proud, hurt, indomitable

grizabella took a seat next to skimble, she felt so . . charmed recently, her mind had been on an older tom, one that she couldn’t help but think of all the time. “i . . i’ve fallen in love.” she insisted, her paws gripped at the fur near her chest with a smile on her face. “with a handsome tom . .” she added. she was still surprised at who it was . . she was sure skimbleshanks would be too, but she was sure he’d be okay! it was all a fascinating subject for her. love, she hadn’t felt it in so long. she had been touched but she hadn’t been loved. there was a sparkle in her eyes. “his . . name is uh — ” she was nervous before speaking in a small voice, as if she was a kitten. “growltiger.” a pirate, of course she had. she was always so dreamy about them as a kitten.

Love! Of course, that would be it. Skimbleshanks hung on her words, eager to hear who the lucky tom was. It was about time the tribe started to get over themselves. An excited smiled was plastered on his face. Until it wasn’t. There wasn’t much that could trip up Skimbleshanks, but hearing a dead legendary cat’s name was one of them. Slowly, he tilted his head, “I think I misheard you. Did you say Growltiger? Were his parents fans of the story?” Tumblebrutus’ name came from one of his shipmates, if Skimbleshanks recalled correctly, but it was unusual to hear the name of the pirate himself. Most assumed it would be disrespectful to the pirate’s particular name. Which could only mean one thing… One thing that would very hard to believe. 

“he made the stories.” she corrected and gave skimble a smile. she knew it was growltiger. “he’s missing an eye, one of his ears are gone. it’s growltiger! i know it is.” she insisted and her eyes were on skimble. they were bright and still full of love from the older pirate. he was romantic . . she thought he was s o romantic - charmed to simply speak to him. she thought about how he kissed her hand, and he called her beautiful! she could only imagine it in her head now. “and he’s romantic.” she added on and her face was leaning in on her paws. her eyes closed to imagine it all again. love! she’d never gone through it. she always assumed she missed her chance but . . she hadn’t! she knew she hadn’t. especially with how growltiger was sweet on her. it was different for her now. she could finally have . . a life. be together for the rest of time. she was obviously getting too far ahead herself but . . no one could stop her from dreaming.

If Skimbleshanks had been drinking tea, he would have spat it out. Instead, he settled for resting a paw to his forehead and running the tips of fingers up it as he felt an oncoming headache. On second though, he could go for that tea. He needed something to wet his whistle. He shook his head slowly, “Part of me wants to tell ya it can’t be him, but ya came back from the Heaviside yaself. Though, I doubt he ever even saw the Heaviside…” Skimbleshanks had never found the tale of Growltiger a pleasing one. It was hard to know a man and if love really changed him through verses and song. The yellow tabby tucked his book under his arm, “Let’s head into my den. We’ll have some tea and talk more on. How about that?”

“well, if you stopped me, why would i listen?” she chuckled cheekily and smiled at skimble and wrapped her arm around his free one. “if i am to be in love i can’t listen to reason. i listen to my heart! thank you.” she giggled and lead him over to his den, looking over at him as they walked. “what’s the point of finding happiness if i’m stopped?” she also brought up. she was starting to find her smile again, she was cleaned up and felt better. she was no longer messy or limping as much and her scar had been properly cleaned finally, it all felt clearer from now on. and she found a tom that made her heart warm absolutely so much — even if it had been growltiger, as he claimed. she believed him, there was no way it could be anyone but him! especially with how he looked. “he was kind to me.” she added on, maybe a small bit of reassurance for her friend.

He patted her arm and sighed, “I’m not goin’ ta stop ya, I just want ta talk.” Still, it was nice to see her smiling and if this Growltiger made her happy… well, first and foremost, he wanted to make sure she was safe. He lead her to a seat in his den and began to make them both tea. For awhile, he stared at the whiskey on his shelf. Despite the fact that he usually didn’t like to drink in moments like these, he had a feeling he would need it. He hummed as he waited for the kettle, “You’ll have to bring this Growltiger to meet us… You know that Victoria is part Siamese, correct?” Part of him wanted to doubt it was the pirate, but that would make the other cat a liar and not suitable for Grizabella at all. 

“well, did you ever listen to the song? it says he hates persians but then he’s with griddlebone, a persian! he obviously doesn’t feel that way anymore.” she said, she knew every word to the song, every note. she always loved it, she found it heartbreaking, she loved the tune and the story. “that’s what i remember, don’t you? i know you never quite liked the song, but i know every word!” she said simply and gave skimble a grin. he looked over at skimbleshanks with a stubborn expression. “and, if he hated foreign cats . . i’m abyssinian.” she acknowledged too. she didn’t understand how skimbleshanks couldn’t realize any of this. she guessed he was being protective, she was lucky she remembered. she looked for the best in people, she wanted to see people grow, and she felt as if she saw it every ball with that song. she also . . had always found the pirate story quite . . intriguing!

The kettle whistled and Skimbleshanks poured its contents into two cups, adding a bit of whiskey to his. He put the the bottle next to Grizabella to add as she liked. The queen was not Rumpleteazer– as much as he might like to, he wasn’t about to control how strong she made her drink. A soft sigh escaped her, “That’s not actually in the song you know. The legends say she was Persian… And Gus’ theater loves to embellish.” The yellow tabby had gone as far as to read a written version of the song the legend came from. If this was Growltiger she was seeing, it did make him nervous. Cats of foreign race, indeed. He shook his head, “I’m just worried about ya. Ya’ve been healin’ up really nice, I’d hate to see someone…ruin that. Will ya put this old cat’s mind at ease and let him meet this so-called Growltiger?”

"she was a persian, i asked." grizabella stated. she made sure to be able to get all the answers she was looking for. "embellish, maybe . . but he did tell me she was a persian." she added, looking at skimble as she started to sip at her tea. "of course, he said he wanted to meet my . . well, i called you family." she laughed, it was embarrassing to admit out loud. she didn’t want to tell him that but . . she would, she hoped skimble wouldn’t get upset by the notion. "he . . he doesn’t know me, or my past, or the song i . . i like it that way." she insisted. her past was twists and turns and an embarrassing song that rung in her ears and reminded her of everything. when demeter sung it . . she felt the care coming off of her, she felt warmed . . when everyone joined in . . it felt, demeaning and cold.

grizabella took a seat next to skimble, she felt so . . charmed recently, her mind had been on an older tom, one that she couldn’t help but think of all the time. “i . . i’ve fallen in love.” she insisted, her paws gripped at the fur near her chest with a smile on her face. “with a handsome tom . .” she added. she was still surprised at who it was . . she was sure skimbleshanks would be too, but she was sure he’d be okay! it was all a fascinating subject for her. love, she hadn’t felt it in so long. she had been touched but she hadn’t been loved. there was a sparkle in her eyes. “his . . name is uh — ” she was nervous before speaking in a small voice, as if she was a kitten. “growltiger.” a pirate, of course she had. she was always so dreamy about them as a kitten.

Love! Of course, that would be it. Skimbleshanks hung on her words, eager to hear who the lucky tom was. It was about time the tribe started to get over themselves. An excited smiled was plastered on his face. Until it wasn’t. There wasn’t much that could trip up Skimbleshanks, but hearing a dead legendary cat’s name was one of them. Slowly, he tilted his head, “I think I misheard you. Did you say Growltiger? Were his parents fans of the story?” Tumblebrutus’ name came from one of his shipmates, if Skimbleshanks recalled correctly, but it was unusual to hear the name of the pirate himself. Most assumed it would be disrespectful to the pirate’s particular name. Which could only mean one thing… One thing that would very hard to believe. 

“he made the stories.” she corrected and gave skimble a smile. she knew it was growltiger. “he’s missing an eye, one of his ears are gone. it’s growltiger! i know it is.” she insisted and her eyes were on skimble. they were bright and still full of love from the older pirate. he was romantic . . she thought he was s o romantic - charmed to simply speak to him. she thought about how he kissed her hand, and he called her beautiful! she could only imagine it in her head now. “and he’s romantic.” she added on and her face was leaning in on her paws. her eyes closed to imagine it all again. love! she’d never gone through it. she always assumed she missed her chance but . . she hadn’t! she knew she hadn’t. especially with how growltiger was sweet on her. it was different for her now. she could finally have . . a life. be together for the rest of time. she was obviously getting too far ahead herself but . . no one could stop her from dreaming.

If Skimbleshanks had been drinking tea, he would have spat it out. Instead, he settled for resting a paw to his forehead and running the tips of fingers up it as he felt an oncoming headache. On second though, he could go for that tea. He needed something to wet his whistle. He shook his head slowly, “Part of me wants to tell ya it can’t be him, but ya came back from the Heaviside yaself. Though, I doubt he ever even saw the Heaviside…” Skimbleshanks had never found the tale of Growltiger a pleasing one. It was hard to know a man and if love really changed him through verses and song. The yellow tabby tucked his book under his arm, “Let’s head into my den. We’ll have some tea and talk more on. How about that?”

“well, if you stopped me, why would i listen?” she chuckled cheekily and smiled at skimble and wrapped her arm around his free one. “if i am to be in love i can’t listen to reason. i listen to my heart! thank you.” she giggled and lead him over to his den, looking over at him as they walked. “what’s the point of finding happiness if i’m stopped?” she also brought up. she was starting to find her smile again, she was cleaned up and felt better. she was no longer messy or limping as much and her scar had been properly cleaned finally, it all felt clearer from now on. and she found a tom that made her heart warm absolutely so much — even if it had been growltiger, as he claimed. she believed him, there was no way it could be anyone but him! especially with how he looked. “he was kind to me.” she added on, maybe a small bit of reassurance for her friend.

He patted her arm and sighed, “I’m not goin’ ta stop ya, I just want ta talk.” Still, it was nice to see her smiling and if this Growltiger made her happy… well, first and foremost, he wanted to make sure she was safe. He lead her to a seat in his den and began to make them both tea. For awhile, he stared at the whiskey on his shelf. Despite the fact that he usually didn’t like to drink in moments like these, he had a feeling he would need it. He hummed as he waited for the kettle, “You’ll have to bring this Growltiger to meet us… You know that Victoria is part Siamese, correct?” Part of him wanted to doubt it was the pirate, but that would make the other cat a liar and not suitable for Grizabella at all. 

"well, did you ever listen to the song? it says he hates persians but then he’s with griddlebone, a persian! he obviously doesn’t feel that way anymore." she said, she knew every word to the song, every note. she always loved it, she found it heartbreaking, she loved the tune and the story. "that’s what i remember, don’t you? i know you never quite liked the song, but i know every word!" she said simply and gave skimble a grin. he looked over at skimbleshanks with a stubborn expression. "and, if he hated foreign cats . . i’m abyssinian." she acknowledged too. she didn’t understand how skimbleshanks couldn’t realize any of this. she guessed he was being protective, she was lucky she remembered. she looked for the best in people, she wanted to see people grow, and she felt as if she saw it every ball with that song. she also . . had always found the pirate story quite . . intriguing!

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

“Not at all dear, I did die though. I know you probably wont believe me but I came back, I was in a bright white space and told it wasn't my time and now im here.” Its been... a while since that all happened. Oh I can prove it alright!” He says before taking off his eye patch, showing the scar on his missing eye. He blushes a bit at her compliment “Why thank you! Of course I can say the same for you but sweet would be an understatement you are being unbelievably kind, a few of the locals have been very rude.”.  

grizabella took a good look at his eye and nodded. "i guess i believe you. quite a handsome scar on you." she complimented sweetly. "i have a scar, but it’s down my forehead." she moved her paw to point at it. it was a bad one but she was happy it was finally healing. "so . . you died but you came back? i . . i can say, strangely, i relate to that." she admitted with a small smile. "with jellicles . . i was up in the heaviside layer, but . . i came back down." she admitted with a small head tilt. "didn’t think i’d ever relate to a pirate. at least you’re a handsome pirate." she giggled lightly and gave him a small salute, just her joking around as her arms went to relax at her sides. he wasn’t quite the suspicious character in her mind anymore. simply a tom — older then her but, quite intriguing at the same time.

He give a smile at the compliment and looks at her scar, It looks new and pretty bad but healed well. “Really? I’ve never met anyone who went though the same thing..” Another compliment? This honestly hasn't happened since he was with Griddlebone. He gave out a hearty laugh and gave a playful salute back “Well thank you. You truly are beautiful, in personality and looks.” She was younger than him, how many years he couldn't tell but it couldn't be too much younger. 

"oh, hush, you might charm me." she giggled, she felt like a kitten, all flushed and grinning. "i’m not truly used to being so happy. i feel like my luck is just adding up, i’ll have you to blame for that. compliments from such a handsome tom. haven’t had that in so long." since most toms avoided her, found her repulsive, she had a past to her. "most hiss my name." she admitted, she was seen as too old for her age, and used up. she truly wanted to find something, something more to hold onto, and growltiger peaked her interest and made her feel more loved then she had in a long time, and they hadn’t even been talking for too long. "i can reveal something’s of myself, i’m a jellicle cat. telling cats that, they always think i’m strange." she chuckled at the thought.

Growltiger is grinning from ear to ear and gives out a laugh “Well I guess I have to say the same thing about myself, its been a long while sense anything good has come my way but I’m sure as hell glad you’re here” He isn't going to tell her of course, but he already feels something. He knows he feels something which, honestly is very typical of him hes always been the type to fall hard and fast. “They hiss your name? Why would they hiss the name of the most beautiful queen in England? Oh! Whats that like, being a jellicle cat?” 

"oh that’s quite a long story . . it involves a cat around here. i should inform you to stay away from the mystery cat . . macavity." she simply uttered. she wouldn’t explain further but the cat gave growltiger a smile as she thought of a way to explain the jellicles. through the deep flush on her face — she was distracted. "being a jellicle cat? oh . . well . . i can say it’s quite magical. we have a ball every year, usually a cat is offered to the heaviside layer . . for a new life. it was supposed to be me, you see. i didn’t go." she sighed. "i saw it but . . i wanted more time. i ran off, the jellicles didn’t quite like me, since i had left a while ago, but, i found a family there again. taking care of two kittens now, and i’ve practically gotten adopted myself." she laughed as she explained. she thought it was quite silly but . . home.

“By any chance is he ginger? If he is hes only spoken to be once.A real git that one, ugly little fucker too. Oh I’m sorry pardon my language.” Hes really not used to taking to anyone but himself for the last few years, well except for this one very old tom in the back of the pub hes one of the only nice toms hes talked to. “Wow, that honestly sounds wonderful, I had something like that on the  barge.” She has kittens? Of course he would never admit it to himself but hes always wanted kits, it was awfully hard to on the barge but him and Griddebone wanted to but... Never really got to it. “Kits?! That’s great! I hope they’re no trouble!”

"he’s got bright red hair, you can see his bones." she laughed along with him. she’d never admit that macavity’s brother was . . well, her own son. it was a strange concept for her still, but she gave growltiger a smile. "oh, the kittens are wonderful! and sweet, pouncival and tumblebrutus." she giggled, oh she loved having a family! she had dreamed of it for so long. "they argue plenty, they are brothers, but they’re incredibly sweet, and they love to cuddle." she laughed again. "never thought a pirate would be so excited about kittens! how sweet." she laughed and grabbed one of his paws lightly. "are you truly just a charming sweetheart? they don’t leave it out of your story."

"Tumblebrutus?! Small world, I had a ship mate named tumblebrutus!" He hasn't heard that name in what seemed like forever "They sound wonderful!" they truly did, there's something so wonderful about kits. They don't have to worry, they don't have to care, He wishes he could go back to his younger days. Growltiger laughs "The barge was lonely sometimes, I've always wished I've gotten around to having kits." He's very flustered but is trying to hold his composure, he lightly holds her paw back, trying not to grab too hard because he really doesn't want to hurt her. "I'm sure they won't leave how lovely you truly are out of your story too."

"oh, did you?" she giggled, she didn’t realize a name so unique could be shared by t w o toms! it was quite different. she wouldn’t question it too much but . . it was strange to think of. it was a strange concept for her. "ah, i always wanted kits too . . i had one very young. i ran when i did, i’m . . i’m working on talking to him again!" something about growltiger made her feel more . . open with everything she said, it was true, she was able to speak to tugger, explain herself. she hoped it would keep getting better and better. she wanted everything to be happy again. "i . . i guess you’re not wrong. i do have a song, grizabella the glamour cat. it feels condescending when too many people sing it." she laughed out softly. she knew demeter meant it in a sweet way — she went far back with the skittish queen. "i’m sure it wouldn’t if it were you." she laughed and jokingly hummed the tune to his story.

grizabella took a seat next to skimble, she felt so . . charmed recently, her mind had been on an older tom, one that she couldn’t help but think of all the time. “i . . i’ve fallen in love.” she insisted, her paws gripped at the fur near her chest with a smile on her face. “with a handsome tom . .” she added. she was still surprised at who it was . . she was sure skimbleshanks would be too, but she was sure he’d be okay! it was all a fascinating subject for her. love, she hadn’t felt it in so long. she had been touched but she hadn’t been loved. there was a sparkle in her eyes. “his . . name is uh — ” she was nervous before speaking in a small voice, as if she was a kitten. “growltiger.” a pirate, of course she had. she was always so dreamy about them as a kitten.

Love! Of course, that would be it. Skimbleshanks hung on her words, eager to hear who the lucky tom was. It was about time the tribe started to get over themselves. An excited smiled was plastered on his face. Until it wasn’t. There wasn’t much that could trip up Skimbleshanks, but hearing a dead legendary cat’s name was one of them. Slowly, he tilted his head, “I think I misheard you. Did you say Growltiger? Were his parents fans of the story?” Tumblebrutus’ name came from one of his shipmates, if Skimbleshanks recalled correctly, but it was unusual to hear the name of the pirate himself. Most assumed it would be disrespectful to the pirate’s particular name. Which could only mean one thing… One thing that would very hard to believe. 

“he made the stories.” she corrected and gave skimble a smile. she knew it was growltiger. “he’s missing an eye, one of his ears are gone. it’s growltiger! i know it is.” she insisted and her eyes were on skimble. they were bright and still full of love from the older pirate. he was romantic . . she thought he was s o romantic - charmed to simply speak to him. she thought about how he kissed her hand, and he called her beautiful! she could only imagine it in her head now. “and he’s romantic.” she added on and her face was leaning in on her paws. her eyes closed to imagine it all again. love! she’d never gone through it. she always assumed she missed her chance but . . she hadn’t! she knew she hadn’t. especially with how growltiger was sweet on her. it was different for her now. she could finally have . . a life. be together for the rest of time. she was obviously getting too far ahead herself but . . no one could stop her from dreaming.

If Skimbleshanks had been drinking tea, he would have spat it out. Instead, he settled for resting a paw to his forehead and running the tips of fingers up it as he felt an oncoming headache. On second though, he could go for that tea. He needed something to wet his whistle. He shook his head slowly, “Part of me wants to tell ya it can’t be him, but ya came back from the Heaviside yaself. Though, I doubt he ever even saw the Heaviside…” Skimbleshanks had never found the tale of Growltiger a pleasing one. It was hard to know a man and if love really changed him through verses and song. The yellow tabby tucked his book under his arm, “Let’s head into my den. We’ll have some tea and talk more on. How about that?”

"well, if you stopped me, why would i listen?" she chuckled cheekily and smiled at skimble and wrapped her arm around his free one. "if i am to be in love i can’t listen to reason. i listen to my heart! thank you." she giggled and lead him over to his den, looking over at him as they walked. "what’s the point of finding happiness if i’m stopped?" she also brought up. she was starting to find her smile again, she was cleaned up and felt better. she was no longer messy or limping as much and her scar had been properly cleaned finally, it all felt clearer from now on. and she found a tom that made her heart warm absolutely so much — even if it had been growltiger, as he claimed. she believed him, there was no way it could be anyone but him! especially with how he looked. "he was kind to me." she added on, maybe a small bit of reassurance for her friend.

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

“Not at all dear, I did die though. I know you probably wont believe me but I came back, I was in a bright white space and told it wasn't my time and now im here.” Its been... a while since that all happened. Oh I can prove it alright!” He says before taking off his eye patch, showing the scar on his missing eye. He blushes a bit at her compliment “Why thank you! Of course I can say the same for you but sweet would be an understatement you are being unbelievably kind, a few of the locals have been very rude.”.  

grizabella took a good look at his eye and nodded. "i guess i believe you. quite a handsome scar on you." she complimented sweetly. "i have a scar, but it’s down my forehead." she moved her paw to point at it. it was a bad one but she was happy it was finally healing. "so . . you died but you came back? i . . i can say, strangely, i relate to that." she admitted with a small smile. "with jellicles . . i was up in the heaviside layer, but . . i came back down." she admitted with a small head tilt. "didn’t think i’d ever relate to a pirate. at least you’re a handsome pirate." she giggled lightly and gave him a small salute, just her joking around as her arms went to relax at her sides. he wasn’t quite the suspicious character in her mind anymore. simply a tom — older then her but, quite intriguing at the same time.

He give a smile at the compliment and looks at her scar, It looks new and pretty bad but healed well. “Really? I’ve never met anyone who went though the same thing..” Another compliment? This honestly hasn't happened since he was with Griddlebone. He gave out a hearty laugh and gave a playful salute back “Well thank you. You truly are beautiful, in personality and looks.” She was younger than him, how many years he couldn't tell but it couldn't be too much younger. 

"oh, hush, you might charm me." she giggled, she felt like a kitten, all flushed and grinning. "i’m not truly used to being so happy. i feel like my luck is just adding up, i’ll have you to blame for that. compliments from such a handsome tom. haven’t had that in so long." since most toms avoided her, found her repulsive, she had a past to her. "most hiss my name." she admitted, she was seen as too old for her age, and used up. she truly wanted to find something, something more to hold onto, and growltiger peaked her interest and made her feel more loved then she had in a long time, and they hadn’t even been talking for too long. "i can reveal something’s of myself, i’m a jellicle cat. telling cats that, they always think i’m strange." she chuckled at the thought.

Growltiger is grinning from ear to ear and gives out a laugh “Well I guess I have to say the same thing about myself, its been a long while sense anything good has come my way but I’m sure as hell glad you’re here” He isn't going to tell her of course, but he already feels something. He knows he feels something which, honestly is very typical of him hes always been the type to fall hard and fast. “They hiss your name? Why would they hiss the name of the most beautiful queen in England? Oh! Whats that like, being a jellicle cat?” 

"oh that’s quite a long story . . it involves a cat around here. i should inform you to stay away from the mystery cat . . macavity." she simply uttered. she wouldn’t explain further but the cat gave growltiger a smile as she thought of a way to explain the jellicles. through the deep flush on her face — she was distracted. "being a jellicle cat? oh . . well . . i can say it’s quite magical. we have a ball every year, usually a cat is offered to the heaviside layer . . for a new life. it was supposed to be me, you see. i didn’t go." she sighed. "i saw it but . . i wanted more time. i ran off, the jellicles didn’t quite like me, since i had left a while ago, but, i found a family there again. taking care of two kittens now, and i’ve practically gotten adopted myself." she laughed as she explained. she thought it was quite silly but . . home.

“By any chance is he ginger? If he is hes only spoken to be once.A real git that one, ugly little fucker too. Oh I’m sorry pardon my language.” Hes really not used to taking to anyone but himself for the last few years, well except for this one very old tom in the back of the pub hes one of the only nice toms hes talked to. “Wow, that honestly sounds wonderful, I had something like that on the  barge.” She has kittens? Of course he would never admit it to himself but hes always wanted kits, it was awfully hard to on the barge but him and Griddebone wanted to but... Never really got to it. “Kits?! That’s great! I hope they’re no trouble!”

"he’s got bright red hair, you can see his bones." she laughed along with him. she’d never admit that macavity’s brother was . . well, her own son. it was a strange concept for her still, but she gave growltiger a smile. "oh, the kittens are wonderful! and sweet, pouncival and tumblebrutus." she giggled, oh she loved having a family! she had dreamed of it for so long. "they argue plenty, they are brothers, but they’re incredibly sweet, and they love to cuddle." she laughed again. "never thought a pirate would be so excited about kittens! how sweet." she laughed and grabbed one of his paws lightly. "are you truly just a charming sweetheart? they don’t leave it out of your story."

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

“Not at all dear, I did die though. I know you probably wont believe me but I came back, I was in a bright white space and told it wasn't my time and now im here.” Its been... a while since that all happened. Oh I can prove it alright!” He says before taking off his eye patch, showing the scar on his missing eye. He blushes a bit at her compliment “Why thank you! Of course I can say the same for you but sweet would be an understatement you are being unbelievably kind, a few of the locals have been very rude.”.  

grizabella took a good look at his eye and nodded. "i guess i believe you. quite a handsome scar on you." she complimented sweetly. "i have a scar, but it’s down my forehead." she moved her paw to point at it. it was a bad one but she was happy it was finally healing. "so . . you died but you came back? i . . i can say, strangely, i relate to that." she admitted with a small smile. "with jellicles . . i was up in the heaviside layer, but . . i came back down." she admitted with a small head tilt. "didn’t think i’d ever relate to a pirate. at least you’re a handsome pirate." she giggled lightly and gave him a small salute, just her joking around as her arms went to relax at her sides. he wasn’t quite the suspicious character in her mind anymore. simply a tom — older then her but, quite intriguing at the same time.

He give a smile at the compliment and looks at her scar, It looks new and pretty bad but healed well. “Really? I’ve never met anyone who went though the same thing..” Another compliment? This honestly hasn't happened since he was with Griddlebone. He gave out a hearty laugh and gave a playful salute back “Well thank you. You truly are beautiful, in personality and looks.” She was younger than him, how many years he couldn't tell but it couldn't be too much younger. 

"oh, hush, you might charm me." she giggled, she felt like a kitten, all flushed and grinning. "i’m not truly used to being so happy. i feel like my luck is just adding up, i’ll have you to blame for that. compliments from such a handsome tom. haven’t had that in so long." since most toms avoided her, found her repulsive, she had a past to her. "most hiss my name." she admitted, she was seen as too old for her age, and used up. she truly wanted to find something, something more to hold onto, and growltiger peaked her interest and made her feel more loved then she had in a long time, and they hadn’t even been talking for too long. "i can reveal something’s of myself, i’m a jellicle cat. telling cats that, they always think i’m strange." she chuckled at the thought.

Growltiger is grinning from ear to ear and gives out a laugh “Well I guess I have to say the same thing about myself, its been a long while sense anything good has come my way but I’m sure as hell glad you’re here” He isn't going to tell her of course, but he already feels something. He knows he feels something which, honestly is very typical of him hes always been the type to fall hard and fast. “They hiss your name? Why would they hiss the name of the most beautiful queen in England? Oh! Whats that like, being a jellicle cat?” 

"oh that’s quite a long story . . it involves a cat around here. i should inform you to stay away from the mystery cat . . macavity." she simply uttered. she wouldn’t explain further but the cat gave growltiger a smile as she thought of a way to explain the jellicles. through the deep flush on her face — she was distracted. "being a jellicle cat? oh . . well . . i can say it’s quite magical. we have a ball every year, usually a cat is offered to the heaviside layer . . for a new life. it was supposed to be me, you see. i didn’t go." she sighed. "i saw it but . . i wanted more time. i ran off, the jellicles didn’t quite like me, since i had left a while ago, but, i found a family there again. taking care of two kittens now, and i’ve practically gotten adopted myself." she laughed as she explained. she thought it was quite silly but . . home.

grizabella took a seat next to skimble, she felt so . . charmed recently, her mind had been on an older tom, one that she couldn’t help but think of all the time. “i . . i’ve fallen in love.” she insisted, her paws gripped at the fur near her chest with a smile on her face. “with a handsome tom . .” she added. she was still surprised at who it was . . she was sure skimbleshanks would be too, but she was sure he’d be okay! it was all a fascinating subject for her. love, she hadn’t felt it in so long. she had been touched but she hadn’t been loved. there was a sparkle in her eyes. “his . . name is uh — ” she was nervous before speaking in a small voice, as if she was a kitten. “growltiger.” a pirate, of course she had. she was always so dreamy about them as a kitten.

Love! Of course, that would be it. Skimbleshanks hung on her words, eager to hear who the lucky tom was. It was about time the tribe started to get over themselves. An excited smiled was plastered on his face. Until it wasn’t. There wasn’t much that could trip up Skimbleshanks, but hearing a dead legendary cat’s name was one of them. Slowly, he tilted his head, “I think I misheard you. Did you say Growltiger? Were his parents fans of the story?” Tumblebrutus’ name came from one of his shipmates, if Skimbleshanks recalled correctly, but it was unusual to hear the name of the pirate himself. Most assumed it would be disrespectful to the pirate’s particular name. Which could only mean one thing… One thing that would very hard to believe. 

"he made the stories." she corrected and gave skimble a smile. she knew it was growltiger. "he’s missing an eye, one of his ears are gone. it’s growltiger! i know it is." she insisted and her eyes were on skimble. they were bright and still full of love from the older pirate. he was romantic . . she thought he was s o romantic - charmed to simply speak to him. she thought about how he kissed her hand, and he called her beautiful! she could only imagine it in her head now. "and he’s romantic." she added on and her face was leaning in on her paws. her eyes closed to imagine it all again. love! she’d never gone through it. she always assumed she missed her chance but . . she hadn’t! she knew she hadn’t. especially with how growltiger was sweet on her. it was different for her now. she could finally have . . a life. be together for the rest of time. she was obviously getting too far ahead herself but . . no one could stop her from dreaming.

grizabella took a seat next to skimble, she felt so . . charmed recently, her mind had been on an older tom, one that she couldn’t help but think of all the time. "i . . i’ve fallen in love." she insisted, her paws gripped at the fur near her chest with a smile on her face. "with a handsome tom . ." she added. she was still surprised at who it was . . she was sure skimbleshanks would be too, but she was sure he’d be okay! it was all a fascinating subject for her. love, she hadn’t felt it in so long. she had been touched but she hadn’t been loved. there was a sparkle in her eyes. "his . . name is uh — " she was nervous before speaking in a small voice, as if she was a kitten. "growltiger." a pirate, of course she had. she was always so dreamy about them as a kitten.

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

“Not at all dear, I did die though. I know you probably wont believe me but I came back, I was in a bright white space and told it wasn't my time and now im here.” Its been... a while since that all happened. Oh I can prove it alright!” He says before taking off his eye patch, showing the scar on his missing eye. He blushes a bit at her compliment “Why thank you! Of course I can say the same for you but sweet would be an understatement you are being unbelievably kind, a few of the locals have been very rude.”.  

grizabella took a good look at his eye and nodded. "i guess i believe you. quite a handsome scar on you." she complimented sweetly. "i have a scar, but it’s down my forehead." she moved her paw to point at it. it was a bad one but she was happy it was finally healing. "so . . you died but you came back? i . . i can say, strangely, i relate to that." she admitted with a small smile. "with jellicles . . i was up in the heaviside layer, but . . i came back down." she admitted with a small head tilt. "didn’t think i’d ever relate to a pirate. at least you’re a handsome pirate." she giggled lightly and gave him a small salute, just her joking around as her arms went to relax at her sides. he wasn’t quite the suspicious character in her mind anymore. simply a tom — older then her but, quite intriguing at the same time.

He give a smile at the compliment and looks at her scar, It looks new and pretty bad but healed well. “Really? I’ve never met anyone who went though the same thing..” Another compliment? This honestly hasn't happened since he was with Griddlebone. He gave out a hearty laugh and gave a playful salute back “Well thank you. You truly are beautiful, in personality and looks.” She was younger than him, how many years he couldn't tell but it couldn't be too much younger. 

"oh, hush, you might charm me." she giggled, she felt like a kitten, all flushed and grinning. "i’m not truly used to being so happy. i feel like my luck is just adding up, i’ll have you to blame for that. compliments from such a handsome tom. haven’t had that in so long." since most toms avoided her, found her repulsive, she had a past to her. "most hiss my name." she admitted, she was seen as too old for her age, and used up. she truly wanted to find something, something more to hold onto, and growltiger peaked her interest and made her feel more loved then she had in a long time, and they hadn’t even been talking for too long. "i can reveal something’s of myself, i’m a jellicle cat. telling cats that, they always think i’m strange." she chuckled at the thought.

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

“Not at all dear, I did die though. I know you probably wont believe me but I came back, I was in a bright white space and told it wasn't my time and now im here.” Its been... a while since that all happened. Oh I can prove it alright!” He says before taking off his eye patch, showing the scar on his missing eye. He blushes a bit at her compliment “Why thank you! Of course I can say the same for you but sweet would be an understatement you are being unbelievably kind, a few of the locals have been very rude.”.  

grizabella took a good look at his eye and nodded. "i guess i believe you. quite a handsome scar on you." she complimented sweetly. "i have a scar, but it’s down my forehead." she moved her paw to point at it. it was a bad one but she was happy it was finally healing. "so . . you died but you came back? i . . i can say, strangely, i relate to that." she admitted with a small smile. "with jellicles . . i was up in the heaviside layer, but . . i came back down." she admitted with a small head tilt. "didn’t think i’d ever relate to a pirate. at least you’re a handsome pirate." she giggled lightly and gave him a small salute, just her joking around as her arms went to relax at her sides. he wasn’t quite the suspicious character in her mind anymore. simply a tom — older then her but, quite intriguing at the same time.

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

. “Oh could you? How so? Is it the ear? I haven't seen any other cat around here with anything...missing.”  He gives out a laugh “Oh but contraire, I only say that to the queens who truly look like a queen.” He says, he takes her paw and kisses it “It’s a pleasure meeting you Grizabella, My names Growltiger. Why is it good? I could have met you much sooner.” Of course you introduced her with you’re  actual name Its not like you were so posted to be killed or anything he thought to himself. “Oh maybe?” he laughs “I’m kidding i understand I’m not as young as I used to be.”.

grizabella flushed at the kiss but let her eyes widen at his name, a grin forming on her face as she crossed her arms again. "growltiger? are you sure i’m not being tricked? everyone says you’re quite dead." she insisted, she heard the song many times, she remembered every word! she didn’t think he was actually real! that would mean all the cats from the story are real, and that was. a weird thought for grizabella. "i guess you are missing an ear, and the eyepatch." she pointed at it before raising her eyebrow at him. "can you prove it?" she pondered, she thought it was some silly joke, she loved the story when she heard it, from the jellicles during their ball, but this was all so strange for her. "i mean . . you do seem quite sweet, which i can remember." she acknowledged.

grizabella smiled at the taller cat. "oh, i could tell you weren’t from around here." she remarked and flushed when he complimented her. rolling her eyes with a smile on her face. "oh, i’m sure you say that to every queen you talk to." she insisted and held out her paw to offer a shake. "i’m grizabella, maybe it’s good that you’re not from around here." then he’d know who she was. she was talked about like a curse around here, no longer by the jellicles though, only the mystery cat and a few other street cats. "and . . maybe you’re handsome, haven’t decided yet." she joked, hoping he wouldn’t suddenly get a terrible ego.

Curse his ever bleeding heart, she looked worse than she had the night of the ball. Skimbleshanks had ignored her cries for help once and he simply couldn’t do it again. He rushed to her side– she was younger than him, but one would have to go underneath so much hardship to find that youth. The railway cat slipped her arm over his shoulder and pulled her safely to her feet, “I got ya, lassie, I’ve got ya. No need ta fret.” Closer up, he could see the scar on her head. What had happened to the darling glamour cat he had known? In the back of his head, he thought of how he should have taken her to Scotland long ago. He never should have let her leave on her own accord. He shook his head, “This ain’t the Heaviside Layer, ya know? How did ya end up back here?” Carefully, he started walking with her. She was going straight to Jennyanydots and he didn’t give a damn what the rest of the tribe had to say about it. 

she grabbed onto skimbleshanks once she was able to. looking up at the cat and giving him a smile. she limped slightly, she hadn’t gotten help in a long while. “i . . i couldn’t.” she simply whispered and looked at him with a saddened look. “i didn’t want to leave yet it . . it was too nice to be back home.” she admitted. the back of her paw pressed against her forehead as she leaned against the cat that she had always considered family. she sniffled slightly. “once the happiness faded i guess it was too late to leave. i just . . wanted to experience it more.” she admitted. she had loved being back home, the acceptance she got from all the cats around her. she felt selfish for wanting more of it. being smiled at and accepted. it was . . beautiful, nice. “i wasted my chance.” she coughed out and kept walking. she hadn’t moved much, her walking was rough and she wasn’t used to it being lighter out. it felt bright and her headache was worse. she wasn’t used to any of it. she felt dazed and confused but . . thankful for being with skimble.

Skimble rubbed her back gently, “No ya didn’t, dearie. They should-a picked Gus. Ya were too young to go. I know I wasn’t the only cat in the crowd who wanted more time with ya.” The yellow tabby hadn’t voiced his opinion, but he knew that Gus didn’t have much longer for this world. It would be a great gadgetry to watch one of their oldest members not get to go to the Heaviside after a good, long life. Despite her wealth of matted fur, Skimbleshanks could feel that she was really just skin and bones. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. Part of him blamed himself, though he knew he was hardly the only cat at fault. He kept her going, slowly, “We’ll get ya to Jenny’s den. We’ll let ya rest, get some food in ya, water, cream, maybe some tea.” Water she needed, but he didn’t know what other drinks she preferred. Cream was what he had always offered the kits, but she wasn’t a kit anymore. Not really. She hadn’t been for a long while. She’d feel happy again, thought Skimbleshanks, especially if he had anything to say in the matter. 

“i . . i just wanted to be home.” she stuttered out to him. she wanted to be home and she wanted her friends and family back. “i . . i haven’t eaten in such a while, skimble. every rat i can find is too fast. i feel so tired.” she admitted with a sigh. she tried to do it all as best as she could. she tried to feed herself but she wasn’t doing well in the slightest. she struggled to move, to talk, and to think. “i wish i went to scotland with you.” she sniffled out. “would’ve been safe with my favorite cat.” she giggled softly, as much as she could without croaking out. “i wish i could’ve gotten . . everyone to accept me without dying. i knew that was unrealistic.” unrealistic if she was still alive. she felt as if she had been thrown aside so the cats didn’t have to deal with her. she understood it . . maybe it wasn’t even meant that way, but if it was? she understood it. she had been a damper on everything.

“I’ll catch ya a big rat, don’t worry. And Alonzo caught some rabbits not long ago, they’ll still be good,” he hummed, holding her tight. A pang went through his heart. Her favorite cat? And how terribly he had failed her too. Guilt was wreaking havoc on him, but he kept strong for her. Skimbleshanks might have to been getting older every day, but he refused to let it keep him down. He’d jump and play with the kits, he’d dance his dance, and he’d carry this queen back where she belonged. He gave Grizabella a careful, comforting nuzzle, “Don’t let the kit here ya say that. He might think ya have forgotten about him. Laddie seemed quite taken with ya.” Young Pouncival and Tumblebrutus needed a good example anyway. He kept her going steady, taking on more of her weight as they walked, “I wish ya had gone to Scotland with me. I never should have let ya leave or let the tribe treat ya like that, but I’m goin’ to do my best to make things right. I swear to ya.” It wouldn’t be easy– no one had ever refused the Heaviside Layer before, but this was still Grizabella. She had been accepted back into the tribe whether the other members liked it or not. 

she laughed softly and gave him a slight smile. “i’ll hold you to that.” she joked and patted his shoulder. she was very hungry, so she was obviously just joking with him. “i wish i went too . . maybe i’d look much better.” she laughed dryly. she wished that she got to see scotland before she left. she laughed about the mention of the kittens though. “i . . i failed one kitten, i won’t fail two more.” she assured him. she felt terrible for leaving her kitten. she might’ve been young but she had a hard time excusing it at all. she didn’t know how to be a mother but . . she could’ve learned. “demeter . . i remember back when she was a kitten. i took care of her the best i could then. i . . i feel terrible for everything that happened to her.” she admitted. she blamed herself for that too. she could’ve helped her, saved her in some way. she didn’t deserve the pain she just stood by during. not that she knew it happened. “and bombalurina, of course. it’s hard to see them now when i remember them being so different.” she admitted. bombalurina was always jumpy and soft, and demeter always yelled and was fairly excitable. she didn’t know what happened.

The yellow tabby sighed, “Ya didn’t fail him at all. Ya were too young and the tribe should have been able to pick up the slack without you havin’ to leave.” Jellicles usually raised the kittens as a close knit community anyway. While they usually stayed with parents, it was not unusual to have kits that were not your own in your den, even when you didn’t have kits. He’d kept watch over all of them, more than once. Skimbleshanks thought he might have a talk with Tugger. He knew that the young tom was sore, but Grizabella was as wounded on her heart as she was on the outside. He sighed and kept them both moving, “I’m sure there will be no hard feelin’s. Demeter seemed awfully fond of ya and Bomba will come ‘round.” To be honest, he couldn’t make that second promise. He didn’t know Bombalurina well, but she had still accepted Grizabella, just as she had once been accepted. He’d remind her of that if she gave any trouble. 

“i know you’re right . . but i . . i still hurt him, and i feel terrible for it.” she sighed. she would blame herself till the day she died. unless she got to speak with him again . . she was too scared too. tugger was a very rowdy cat, she had noticed. she didn’t want to mess it all up. “i . . i always tried to keep those girls safe. they may be the reason for some scars but . . i’d be killed before i let a kitten get hurt.” she let herself get hurt for those queens. “i . . i was just happy demeter recognized me. i know . . i know she meant well.” grizabella could recognize that. even if she wasn’t used to the queen being so skittish and scared. “rina . . never really knew what i went through for her. she didn’t need to. as long as she was safe.” grizabella coughed violently before gripping onto skimble tightly. “i just . . oh, how i wish it was all simply easier.” she could dream it, but that doesn’t mean it would be true.

“We’ll talk to him. But for right now, we need to focus on getting you well,” he told her. Tugger could always be dealt with later. The curious cat was rough around the edges, but Skimbleshanks knew he’d come around eventually. He was as soft a newborn kit at heart, in his opinion. Why else would he take such an interest in quiet little Mistoffelees? He sighed and kept walking. They were nearing the Junkyard. It was quite far for a kit or an injured, hungry queen, but it was not really a far walk at all. Still, he had to hold on to her body tightly as she cough, “It will be. Once we get ya home, ya just plan on gettin’ better. Those two kits a-yas can mind themselves and help ya out. Heard them talkin’ about huntin’ for ya before I left.” Pouncival and Tumblebrutus would do well for her, he believed. Then again, Skimbleshanks felt like kits cured all ills when they were good and kind. The Jellicles certainly were blessed with a handful of sweet kits with just enough orney spark in them. 

“glad i’ll get to see you and jenny again.” she smiled. jenny was a bit mean to her, she didn’t really expect it. she still loved jenny, though, she could never stay mad at the cat, even with how terribly she gossiped. grizabella remembered that all too well . . she was very kind about getting you through your problems though. “hunting? i hope they’ll be safe. i’d hate to see kittens in danger.” which is why she had gotten so close to demeter and bombalurina — she was just glad they seemed happy. “i wish i got this scar treated faster . . i . . i would be way better at everything again.” she sighed . . she didn’t think the scar would effect her so much, but it worked quite like a concussion . . but worse, it wasn’t healing. she felt it was infected and it hurt every time she touched it. “would’ve never had to worry if i listened to you for once in my life.” back when she was a . . mischievous, albeit sweet, kitten. she would never listen to him but she loved spending time around skimble. “but i . . i am sorry if i’m a hassle.”

Skimbleshanks didn’t know how Jenny would react. He still hadn’t talked to her about how she had acted toward the queen at the ball. When Grizabella was thought dead, it didn’t seem to matter. If anyone could talk sense into Jenny, though, it was him. Besides, she had probably just been trying to protect the kits. He reached over and gingerly ran a finger over her scar, “How did this happen?” She had had it the night of the ball and it was clearly a source of trouble for her. Part of him wondered if it was Macavity. He sighed and shook his head, “You’re not a hassle.” The Junkyard was in the distance, but at least it was in sight. Skimbleshanks would be happy to get her some rest and some food. And a bath, if he could somehow manage it. He doubted that a normal grooming would do her any good. Maybe he could convince Alonzo to help. 

she sighed when the question was raised. “macavity found out who helped demeter and bombalurina. yeah?” she laughed lightly, coughing a small bit again. he didn’t like when he was deceived, she knew that well, but he wanted to get demeter out of there . . since she was pregnant. he was terrified at the concept of history repeating itself for her. so he helped them escape . . would’ve helped jerrie and teazer if they listened for once. “i’m not? you’re helping me limp back home and you’re going to have to baby me till i feel better. it’s a hassle. more of one then if i went to scotland with you.” she felt like a problem . . but she didn’t like realizing why. she didn’t like thinking about any of it. she wanted to be home . . she wanted it to not hurt when she remembered her past. she wanted . . to be safe again, not dying in an alleyway . . to be a distant memory to the jellicles forever. only to be forgotten one day.

“You’re not a hassle,” he affirmed, “Grizabella, you were accepted back– you’re a Jellicle. And even if no one had touched you that night if Pouncival came to me and gave me your collar, I’d still be here to help you. I’ve not done enough good by ya, lassie.” Things would get better for her even if Skimbleshanks would have to drive them both to the fires of hell. All the kits in the tribe were precious to him– even Grizabella, though she had long since grown. He sighed, “You are going home and you’re going to get well.” He cupped her cheek and then pulled her head to his and kissed her forehead warmly as though he would to any of his own kits.

she smiled at the affection and nuzzled his shoulder. in a familial way. “i . . i can’t get completely well.” she said, referring to her scar. it had started to heal. she couldn’t fix it anymore. it would hurt forever and it . . it pained her. “ l a s s i e, i missed your silly words.” she giggled. she sounded fairly kittenish, but it reminded him of when she was a kitten. she cared about him, and he cared about her. they were always family then. maybe it’ll happen again. she thought about it. “those . . twins, they got here?” she didn’t know that they were skimbleshanks’ kids, she was never told any of that. “i . . i knew them too, back when. i didn’t expect to see them.” she admitted.

It was hard to know that. Not because he blamed or felt she was broken– those thoughts had not even crossed Skimbleshank’s mind–but because he knew it was hurting her. He wished that he had been there. He sighed and told her, “Then we’ll get ya as well as ya can be. Nothin’ wrong with that.” It wasn’t unusual for cats to have injuries that would affect them the rest of their lives. Gus’ palsy had crippled his acting career and Skimbleshanks didn’t know how much longer he could pretend that he could still jump and frolic like a kit. The pretending was more for himself, though, anyway. He gave her a soft smile, “Jerrie and Teazer, ya mean? They’re mine and Jenny’s kits ya know.” Part of him hoped that would make her happy. While the reason she knew his kits was not ideal, they were working on that. Everything would be well soon. 

she smiled when he told her, looking at him with a soft smile. “they . . they were as sweet as they could be. i would think if you’re watching them, they’re okay now. i d o see the resemblance, albeit slightly.” she teased with a chuckle. she should’ve realized, she knew that. it was just never a thought to cross her mind. “cats love to stare . . i wish they all wouldn’t simply stare when i came around. i know they will now. feels like a whole lot of eyes judging me and watching me but . . never saying a word.” she explained. it was fairly close to what was really saying, and she wished she didn’t have to deal with it, but if she were to keep her promise and . . come back home? it wouldn’t matter then. she didn’t care at that point.

“Took after their ma and that changin’ coat of her’s,” he said. The kits were most definitely theirs, but they resembled Jenny more. Skimbleshanks chuckled, “Probably for the best.” As if to emulate his point, he took his hand and rubbed under his chin before giving Grizabella a wink. He stopped at the entrance to the Junkyard as she spoke. In the distance, he could see a few cats milling about, but they had yet to be noticed. He shook his head, “I can’t stop ‘em from starin’. Not yet, anyway. Doesn’t matter what they think. This is your home. Ya ready?” If she wasn’t ready to face them, he’d give her a few more minutes. She desperately needed to get somewhere to lie down though. He refused to keep her out of the Junkyard for much longer. Grizabella not going to the Heaviside would be the talk of the tribe for some time that much he knew. 

she took a breath and gave skimbleshanks a tight hug. holding it there for a moment and nuzzling her nose into his neck. she held herself there for a couple moments before standing back and wrapped her arm around his carefully. “i . . i think i can do it.” she gave skimbleshanks a smile before nuzzling into the side of his head and resting hers against his shoulder. she’d try not to look back at anyone. simply to look down at her feet and think. think about it all, think about why she hadn’t made it up to the heaviside layer . . she knew she’d have to explain. she had to get all her stories straight before they were all jumbled in her mind forever and she gave a wrong answer. she had to try as best as possible to think as she limped along. she would do her best for everything now, she wouldn’t leave again . . she’d stay and she promised she’d stay.

He took her weight onto his shoulders again, keeping her weak body held up as best that he could. Sometimes, it came in handy that he did what he could to keep himself feeling young. It meant he was stronger than other cats his age. He smiled at her nuzzle and began to help her move forward into the Junkyard. Skimbleshanks was looking around for Pouncival or Tumblebrutus to help him. While Pouncival said it was supposed to be a secret, the yellow doubted that the other would be able to hide the exciting prospect of a new mother from his littermate for long. They’d be good for each other, he thought. While the two kits were young, they had always been very independent– the kind of kits Grizabella could manage while she got well and who could always be trusted to take care of her when they got older. She had been a very lucky queen to be found by that kit. 

she looked around and then back at skimble. she could feel the eyes on her, she could hear the words. she wasn’t sure what was good and what wasn’t. “skimble, i . . i’m not sure they’re happy. i can’t see them.” she mumbled. she was scared but she tried to keep her head high. she was smiling but she was terrified. her paws shaking as she continued to herself hold onto the railway cat beside her. she knew she was safe. she was scared, she was terrified of what would happen. she felt her legs shake roughly. she was hungry and she was only doubling down on the stares around her. she was usually better with this all. she was usually okay with everything, she was usually able to sit through it all, but now she was too scared to even think of it all. “do you think they’re be upset with me?” she asked lightly. she didn’t want them to be upset with her but she would

Skimbleshanks squeezed her shoulder, “Don’t worry about what they’re staying. They don’t have a right to tell ya can’t be here.” Especially with me around, he thought. He might not have been the strongest Jellicle or the smartest, but he would never go down without a fight. He’d keep her safe. He hummed slightly, keeping her shaking legs up. Jenny’s den was going to be too far. They would have to go to his, “If they are, they’ll get over it soon enough.” They accepted her back. No one knew that you couldn’t say no to going to the Heaviside Layer. It would be new to them, but as long as Old Deutronomy was in their corner, the tribe would let it go eventually. Besides, Grizabella already had plenty of family at her back. 

"you’ll be here for me." she responded softly as she rested her head against skimble. she closed her eyes tight and ignored what whispers she could hear. she was right next to skimble and she felt safe . . she felt as if she could walk on air and she was finally being helped. "get over it? you’ve truly changed your opinion over night." she laughed, she meant towards her. her head felt settled against the soft fur of the railway cat. she wanted to stand there and be safe for the rest of time! "thank you, skimbleshanks." she whispered and nuzzled her nose into his neck. a familial nuzzle as she simply breathed and didn’t move. she was acting purely like a kitten but she hoped that would be okay.

Curse his ever bleeding heart, she looked worse than she had the night of the ball. Skimbleshanks had ignored her cries for help once and he simply couldn’t do it again. He rushed to her side– she was younger than him, but one would have to go underneath so much hardship to find that youth. The railway cat slipped her arm over his shoulder and pulled her safely to her feet, “I got ya, lassie, I’ve got ya. No need ta fret.” Closer up, he could see the scar on her head. What had happened to the darling glamour cat he had known? In the back of his head, he thought of how he should have taken her to Scotland long ago. He never should have let her leave on her own accord. He shook his head, “This ain’t the Heaviside Layer, ya know? How did ya end up back here?” Carefully, he started walking with her. She was going straight to Jennyanydots and he didn’t give a damn what the rest of the tribe had to say about it. 

she grabbed onto skimbleshanks once she was able to. looking up at the cat and giving him a smile. she limped slightly, she hadn’t gotten help in a long while. “i . . i couldn’t.” she simply whispered and looked at him with a saddened look. “i didn’t want to leave yet it . . it was too nice to be back home.” she admitted. the back of her paw pressed against her forehead as she leaned against the cat that she had always considered family. she sniffled slightly. “once the happiness faded i guess it was too late to leave. i just . . wanted to experience it more.” she admitted. she had loved being back home, the acceptance she got from all the cats around her. she felt selfish for wanting more of it. being smiled at and accepted. it was . . beautiful, nice. “i wasted my chance.” she coughed out and kept walking. she hadn’t moved much, her walking was rough and she wasn’t used to it being lighter out. it felt bright and her headache was worse. she wasn’t used to any of it. she felt dazed and confused but . . thankful for being with skimble.

Skimble rubbed her back gently, “No ya didn’t, dearie. They should-a picked Gus. Ya were too young to go. I know I wasn’t the only cat in the crowd who wanted more time with ya.” The yellow tabby hadn’t voiced his opinion, but he knew that Gus didn’t have much longer for this world. It would be a great gadgetry to watch one of their oldest members not get to go to the Heaviside after a good, long life. Despite her wealth of matted fur, Skimbleshanks could feel that she was really just skin and bones. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. Part of him blamed himself, though he knew he was hardly the only cat at fault. He kept her going, slowly, “We’ll get ya to Jenny’s den. We’ll let ya rest, get some food in ya, water, cream, maybe some tea.” Water she needed, but he didn’t know what other drinks she preferred. Cream was what he had always offered the kits, but she wasn’t a kit anymore. Not really. She hadn’t been for a long while. She’d feel happy again, thought Skimbleshanks, especially if he had anything to say in the matter. 

“i . . i just wanted to be home.” she stuttered out to him. she wanted to be home and she wanted her friends and family back. “i . . i haven’t eaten in such a while, skimble. every rat i can find is too fast. i feel so tired.” she admitted with a sigh. she tried to do it all as best as she could. she tried to feed herself but she wasn’t doing well in the slightest. she struggled to move, to talk, and to think. “i wish i went to scotland with you.” she sniffled out. “would’ve been safe with my favorite cat.” she giggled softly, as much as she could without croaking out. “i wish i could’ve gotten . . everyone to accept me without dying. i knew that was unrealistic.” unrealistic if she was still alive. she felt as if she had been thrown aside so the cats didn’t have to deal with her. she understood it . . maybe it wasn’t even meant that way, but if it was? she understood it. she had been a damper on everything.

“I’ll catch ya a big rat, don’t worry. And Alonzo caught some rabbits not long ago, they’ll still be good,” he hummed, holding her tight. A pang went through his heart. Her favorite cat? And how terribly he had failed her too. Guilt was wreaking havoc on him, but he kept strong for her. Skimbleshanks might have to been getting older every day, but he refused to let it keep him down. He’d jump and play with the kits, he’d dance his dance, and he’d carry this queen back where she belonged. He gave Grizabella a careful, comforting nuzzle, “Don’t let the kit here ya say that. He might think ya have forgotten about him. Laddie seemed quite taken with ya.” Young Pouncival and Tumblebrutus needed a good example anyway. He kept her going steady, taking on more of her weight as they walked, “I wish ya had gone to Scotland with me. I never should have let ya leave or let the tribe treat ya like that, but I’m goin’ to do my best to make things right. I swear to ya.” It wouldn’t be easy– no one had ever refused the Heaviside Layer before, but this was still Grizabella. She had been accepted back into the tribe whether the other members liked it or not. 

she laughed softly and gave him a slight smile. “i’ll hold you to that.” she joked and patted his shoulder. she was very hungry, so she was obviously just joking with him. “i wish i went too . . maybe i’d look much better.” she laughed dryly. she wished that she got to see scotland before she left. she laughed about the mention of the kittens though. “i . . i failed one kitten, i won’t fail two more.” she assured him. she felt terrible for leaving her kitten. she might’ve been young but she had a hard time excusing it at all. she didn’t know how to be a mother but . . she could’ve learned. “demeter . . i remember back when she was a kitten. i took care of her the best i could then. i . . i feel terrible for everything that happened to her.” she admitted. she blamed herself for that too. she could’ve helped her, saved her in some way. she didn’t deserve the pain she just stood by during. not that she knew it happened. “and bombalurina, of course. it’s hard to see them now when i remember them being so different.” she admitted. bombalurina was always jumpy and soft, and demeter always yelled and was fairly excitable. she didn’t know what happened.

The yellow tabby sighed, “Ya didn’t fail him at all. Ya were too young and the tribe should have been able to pick up the slack without you havin’ to leave.” Jellicles usually raised the kittens as a close knit community anyway. While they usually stayed with parents, it was not unusual to have kits that were not your own in your den, even when you didn’t have kits. He’d kept watch over all of them, more than once. Skimbleshanks thought he might have a talk with Tugger. He knew that the young tom was sore, but Grizabella was as wounded on her heart as she was on the outside. He sighed and kept them both moving, “I’m sure there will be no hard feelin’s. Demeter seemed awfully fond of ya and Bomba will come ‘round.” To be honest, he couldn’t make that second promise. He didn’t know Bombalurina well, but she had still accepted Grizabella, just as she had once been accepted. He’d remind her of that if she gave any trouble. 

“i know you’re right . . but i . . i still hurt him, and i feel terrible for it.” she sighed. she would blame herself till the day she died. unless she got to speak with him again . . she was too scared too. tugger was a very rowdy cat, she had noticed. she didn’t want to mess it all up. “i . . i always tried to keep those girls safe. they may be the reason for some scars but . . i’d be killed before i let a kitten get hurt.” she let herself get hurt for those queens. “i . . i was just happy demeter recognized me. i know . . i know she meant well.” grizabella could recognize that. even if she wasn’t used to the queen being so skittish and scared. “rina . . never really knew what i went through for her. she didn’t need to. as long as she was safe.” grizabella coughed violently before gripping onto skimble tightly. “i just . . oh, how i wish it was all simply easier.” she could dream it, but that doesn’t mean it would be true.

“We’ll talk to him. But for right now, we need to focus on getting you well,” he told her. Tugger could always be dealt with later. The curious cat was rough around the edges, but Skimbleshanks knew he’d come around eventually. He was as soft a newborn kit at heart, in his opinion. Why else would he take such an interest in quiet little Mistoffelees? He sighed and kept walking. They were nearing the Junkyard. It was quite far for a kit or an injured, hungry queen, but it was not really a far walk at all. Still, he had to hold on to her body tightly as she cough, “It will be. Once we get ya home, ya just plan on gettin’ better. Those two kits a-yas can mind themselves and help ya out. Heard them talkin’ about huntin’ for ya before I left.” Pouncival and Tumblebrutus would do well for her, he believed. Then again, Skimbleshanks felt like kits cured all ills when they were good and kind. The Jellicles certainly were blessed with a handful of sweet kits with just enough orney spark in them. 

“glad i’ll get to see you and jenny again.” she smiled. jenny was a bit mean to her, she didn’t really expect it. she still loved jenny, though, she could never stay mad at the cat, even with how terribly she gossiped. grizabella remembered that all too well . . she was very kind about getting you through your problems though. “hunting? i hope they’ll be safe. i’d hate to see kittens in danger.” which is why she had gotten so close to demeter and bombalurina — she was just glad they seemed happy. “i wish i got this scar treated faster . . i . . i would be way better at everything again.” she sighed . . she didn’t think the scar would effect her so much, but it worked quite like a concussion . . but worse, it wasn’t healing. she felt it was infected and it hurt every time she touched it. “would’ve never had to worry if i listened to you for once in my life.” back when she was a . . mischievous, albeit sweet, kitten. she would never listen to him but she loved spending time around skimble. “but i . . i am sorry if i’m a hassle.”

Skimbleshanks didn’t know how Jenny would react. He still hadn’t talked to her about how she had acted toward the queen at the ball. When Grizabella was thought dead, it didn’t seem to matter. If anyone could talk sense into Jenny, though, it was him. Besides, she had probably just been trying to protect the kits. He reached over and gingerly ran a finger over her scar, “How did this happen?” She had had it the night of the ball and it was clearly a source of trouble for her. Part of him wondered if it was Macavity. He sighed and shook his head, “You’re not a hassle.” The Junkyard was in the distance, but at least it was in sight. Skimbleshanks would be happy to get her some rest and some food. And a bath, if he could somehow manage it. He doubted that a normal grooming would do her any good. Maybe he could convince Alonzo to help. 

she sighed when the question was raised. “macavity found out who helped demeter and bombalurina. yeah?” she laughed lightly, coughing a small bit again. he didn’t like when he was deceived, she knew that well, but he wanted to get demeter out of there . . since she was pregnant. he was terrified at the concept of history repeating itself for her. so he helped them escape . . would’ve helped jerrie and teazer if they listened for once. “i’m not? you’re helping me limp back home and you’re going to have to baby me till i feel better. it’s a hassle. more of one then if i went to scotland with you.” she felt like a problem . . but she didn’t like realizing why. she didn’t like thinking about any of it. she wanted to be home . . she wanted it to not hurt when she remembered her past. she wanted . . to be safe again, not dying in an alleyway . . to be a distant memory to the jellicles forever. only to be forgotten one day.

“You’re not a hassle,” he affirmed, “Grizabella, you were accepted back– you’re a Jellicle. And even if no one had touched you that night if Pouncival came to me and gave me your collar, I’d still be here to help you. I’ve not done enough good by ya, lassie.” Things would get better for her even if Skimbleshanks would have to drive them both to the fires of hell. All the kits in the tribe were precious to him– even Grizabella, though she had long since grown. He sighed, “You are going home and you’re going to get well.” He cupped her cheek and then pulled her head to his and kissed her forehead warmly as though he would to any of his own kits.

she smiled at the affection and nuzzled his shoulder. in a familial way. “i . . i can’t get completely well.” she said, referring to her scar. it had started to heal. she couldn’t fix it anymore. it would hurt forever and it . . it pained her. “ l a s s i e, i missed your silly words.” she giggled. she sounded fairly kittenish, but it reminded him of when she was a kitten. she cared about him, and he cared about her. they were always family then. maybe it’ll happen again. she thought about it. “those . . twins, they got here?” she didn’t know that they were skimbleshanks’ kids, she was never told any of that. “i . . i knew them too, back when. i didn’t expect to see them.” she admitted.

It was hard to know that. Not because he blamed or felt she was broken– those thoughts had not even crossed Skimbleshank’s mind–but because he knew it was hurting her. He wished that he had been there. He sighed and told her, “Then we’ll get ya as well as ya can be. Nothin’ wrong with that.” It wasn’t unusual for cats to have injuries that would affect them the rest of their lives. Gus’ palsy had crippled his acting career and Skimbleshanks didn’t know how much longer he could pretend that he could still jump and frolic like a kit. The pretending was more for himself, though, anyway. He gave her a soft smile, “Jerrie and Teazer, ya mean? They’re mine and Jenny’s kits ya know.” Part of him hoped that would make her happy. While the reason she knew his kits was not ideal, they were working on that. Everything would be well soon. 

she smiled when he told her, looking at him with a soft smile. “they . . they were as sweet as they could be. i would think if you’re watching them, they’re okay now. i d o see the resemblance, albeit slightly.” she teased with a chuckle. she should’ve realized, she knew that. it was just never a thought to cross her mind. “cats love to stare . . i wish they all wouldn’t simply stare when i came around. i know they will now. feels like a whole lot of eyes judging me and watching me but . . never saying a word.” she explained. it was fairly close to what was really saying, and she wished she didn’t have to deal with it, but if she were to keep her promise and . . come back home? it wouldn’t matter then. she didn’t care at that point.

“Took after their ma and that changin’ coat of her’s,” he said. The kits were most definitely theirs, but they resembled Jenny more. Skimbleshanks chuckled, “Probably for the best.” As if to emulate his point, he took his hand and rubbed under his chin before giving Grizabella a wink. He stopped at the entrance to the Junkyard as she spoke. In the distance, he could see a few cats milling about, but they had yet to be noticed. He shook his head, “I can’t stop ‘em from starin’. Not yet, anyway. Doesn’t matter what they think. This is your home. Ya ready?” If she wasn’t ready to face them, he’d give her a few more minutes. She desperately needed to get somewhere to lie down though. He refused to keep her out of the Junkyard for much longer. Grizabella not going to the Heaviside would be the talk of the tribe for some time that much he knew. 

she took a breath and gave skimbleshanks a tight hug. holding it there for a moment and nuzzling her nose into his neck. she held herself there for a couple moments before standing back and wrapped her arm around his carefully. “i . . i think i can do it.” she gave skimbleshanks a smile before nuzzling into the side of his head and resting hers against his shoulder. she’d try not to look back at anyone. simply to look down at her feet and think. think about it all, think about why she hadn’t made it up to the heaviside layer . . she knew she’d have to explain. she had to get all her stories straight before they were all jumbled in her mind forever and she gave a wrong answer. she had to try as best as possible to think as she limped along. she would do her best for everything now, she wouldn’t leave again . . she’d stay and she promised she’d stay.

He took her weight onto his shoulders again, keeping her weak body held up as best that he could. Sometimes, it came in handy that he did what he could to keep himself feeling young. It meant he was stronger than other cats his age. He smiled at her nuzzle and began to help her move forward into the Junkyard. Skimbleshanks was looking around for Pouncival or Tumblebrutus to help him. While Pouncival said it was supposed to be a secret, the yellow doubted that the other would be able to hide the exciting prospect of a new mother from his littermate for long. They’d be good for each other, he thought. While the two kits were young, they had always been very independent– the kind of kits Grizabella could manage while she got well and who could always be trusted to take care of her when they got older. She had been a very lucky queen to be found by that kit. 

she looked around and then back at skimble. she could feel the eyes on her, she could hear the words. she wasn’t sure what was good and what wasn’t. "skimble, i . . i’m not sure they’re happy. i can’t see them." she mumbled. she was scared but she tried to keep her head high. she was smiling but she was terrified. her paws shaking as she continued to herself hold onto the railway cat beside her. she knew she was safe. she was scared, she was terrified of what would happen. she felt her legs shake roughly. she was hungry and she was only doubling down on the stares around her. she was usually better with this all. she was usually okay with everything, she was usually able to sit through it all, but now she was too scared to even think of it all. "do you think they’re be upset with me?" she asked lightly. she didn’t want them to be upset with her but she would

Curse his ever bleeding heart, she looked worse than she had the night of the ball. Skimbleshanks had ignored her cries for help once and he simply couldn’t do it again. He rushed to her side– she was younger than him, but one would have to go underneath so much hardship to find that youth. The railway cat slipped her arm over his shoulder and pulled her safely to her feet, “I got ya, lassie, I’ve got ya. No need ta fret.” Closer up, he could see the scar on her head. What had happened to the darling glamour cat he had known? In the back of his head, he thought of how he should have taken her to Scotland long ago. He never should have let her leave on her own accord. He shook his head, “This ain’t the Heaviside Layer, ya know? How did ya end up back here?” Carefully, he started walking with her. She was going straight to Jennyanydots and he didn’t give a damn what the rest of the tribe had to say about it. 

she grabbed onto skimbleshanks once she was able to. looking up at the cat and giving him a smile. she limped slightly, she hadn’t gotten help in a long while. “i . . i couldn’t.” she simply whispered and looked at him with a saddened look. “i didn’t want to leave yet it . . it was too nice to be back home.” she admitted. the back of her paw pressed against her forehead as she leaned against the cat that she had always considered family. she sniffled slightly. “once the happiness faded i guess it was too late to leave. i just . . wanted to experience it more.” she admitted. she had loved being back home, the acceptance she got from all the cats around her. she felt selfish for wanting more of it. being smiled at and accepted. it was . . beautiful, nice. “i wasted my chance.” she coughed out and kept walking. she hadn’t moved much, her walking was rough and she wasn’t used to it being lighter out. it felt bright and her headache was worse. she wasn’t used to any of it. she felt dazed and confused but . . thankful for being with skimble.

Skimble rubbed her back gently, “No ya didn’t, dearie. They should-a picked Gus. Ya were too young to go. I know I wasn’t the only cat in the crowd who wanted more time with ya.” The yellow tabby hadn’t voiced his opinion, but he knew that Gus didn’t have much longer for this world. It would be a great gadgetry to watch one of their oldest members not get to go to the Heaviside after a good, long life. Despite her wealth of matted fur, Skimbleshanks could feel that she was really just skin and bones. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. Part of him blamed himself, though he knew he was hardly the only cat at fault. He kept her going, slowly, “We’ll get ya to Jenny’s den. We’ll let ya rest, get some food in ya, water, cream, maybe some tea.” Water she needed, but he didn’t know what other drinks she preferred. Cream was what he had always offered the kits, but she wasn’t a kit anymore. Not really. She hadn’t been for a long while. She’d feel happy again, thought Skimbleshanks, especially if he had anything to say in the matter. 

“i . . i just wanted to be home.” she stuttered out to him. she wanted to be home and she wanted her friends and family back. “i . . i haven’t eaten in such a while, skimble. every rat i can find is too fast. i feel so tired.” she admitted with a sigh. she tried to do it all as best as she could. she tried to feed herself but she wasn’t doing well in the slightest. she struggled to move, to talk, and to think. “i wish i went to scotland with you.” she sniffled out. “would’ve been safe with my favorite cat.” she giggled softly, as much as she could without croaking out. “i wish i could’ve gotten . . everyone to accept me without dying. i knew that was unrealistic.” unrealistic if she was still alive. she felt as if she had been thrown aside so the cats didn’t have to deal with her. she understood it . . maybe it wasn’t even meant that way, but if it was? she understood it. she had been a damper on everything.

“I’ll catch ya a big rat, don’t worry. And Alonzo caught some rabbits not long ago, they’ll still be good,” he hummed, holding her tight. A pang went through his heart. Her favorite cat? And how terribly he had failed her too. Guilt was wreaking havoc on him, but he kept strong for her. Skimbleshanks might have to been getting older every day, but he refused to let it keep him down. He’d jump and play with the kits, he’d dance his dance, and he’d carry this queen back where she belonged. He gave Grizabella a careful, comforting nuzzle, “Don’t let the kit here ya say that. He might think ya have forgotten about him. Laddie seemed quite taken with ya.” Young Pouncival and Tumblebrutus needed a good example anyway. He kept her going steady, taking on more of her weight as they walked, “I wish ya had gone to Scotland with me. I never should have let ya leave or let the tribe treat ya like that, but I’m goin’ to do my best to make things right. I swear to ya.” It wouldn’t be easy– no one had ever refused the Heaviside Layer before, but this was still Grizabella. She had been accepted back into the tribe whether the other members liked it or not. 

she laughed softly and gave him a slight smile. “i’ll hold you to that.” she joked and patted his shoulder. she was very hungry, so she was obviously just joking with him. “i wish i went too . . maybe i’d look much better.” she laughed dryly. she wished that she got to see scotland before she left. she laughed about the mention of the kittens though. “i . . i failed one kitten, i won’t fail two more.” she assured him. she felt terrible for leaving her kitten. she might’ve been young but she had a hard time excusing it at all. she didn’t know how to be a mother but . . she could’ve learned. “demeter . . i remember back when she was a kitten. i took care of her the best i could then. i . . i feel terrible for everything that happened to her.” she admitted. she blamed herself for that too. she could’ve helped her, saved her in some way. she didn’t deserve the pain she just stood by during. not that she knew it happened. “and bombalurina, of course. it’s hard to see them now when i remember them being so different.” she admitted. bombalurina was always jumpy and soft, and demeter always yelled and was fairly excitable. she didn’t know what happened.

The yellow tabby sighed, “Ya didn’t fail him at all. Ya were too young and the tribe should have been able to pick up the slack without you havin’ to leave.” Jellicles usually raised the kittens as a close knit community anyway. While they usually stayed with parents, it was not unusual to have kits that were not your own in your den, even when you didn’t have kits. He’d kept watch over all of them, more than once. Skimbleshanks thought he might have a talk with Tugger. He knew that the young tom was sore, but Grizabella was as wounded on her heart as she was on the outside. He sighed and kept them both moving, “I’m sure there will be no hard feelin’s. Demeter seemed awfully fond of ya and Bomba will come ‘round.” To be honest, he couldn’t make that second promise. He didn’t know Bombalurina well, but she had still accepted Grizabella, just as she had once been accepted. He’d remind her of that if she gave any trouble. 

“i know you’re right . . but i . . i still hurt him, and i feel terrible for it.” she sighed. she would blame herself till the day she died. unless she got to speak with him again . . she was too scared too. tugger was a very rowdy cat, she had noticed. she didn’t want to mess it all up. “i . . i always tried to keep those girls safe. they may be the reason for some scars but . . i’d be killed before i let a kitten get hurt.” she let herself get hurt for those queens. “i . . i was just happy demeter recognized me. i know . . i know she meant well.” grizabella could recognize that. even if she wasn’t used to the queen being so skittish and scared. “rina . . never really knew what i went through for her. she didn’t need to. as long as she was safe.” grizabella coughed violently before gripping onto skimble tightly. “i just . . oh, how i wish it was all simply easier.” she could dream it, but that doesn’t mean it would be true.

“We’ll talk to him. But for right now, we need to focus on getting you well,” he told her. Tugger could always be dealt with later. The curious cat was rough around the edges, but Skimbleshanks knew he’d come around eventually. He was as soft a newborn kit at heart, in his opinion. Why else would he take such an interest in quiet little Mistoffelees? He sighed and kept walking. They were nearing the Junkyard. It was quite far for a kit or an injured, hungry queen, but it was not really a far walk at all. Still, he had to hold on to her body tightly as she cough, “It will be. Once we get ya home, ya just plan on gettin’ better. Those two kits a-yas can mind themselves and help ya out. Heard them talkin’ about huntin’ for ya before I left.” Pouncival and Tumblebrutus would do well for her, he believed. Then again, Skimbleshanks felt like kits cured all ills when they were good and kind. The Jellicles certainly were blessed with a handful of sweet kits with just enough orney spark in them. 

“glad i’ll get to see you and jenny again.” she smiled. jenny was a bit mean to her, she didn’t really expect it. she still loved jenny, though, she could never stay mad at the cat, even with how terribly she gossiped. grizabella remembered that all too well . . she was very kind about getting you through your problems though. “hunting? i hope they’ll be safe. i’d hate to see kittens in danger.” which is why she had gotten so close to demeter and bombalurina — she was just glad they seemed happy. “i wish i got this scar treated faster . . i . . i would be way better at everything again.” she sighed . . she didn’t think the scar would effect her so much, but it worked quite like a concussion . . but worse, it wasn’t healing. she felt it was infected and it hurt every time she touched it. “would’ve never had to worry if i listened to you for once in my life.” back when she was a . . mischievous, albeit sweet, kitten. she would never listen to him but she loved spending time around skimble. “but i . . i am sorry if i’m a hassle.”

Skimbleshanks didn’t know how Jenny would react. He still hadn’t talked to her about how she had acted toward the queen at the ball. When Grizabella was thought dead, it didn’t seem to matter. If anyone could talk sense into Jenny, though, it was him. Besides, she had probably just been trying to protect the kits. He reached over and gingerly ran a finger over her scar, “How did this happen?” She had had it the night of the ball and it was clearly a source of trouble for her. Part of him wondered if it was Macavity. He sighed and shook his head, “You’re not a hassle.” The Junkyard was in the distance, but at least it was in sight. Skimbleshanks would be happy to get her some rest and some food. And a bath, if he could somehow manage it. He doubted that a normal grooming would do her any good. Maybe he could convince Alonzo to help. 

she sighed when the question was raised. “macavity found out who helped demeter and bombalurina. yeah?” she laughed lightly, coughing a small bit again. he didn’t like when he was deceived, she knew that well, but he wanted to get demeter out of there . . since she was pregnant. he was terrified at the concept of history repeating itself for her. so he helped them escape . . would’ve helped jerrie and teazer if they listened for once. “i’m not? you’re helping me limp back home and you’re going to have to baby me till i feel better. it’s a hassle. more of one then if i went to scotland with you.” she felt like a problem . . but she didn’t like realizing why. she didn’t like thinking about any of it. she wanted to be home . . she wanted it to not hurt when she remembered her past. she wanted . . to be safe again, not dying in an alleyway . . to be a distant memory to the jellicles forever. only to be forgotten one day.

“You’re not a hassle,” he affirmed, “Grizabella, you were accepted back– you’re a Jellicle. And even if no one had touched you that night if Pouncival came to me and gave me your collar, I’d still be here to help you. I’ve not done enough good by ya, lassie.” Things would get better for her even if Skimbleshanks would have to drive them both to the fires of hell. All the kits in the tribe were precious to him– even Grizabella, though she had long since grown. He sighed, “You are going home and you’re going to get well.” He cupped her cheek and then pulled her head to his and kissed her forehead warmly as though he would to any of his own kits.

she smiled at the affection and nuzzled his shoulder. in a familial way. “i . . i can’t get completely well.” she said, referring to her scar. it had started to heal. she couldn’t fix it anymore. it would hurt forever and it . . it pained her. “ l a s s i e, i missed your silly words.” she giggled. she sounded fairly kittenish, but it reminded him of when she was a kitten. she cared about him, and he cared about her. they were always family then. maybe it’ll happen again. she thought about it. “those . . twins, they got here?” she didn’t know that they were skimbleshanks’ kids, she was never told any of that. “i . . i knew them too, back when. i didn’t expect to see them.” she admitted.

It was hard to know that. Not because he blamed or felt she was broken– those thoughts had not even crossed Skimbleshank’s mind–but because he knew it was hurting her. He wished that he had been there. He sighed and told her, “Then we’ll get ya as well as ya can be. Nothin’ wrong with that.” It wasn’t unusual for cats to have injuries that would affect them the rest of their lives. Gus’ palsy had crippled his acting career and Skimbleshanks didn’t know how much longer he could pretend that he could still jump and frolic like a kit. The pretending was more for himself, though, anyway. He gave her a soft smile, “Jerrie and Teazer, ya mean? They’re mine and Jenny’s kits ya know.” Part of him hoped that would make her happy. While the reason she knew his kits was not ideal, they were working on that. Everything would be well soon. 

she smiled when he told her, looking at him with a soft smile. “they . . they were as sweet as they could be. i would think if you’re watching them, they’re okay now. i d o see the resemblance, albeit slightly.” she teased with a chuckle. she should’ve realized, she knew that. it was just never a thought to cross her mind. “cats love to stare . . i wish they all wouldn’t simply stare when i came around. i know they will now. feels like a whole lot of eyes judging me and watching me but . . never saying a word.” she explained. it was fairly close to what was really saying, and she wished she didn’t have to deal with it, but if she were to keep her promise and . . come back home? it wouldn’t matter then. she didn’t care at that point.

“Took after their ma and that changin’ coat of her’s,” he said. The kits were most definitely theirs, but they resembled Jenny more. Skimbleshanks chuckled, “Probably for the best.” As if to emulate his point, he took his hand and rubbed under his chin before giving Grizabella a wink. He stopped at the entrance to the Junkyard as she spoke. In the distance, he could see a few cats milling about, but they had yet to be noticed. He shook his head, “I can’t stop ‘em from starin’. Not yet, anyway. Doesn’t matter what they think. This is your home. Ya ready?” If she wasn’t ready to face them, he’d give her a few more minutes. She desperately needed to get somewhere to lie down though. He refused to keep her out of the Junkyard for much longer. Grizabella not going to the Heaviside would be the talk of the tribe for some time that much he knew. 

she took a breath and gave skimbleshanks a tight hug. holding it there for a moment and nuzzling her nose into his neck. she held herself there for a couple moments before standing back and wrapped her arm around his carefully. "i . . i think i can do it." she gave skimbleshanks a smile before nuzzling into the side of his head and resting hers against his shoulder. she’d try not to look back at anyone. simply to look down at her feet and think. think about it all, think about why she hadn’t made it up to the heaviside layer . . she knew she’d have to explain. she had to get all her stories straight before they were all jumbled in her mind forever and she gave a wrong answer. she had to try as best as possible to think as she limped along. she would do her best for everything now, she wouldn’t leave again . . she’d stay and she promised she’d stay.

Curse his ever bleeding heart, she looked worse than she had the night of the ball. Skimbleshanks had ignored her cries for help once and he simply couldn’t do it again. He rushed to her side– she was younger than him, but one would have to go underneath so much hardship to find that youth. The railway cat slipped her arm over his shoulder and pulled her safely to her feet, “I got ya, lassie, I’ve got ya. No need ta fret.” Closer up, he could see the scar on her head. What had happened to the darling glamour cat he had known? In the back of his head, he thought of how he should have taken her to Scotland long ago. He never should have let her leave on her own accord. He shook his head, “This ain’t the Heaviside Layer, ya know? How did ya end up back here?” Carefully, he started walking with her. She was going straight to Jennyanydots and he didn’t give a damn what the rest of the tribe had to say about it. 

she grabbed onto skimbleshanks once she was able to. looking up at the cat and giving him a smile. she limped slightly, she hadn’t gotten help in a long while. “i . . i couldn’t.” she simply whispered and looked at him with a saddened look. “i didn’t want to leave yet it . . it was too nice to be back home.” she admitted. the back of her paw pressed against her forehead as she leaned against the cat that she had always considered family. she sniffled slightly. “once the happiness faded i guess it was too late to leave. i just . . wanted to experience it more.” she admitted. she had loved being back home, the acceptance she got from all the cats around her. she felt selfish for wanting more of it. being smiled at and accepted. it was . . beautiful, nice. “i wasted my chance.” she coughed out and kept walking. she hadn’t moved much, her walking was rough and she wasn’t used to it being lighter out. it felt bright and her headache was worse. she wasn’t used to any of it. she felt dazed and confused but . . thankful for being with skimble.

Skimble rubbed her back gently, “No ya didn’t, dearie. They should-a picked Gus. Ya were too young to go. I know I wasn’t the only cat in the crowd who wanted more time with ya.” The yellow tabby hadn’t voiced his opinion, but he knew that Gus didn’t have much longer for this world. It would be a great gadgetry to watch one of their oldest members not get to go to the Heaviside after a good, long life. Despite her wealth of matted fur, Skimbleshanks could feel that she was really just skin and bones. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. Part of him blamed himself, though he knew he was hardly the only cat at fault. He kept her going, slowly, “We’ll get ya to Jenny’s den. We’ll let ya rest, get some food in ya, water, cream, maybe some tea.” Water she needed, but he didn’t know what other drinks she preferred. Cream was what he had always offered the kits, but she wasn’t a kit anymore. Not really. She hadn’t been for a long while. She’d feel happy again, thought Skimbleshanks, especially if he had anything to say in the matter. 

“i . . i just wanted to be home.” she stuttered out to him. she wanted to be home and she wanted her friends and family back. “i . . i haven’t eaten in such a while, skimble. every rat i can find is too fast. i feel so tired.” she admitted with a sigh. she tried to do it all as best as she could. she tried to feed herself but she wasn’t doing well in the slightest. she struggled to move, to talk, and to think. “i wish i went to scotland with you.” she sniffled out. “would’ve been safe with my favorite cat.” she giggled softly, as much as she could without croaking out. “i wish i could’ve gotten . . everyone to accept me without dying. i knew that was unrealistic.” unrealistic if she was still alive. she felt as if she had been thrown aside so the cats didn’t have to deal with her. she understood it . . maybe it wasn’t even meant that way, but if it was? she understood it. she had been a damper on everything.

“I’ll catch ya a big rat, don’t worry. And Alonzo caught some rabbits not long ago, they’ll still be good,” he hummed, holding her tight. A pang went through his heart. Her favorite cat? And how terribly he had failed her too. Guilt was wreaking havoc on him, but he kept strong for her. Skimbleshanks might have to been getting older every day, but he refused to let it keep him down. He’d jump and play with the kits, he’d dance his dance, and he’d carry this queen back where she belonged. He gave Grizabella a careful, comforting nuzzle, “Don’t let the kit here ya say that. He might think ya have forgotten about him. Laddie seemed quite taken with ya.” Young Pouncival and Tumblebrutus needed a good example anyway. He kept her going steady, taking on more of her weight as they walked, “I wish ya had gone to Scotland with me. I never should have let ya leave or let the tribe treat ya like that, but I’m goin’ to do my best to make things right. I swear to ya.” It wouldn’t be easy– no one had ever refused the Heaviside Layer before, but this was still Grizabella. She had been accepted back into the tribe whether the other members liked it or not. 

she laughed softly and gave him a slight smile. “i’ll hold you to that.” she joked and patted his shoulder. she was very hungry, so she was obviously just joking with him. “i wish i went too . . maybe i’d look much better.” she laughed dryly. she wished that she got to see scotland before she left. she laughed about the mention of the kittens though. “i . . i failed one kitten, i won’t fail two more.” she assured him. she felt terrible for leaving her kitten. she might’ve been young but she had a hard time excusing it at all. she didn’t know how to be a mother but . . she could’ve learned. “demeter . . i remember back when she was a kitten. i took care of her the best i could then. i . . i feel terrible for everything that happened to her.” she admitted. she blamed herself for that too. she could’ve helped her, saved her in some way. she didn’t deserve the pain she just stood by during. not that she knew it happened. “and bombalurina, of course. it’s hard to see them now when i remember them being so different.” she admitted. bombalurina was always jumpy and soft, and demeter always yelled and was fairly excitable. she didn’t know what happened.

The yellow tabby sighed, “Ya didn’t fail him at all. Ya were too young and the tribe should have been able to pick up the slack without you havin’ to leave.” Jellicles usually raised the kittens as a close knit community anyway. While they usually stayed with parents, it was not unusual to have kits that were not your own in your den, even when you didn’t have kits. He’d kept watch over all of them, more than once. Skimbleshanks thought he might have a talk with Tugger. He knew that the young tom was sore, but Grizabella was as wounded on her heart as she was on the outside. He sighed and kept them both moving, “I’m sure there will be no hard feelin’s. Demeter seemed awfully fond of ya and Bomba will come ‘round.” To be honest, he couldn’t make that second promise. He didn’t know Bombalurina well, but she had still accepted Grizabella, just as she had once been accepted. He’d remind her of that if she gave any trouble. 

“i know you’re right . . but i . . i still hurt him, and i feel terrible for it.” she sighed. she would blame herself till the day she died. unless she got to speak with him again . . she was too scared too. tugger was a very rowdy cat, she had noticed. she didn’t want to mess it all up. “i . . i always tried to keep those girls safe. they may be the reason for some scars but . . i’d be killed before i let a kitten get hurt.” she let herself get hurt for those queens. “i . . i was just happy demeter recognized me. i know . . i know she meant well.” grizabella could recognize that. even if she wasn’t used to the queen being so skittish and scared. “rina . . never really knew what i went through for her. she didn’t need to. as long as she was safe.” grizabella coughed violently before gripping onto skimble tightly. “i just . . oh, how i wish it was all simply easier.” she could dream it, but that doesn’t mean it would be true.

“We’ll talk to him. But for right now, we need to focus on getting you well,” he told her. Tugger could always be dealt with later. The curious cat was rough around the edges, but Skimbleshanks knew he’d come around eventually. He was as soft a newborn kit at heart, in his opinion. Why else would he take such an interest in quiet little Mistoffelees? He sighed and kept walking. They were nearing the Junkyard. It was quite far for a kit or an injured, hungry queen, but it was not really a far walk at all. Still, he had to hold on to her body tightly as she cough, “It will be. Once we get ya home, ya just plan on gettin’ better. Those two kits a-yas can mind themselves and help ya out. Heard them talkin’ about huntin’ for ya before I left.” Pouncival and Tumblebrutus would do well for her, he believed. Then again, Skimbleshanks felt like kits cured all ills when they were good and kind. The Jellicles certainly were blessed with a handful of sweet kits with just enough orney spark in them. 

“glad i’ll get to see you and jenny again.” she smiled. jenny was a bit mean to her, she didn’t really expect it. she still loved jenny, though, she could never stay mad at the cat, even with how terribly she gossiped. grizabella remembered that all too well . . she was very kind about getting you through your problems though. “hunting? i hope they’ll be safe. i’d hate to see kittens in danger.” which is why she had gotten so close to demeter and bombalurina — she was just glad they seemed happy. “i wish i got this scar treated faster . . i . . i would be way better at everything again.” she sighed . . she didn’t think the scar would effect her so much, but it worked quite like a concussion . . but worse, it wasn’t healing. she felt it was infected and it hurt every time she touched it. “would’ve never had to worry if i listened to you for once in my life.” back when she was a . . mischievous, albeit sweet, kitten. she would never listen to him but she loved spending time around skimble. “but i . . i am sorry if i’m a hassle.”

Skimbleshanks didn’t know how Jenny would react. He still hadn’t talked to her about how she had acted toward the queen at the ball. When Grizabella was thought dead, it didn’t seem to matter. If anyone could talk sense into Jenny, though, it was him. Besides, she had probably just been trying to protect the kits. He reached over and gingerly ran a finger over her scar, “How did this happen?” She had had it the night of the ball and it was clearly a source of trouble for her. Part of him wondered if it was Macavity. He sighed and shook his head, “You’re not a hassle.” The Junkyard was in the distance, but at least it was in sight. Skimbleshanks would be happy to get her some rest and some food. And a bath, if he could somehow manage it. He doubted that a normal grooming would do her any good. Maybe he could convince Alonzo to help. 

she sighed when the question was raised. “macavity found out who helped demeter and bombalurina. yeah?” she laughed lightly, coughing a small bit again. he didn’t like when he was deceived, she knew that well, but he wanted to get demeter out of there . . since she was pregnant. he was terrified at the concept of history repeating itself for her. so he helped them escape . . would’ve helped jerrie and teazer if they listened for once. “i’m not? you’re helping me limp back home and you’re going to have to baby me till i feel better. it’s a hassle. more of one then if i went to scotland with you.” she felt like a problem . . but she didn’t like realizing why. she didn’t like thinking about any of it. she wanted to be home . . she wanted it to not hurt when she remembered her past. she wanted . . to be safe again, not dying in an alleyway . . to be a distant memory to the jellicles forever. only to be forgotten one day.

“You’re not a hassle,” he affirmed, “Grizabella, you were accepted back– you’re a Jellicle. And even if no one had touched you that night if Pouncival came to me and gave me your collar, I’d still be here to help you. I’ve not done enough good by ya, lassie.” Things would get better for her even if Skimbleshanks would have to drive them both to the fires of hell. All the kits in the tribe were precious to him– even Grizabella, though she had long since grown. He sighed, “You are going home and you’re going to get well.” He cupped her cheek and then pulled her head to his and kissed her forehead warmly as though he would to any of his own kits.

she smiled at the affection and nuzzled his shoulder. in a familial way. “i . . i can’t get completely well.” she said, referring to her scar. it had started to heal. she couldn’t fix it anymore. it would hurt forever and it . . it pained her. “ l a s s i e, i missed your silly words.” she giggled. she sounded fairly kittenish, but it reminded him of when she was a kitten. she cared about him, and he cared about her. they were always family then. maybe it’ll happen again. she thought about it. “those . . twins, they got here?” she didn’t know that they were skimbleshanks’ kids, she was never told any of that. “i . . i knew them too, back when. i didn’t expect to see them.” she admitted.

It was hard to know that. Not because he blamed or felt she was broken– those thoughts had not even crossed Skimbleshank’s mind–but because he knew it was hurting her. He wished that he had been there. He sighed and told her, “Then we’ll get ya as well as ya can be. Nothin’ wrong with that.” It wasn’t unusual for cats to have injuries that would affect them the rest of their lives. Gus’ palsy had crippled his acting career and Skimbleshanks didn’t know how much longer he could pretend that he could still jump and frolic like a kit. The pretending was more for himself, though, anyway. He gave her a soft smile, “Jerrie and Teazer, ya mean? They’re mine and Jenny’s kits ya know.” Part of him hoped that would make her happy. While the reason she knew his kits was not ideal, they were working on that. Everything would be well soon. 

she smiled when he told her, looking at him with a soft smile. "they . . they were as sweet as they could be. i would think if you’re watching them, they’re okay now. i d o see the resemblance, albeit slightly." she teased with a chuckle. she should’ve realized, she knew that. it was just never a thought to cross her mind. "cats love to stare . . i wish they all wouldn’t simply stare when i came around. i know they will now. feels like a whole lot of eyes judging me and watching me but . . never saying a word." she explained. it was fairly close to what was really saying, and she wished she didn’t have to deal with it, but if she were to keep her promise and . . come back home? it wouldn’t matter then. she didn’t care at that point.