So, what has Ives been up too lately?
Uuurgh... hmphfff... hello?
“Yeah hello I need to speak to some fockin’ ‘Colonel’ or something. "
Yes you’ve... who’s this?
“Jest put the fockin’ Colonel on the phone will ye?”
Colonel Ives speaking, who are you and what do you want?
“OH thank God! Look, me boss told me to call ye if some shite happened and ‘some shite’ happened if ye know what I mean?”
“Do ye think I’m fockin’ stupid? I won’t tell ye on the phone but I’m on a job for M. Devine and some ‘SHITE’ happened and I really need tae do something about it and quick before tae ga-”
Well well, I didn’t know Daniel hired people has mouthy as he! No wonder you failed your job.
“Oi! Hang on, I didn’t fockin’ fail my job, I never said I fockin’ failed my job it’s just that some shite happened and-”
Oh just shut up and bring your ‘shite’ to me. I’ll see what I can do.
“Actually we’re already at the front door.”
The Colonel has been quite busy during the past month/year, dealing first with a very pregnant Hiero, his growing fondness for MacAvoy and then his two little pups. Twins they were and with Hierophant being physically unable to stop killing for two damn seconds and MacAvoy being busy with the church, Ives would become a stay-at-home dad and take care of the kids. Besides, being at home at all time meant he now had more time for his little evidence clearing business with the government, business he later extended to the Mob! Oh please, the government doesn’t have to know everything.
The pups where growing fast, too fast for Ives who would rather have them stay little and bright eyed all their lives. They are his pride and joy as far as he is concerned. With his growing pack, Francis is the happiest he has ever been in a very, very long time.
So? What do we have here?
“Just some sad fock who thought he could fool me, but I showed him.”
Yes, you sure did. And now the entire car is a mess. As you are.
“Yes and I really need to be home in two hours or I’ll miss the game so if ye could please stop bitchin’, do yer fockin’ job and let me do mine, we’ll-”
You will keep your voice down. The children are sleeping.
And you will be very, very polite with me and you will handle me ‘bitching’ if it’s what you must do to be back home in time for your stupid game. Unless you want me to tell M. Devine that you killed the man who owed him over 10 000 dollars BEFORE he could pay up.
And you will call me Colonel... and that is all.
“Uuuuuurgh! Ah! Ye’re fockin’ insane!”
Good! Now strip. I’ll get you some other clothes. You will get cleaned up in this shower here. Limit your movements to a minimum in here, I want to make sure you leave as very little behind as possible.
“Yeah ok. Ok. Thank ye. And fer yer information, the client didn’t pay up, but he did tell me wheREAAAAAAAAAAARGH-”
So yeah! That’s what Ivesey has been doing. Dissolving and burning evidences, butchering fresh corpses, feeding human flesh to his family and fucking his mates senseless in-between changing the kids’ diapers and singing lullabies.
A cold, calculative smooth bastard in a robe and silly ladybug slippers. Oh Ives! Don’t forget the baby monitor!
“I look like a fockin’ poof.”
You look like a man who has nothing to hide.
“What are ye going tae do with me clothes?”
“WOT? Ye can’t burn me clothes! Me jers-”
It’s that or you risk getting caught for your brashness.
“I’d take the risk anytime! Taking one for the team, eh?”
No. No I’m afraid, M. DeSouza, that I have to return you to M. Devine safe and sound.
Alas! You should have thought about it before you blew someone’s brain out in a small, enclosed space.
Aye. Very well then! Off you go, if you want to make it home in time for your game.
Take the car to this address. Tell the owner of the junkyard, Gaz, that the Colonel sent you. Don’t accept payment from him, I’ll know if you do. Tell him to take his boy somewhere nice instead. You go home any way you please for there. I’ll be expecting payment from M. Devine by the end of the week. Now if you’ll excuse me, a body to destroy.
“Oi! They said a lot af things about tae ‘colonel’, and I didnae believe most af them but I have tae admit, ye’re pretty good! Pretty good eh!”
Yes well even I can make less mess while killing someone than you, and that is saying something.
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