simon: If you are inquiring about my physical and mental states of mind, I am quite well, thank you. I recently took a leave of absence from this place to calm myself, after my last encounter with the “nightbloggers.” I have returned, but I do not know how long I will be staying.

Simon: Perhaps the last question will suffice. I do not recall any particularly “amazing” parts of my conscious.

Simon: If you are implying what I think you are, yes and no. As a lamp, I was in whatever room I was placed, so I observed many things…after hours. In my time as a humanoid being, I have not invaded anyone’s privacy.

Simon: The name's Simon. You look kinda familar, though. Who're you?

Simon: Sup man you're not so bad yourself. [He winks.]

Simon: Haha who needs fancy words when you've got a face like mine?

Simon: …I would inquire as to why you are doing this?

Simon: I…thank you?