Perry the Platypus

@ask-perrytheplatypus

Hello everyone, I am Perry the Platypus, or as I'm known at OWCA, (Organization Without a Cool Acronym) Agent P. I'm a secret agent (Shh! Don't tell anyone!) 1500 pages and counting! var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5302251"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=Slider&e2=Sliders&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

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(Aradia sees Starlord) Aradia: Hi! I'm Aradia! Starlord: I'm StarLord. Aradia: Cool name!

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(Pumpkin and StarLord go to Pumpkin's house. Pumpkin is greeted by Aradia) Aradia: MOMMY!!!!! (She jumps into Pumpkin's arms) Aradia: You're home! :)

Pumpkin: hey kiddo (pats head)

Starlord: Hiya. Matthew: Hey, guys. What are you doing on Earth? Rocket: Quill came to see Pumpkin. I came to see you. Matthew: Okay. Pumpkin, you and Quill head over to your place. Rocket and I will head over to my place.

Pumpkin: (smorks at Peter)

Pumpkin: Who could that be? Matthew: Probably scout needing me to chaaaaa-nevermind. (He goes to the door and opens it)

Gamora: My apologies. (They plot a course for Earth and hyper jump there. Meanwhile, Matthew and Pumpkin are back on Earth already) Matthew: Man, I hope we get to see the Guardians again soon.

(Knock at door)

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Rocket: Sounds good. (They go up to the bridge) StarLord: Plot a course for Earth. Drax: News of Thanos or Ronan there? Gamora: No. Quill probably just wants to see his new girlfriend again.

Peter: she’s not a girl, she’s nonbinary, Gamora.

StarLord: Well... would you like to go and see him again sometime? Rocket: Yeah. I would. He lives on Earth right? So we can go there anytime.

Starlord: ...how about now (suspicious tone that sounds like he got other reasons to go to earth)

Rocket: Something with souls. It just felt like we were closer than any bond. As if he and I were the same person. Well, more than the fact that we were a fusion at the time...

(Meanwhile, Rocket is tinkering in the Milano thinking over what happened. StarLord sees him) StarLord: Something up, Rocket? Rocket: Oh, hey, Quill. StarLord: What? No clever quip? Practical joke? Is something wrong? Rocket: It's just... When I fused with Matthew... I felt something. Like we were connected somehow. I can't explain it.

Starlord: like...soulmates orrrr??? what do you mean

Matthew: Yeah. While we were merged, I could feel it. I am him and he is me. He's my raccoon duplicate.

Pumpkin: wow cool!

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whynotzoidbergdotorg

Hey y’all I’m the one with the racist father from a few months back who threatened to institutionalize me here with an update to my situation

So he got a new job offer and if he takes it we’re going to be forced to move to Qatar for upwards to a decade.

This is a problem because I’m bisexual and nb and they aren’t exactly that friendly to lgbt individuals.

So now I have to move out ASAP. I’ve made barely 200 dollars, which isn’t nearly enough for me to live off of.

So it’s absolutely URGENT that I move out, so if you can help me that’s really be great

I’m working on content for my patreon, designs for my redbubble, and I’m finishing up my last commission, so pls, if you can, help me. Every little bit helps, and I really don’t want to move to a country where I’m going to be even more oppressed until I’m almost 30, since my mental health about being closeted is already bad enough.

Matthew: The second thing is I found out something about him. Pumpkin: What? Matthew: He's me.

Pumpkin: oh, really?

Matthew: While you got that, I got two things from Rocket. First, I got these. (Matthew pulls a pair of Rocket's tighty whities out of his pocket. Rocket's name is printed on the front in alien writing) Pumpkin: Ew. Why'd you get those? Matthew: You have your thing. I have mine.

Pumpkin:..okay...

(They finish up with the Guardians and go back to the TARDIS) Pumpkin: Man. That was some adventure. Matthew: I saw you got StarLord's number back there.

Pumpkin: ...how could i not? hes so...manly *giggles*

Rocket: Of course now I'll actually understand Quill's Earth stories now that I've seen your memories in my head. Thanks... Matthew: And now I've got yours and you've already been to Earth. You ran around New York City in your underwear. StarLord: (snorts) You did what??? Rocket: Thanks. Now I'm never gonna hear the end of that.

Pumpkin: slight snicker)

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(They all exit the ship victorious) Mocket: Well, that was fun. Pumpkin: So, are you two like, merged forever now like me? Mocket: Hmm... Let's find out. I'll try to unfuse. (He concentrates and turns into light. He then splits into two forms. The two forms solidfy) Matthew: Guess not.

Pumpkin: Daang.

Davros: NO!!!! (Mocket hits the button. Davros and every Dalek disappears in a flash of sparkles) StarLord: What did you two do? Mocket: Oh, nothin' much. Just activated their Emergency Temporal Shift function. We won't be seeing hem around for the next thousand years or so.

Pumpkin: laugh

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