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Carl Bernstein

@ask-bernstein

Reporter for the Washington Post

102 posts

Mar 11

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Carl Bernstein from the Washington Post. If there are any burning questions that plague the masses, feel free to come to me or my accomplice: @ask-woodward.

Disclaimer: this is purely for fun.

#woodstein #carl bernstein #nixonposting #richard nixon #atpm

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Jun 3

hey kitten. do you want to do the bdsm (bondage, derivatives, & salacious mathematics)

Of course.

Find the derivative of f(x)=(x-2)/(x^2+3x-1). Go.

-x^2+4x+5/(x^2+3x-1)^2

That’s my good epsilon. Do you think you’re ready for something more? A new rule? Chains, perhaps?

I would love to be filled with more knowledge.

#i have no idea if this is correct but it looks right #<- stop squarking

Jun 3

hey kitten. do you want to do the bdsm (bondage, derivatives, & salacious mathematics)

Of course.

Find the derivative of f(x)=(x-2)/(x^2+3x-1). Go.

-x^2+4x+5/(x^2+3x-1)^2

Jun 3

hey kitten. do you want to do the bdsm (bondage, derivatives, & salacious mathematics)

Of course.

Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

Do you and the source have a conflict of interest 🤨

Of course not! I just highly agree with the source’s sentiment.

The same way you don’t have a conflict of interest with Benedict Arnold?

Just because we all have great hair doesn’t mean there’s a conflict of interest!

I spy some pretty major conflicts of interests…

What do you mean “short, rat, pathetic, whimper?”

Are you asking for a demonstration

*?

You need to add a question mark.

What if it isn’t a question. Kitten.

Then you would need a period or exclamation mark. Captain.

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

Do you and the source have a conflict of interest 🤨

Of course not! I just highly agree with the source’s sentiment.

The same way you don’t have a conflict of interest with Benedict Arnold?

Just because we all have great hair doesn’t mean there’s a conflict of interest!

I spy some pretty major conflicts of interests…

What do you mean “short, rat, pathetic, whimper?”

Are you asking for a demonstration

*?

You need to add a question mark.

Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

Do you and the source have a conflict of interest 🤨

Of course not! I just highly agree with the source’s sentiment.

The same way you don’t have a conflict of interest with Benedict Arnold?

Just because we all have great hair doesn’t mean there’s a conflict of interest!

I spy some pretty major conflicts of interests…

What do you mean “short, rat, pathetic, whimper?”

Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

Do you and the source have a conflict of interest 🤨

Of course not! I just highly agree with the source’s sentiment.

The same way you don’t have a conflict of interest with Benedict Arnold?

Just because we all have great hair doesn’t mean there’s a conflict of interest!

Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

Do you and the source have a conflict of interest 🤨

Of course not! I just highly agree with the source’s sentiment.

Jun 3

shah4139-offical

@satan-offical do all British people shag trout or is that just you

It's a regular British activity

...The more time passes, the more I realize I dodged a bullet when my relationship with Paul McCartney didn't work out.

#sometimes when people saw ‘Paul McCartney’ I immediately think of Joe McCarthy #they’re two very different people

SweetDream.ai • Live Cam

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Jun 3

“I think if you ran a lesbian over with a pickup truck, a Ford….and gave them bad fashion sense, and a concussion because they were run over by a Ford, I think you would get George W. Bush”

The sources are speaking in riddles :(

I think the sources may be onto something.

#important journalism #carl bernstein #george w bush

Jun 3

seren-starlight

They're rebuilding him

@jfk-update have you heard about this???

Maybe we’ll finally have some new updates

#important news!!#jfkposting #jfkblogging #jfk

steampunkvampireworm

Jun 3

I’m still searching for the “it’s pride month Henry you know what that means” “vat, do you vant us to gay war crimes”

I FOUND IT

#beautiful #pride month ‼️#nixonposting

Jun 1

Would you be a darling and find the derivative of 6x^7+3x^4-6x^3-5x for me?

42x^6+12x^3-18x^2-5

#am I a good boy? 🥺

Jun 1

Is this and the Woodward account run by the same person or are the arguments entirely natural

The Woodward account is run by my boyfriend so the arguments are essentially natural.

No they’re run by the same person. He wishes he had a boyfriend, but I am just a figment of his imagination.

I’m going to take you to the Base Pro Shops pyramid.

SweetDream.ai • Live Cam

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Jun 1

Doomed president yoai

#important news I think #happy pride #rmn #jfk #richard nixon #nixonposting #jfkposting

Jun 1

Is this and the Woodward account run by the same person or are the arguments entirely natural

The Woodward account is run by my boyfriend so the arguments are essentially natural.

Carl Bernstein @ask-bernstein - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook