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DEAR READER
Claire Keane
Cosmic Funnies

Love Begins

pixel skylines

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
todays bird
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
trying on a metaphor
noise dept.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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Keni
we're not kids anymore.

Kaledo Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@ashoutoflight
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This was my art school’s water fountain. Drink from them wolf tiddies
Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.
Give it a day
the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic
Explain.
try and tell me literally any one of these would not fit above a short story about two wholly random men from the MCU fingering each other, or possibly 12 chapters of one or more characters from a CW show being in high school while having a photogenic but terminal kind of cancer. try.
ok so i want to say in hindsight i think i could probably have been clearer
Lmao we have to fucking destroy this company are you fucking kidding me with this shit
Google is transforming Search from a list of links into an AI-powered experience filled with conversational answers, autonomous agents, and
Remember that xkcd about how Google searches are shit now? What if we made them even worse for no reason?
I will vote for any candidate who promises to go scorched fucking earth on every tech company. Break every single one of them up into companies based around a single product and then split those in thirds. Weaponize existing antitrust laws to the hilt and pass the most draconian versions of them ever seen on this planet. Nationalize google search specifically. Pass consumer privacy protections strict enough to kill the data harvesting industry for good. Make all of these fuckers go bankrupt for this rent-seeking shit
if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

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Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old
One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism
reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century
That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.
Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years
I think a lot of this comes from the fact that most people don’t know the formal definition of capitalism. We all know the word, we’ve all seen the jokes, but very few people bother to actually define it unless they’re talking about political theory and philosophy, so it’s easy to end up with the impression that Capitalism = Money Can Be Exchanged For Goods And Services.
Capitalism is the economic system where most of the means of production (i.e. everything people need to have to make the stuff that everyone wants) are owned by private individuals or corporations, who then hire people to provide the labor necessary to produce things, with the intent of selling the output at a profit. It’s the difference between “you’re a carpenter and you make a chair and you sell it” and “you’re Richard Q. Richington who owns a chair factory, and you pay people to sell the chairs you paid other people to make and then all the excess money goes back to you.” There have been Richard Q. Richingtons on and off throughout history, but that being the norm for every single industry is a pretty recent development.
An alarming amount of people seem to think capitalism = all trade, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?
a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion
i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one
Revealing the ignorance of my youth here, but who is this and what is she known for?
Anita Sarkeesian, feminist who interpreted media under a feminist lens. She did a series about video games and she was the subject of targeted harassment. That was the start of gamergate
Minor correction, the start of gamergate was based around a different reporter, Zoe Quinn, but they were both absolutely violently threatened over their involvement in video game criticism and development. A hate campaign was started by Quinn's ex-boyfriend when he wrote a post falsely accusing them of dating video game journalists in order to receive positive reviews on their own game, Depression Quest, which led other bad actors to accuse all women in the industry (Zoe identified as female at the time) of perceived sexual immorality. Anita Sarkeesian's brilliant Youtube series Tropes vs Women in Video Games (which everyone should watch, right now) sparked a particular nerve for criticizing popular games of killing and/or victimizing any important female character (there is a CHILLING bit that borders on ludicrous where she describes the plots of a seemingly endless parades of games as "In [title], [male player character's] wife dies, and you then have to rescue [his] daughter."). That series did actually make a huge change in the industry, especially when touted by progressive legacy developers like Tim Schafer (Monkey Island, Psychonauts), who went on to expand hiring in his company to front women and minority voices, but the shift didn't really show for a long time and echoes of the sexism that plagues the industry at its core are still rampant.
In all seriousness, if you live in the US and you aren't familiar with the misogynistic harassment these people in the game industry faced during Gamergate, you need to watch this series right now.
This was the beggining of the current form of the US fascist movement and it underpins the entire thing about it to this day. If you live in the US and Gamergate isn't familiar to you, you're missing critical history to understanding US fascism. I'm not joking even a little bit here, you will understand modern United States fascism so much better if you are familiar with Gamergate.
Not an exaggeration. Gamergate led directly to the redpill/incel movement, which white supremacists exploited and colonized. Not to say that most of the white men in those movements weren't already racist to some extent, but that wasn't an active part of their politics until white supremacist recruiters came along and convinced them that the women ruining their videogames were part of the conspiracy to destroy the white race.
That's a very brief summary but you can go back step by step over the past decade and see how they did it.
I just had an argument with someone who was like “why would we settle for food stamps when we could have universal basic income?”
And it’s just like. People need food right now you know.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Hippie church moms donating quinoa chips to my local food bank have done more for me materially than any internet idealist ever has.
People get pissed at me for being a pragmatist in my political ideals but I’ve been in the position where I was out of food right now.
And who helped me with that? Not people calling for some nebulous revolution. Not people telling me that the system was useless. Not people preaching at me to grow my own food. It was a church food bank partially funded by the state of Texas that some southern hippies donated a bunch of Whole Foods nonsense to.
And you know what? I’m sick and tired of defeatism. What can we get done right now, huh? Are you gonna accept something a bit better to help people right now or are you waiting for your perfect utopia to come to you?
Yeah, UBI is better than the quinoa chips. Sure. But right now the quinoa chips are stopping people from going hungry and if all we can do is get the food bank quinoa chips to more people, then I say so be it. That’s something. I’ll almost always take baby steps over nothing.
Progress only progresses by starting small in your local communities and then reaching wider areas and touching on bigger issues after the fact. It's like Communism (because actually it is). You can't just straight to Communism, you have to go through all the different stages of change first. This is why many countries that have attempted to implement Communism failed, because they did so far too quickly and it immediately collapsed due to not having the proper supports, thus allowing a totalitarian form of government to take control instead.

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Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah
i do love and respect the idea of the world at large being stunned at finding out how long ilya and shane have been together, but i truly think that under NO circumstances would shane ever choose to offer ANY personal details about himself or their relationship willingly.
which combined with ilya loving just making things up and saying them (as seen in the "yes, the rumors are true-" scene) offers the very funny idea that ilya actively tries to offer as much privacy as possible by just throwing out stories about them at random so there IS no central story for people to hound shane about.
assorted backstories a la "ilya just started talking and found out with everyone else where he was going with this":
they got snowed in at all stars one year (b-but wasn't that year in florida?) and decided there was nothing better to do
it started as a bit and neither is willing to give up first
they paired off to combine forces like nato
they paired off to limit how many kids they could have in the future to make sure hockey stayed fair
ilya lost a bet six years ago
shane lost a bet three years ago
ilya got tired of remembering phone numbers for his hookups and shane's is easy
ilya got tired of having to look things up in english and french when talking to other people and decide to marry someone who speaks two languages to save time
shane is gifted enough (wink wink wink) that other people are cowards and only ilya was brave enough to rise to the challenge (this one gets him in trouble on the phone later but it also gets him laid that night at home and also confuses the online speculation about who tops and bottoms, so net positive tbh)
yuna hollander is the best manager in the business and a political marriage was the best way to secure her services longterm
with the end result that all shane has to do is shrug and "my husband has already told our story a thousand times by this point. no point in repeating it and boring people." in interviews to get out of people trying to dig into things he doesn't want to tell them.
imo the term "walkable" in "walkable cities" should be understood to mean "wheelchair accessible" as well, not just literally "possible to walk in". the act of walking in a city doesn't automatically make it walkable
i looooooooove how annoying shane and ilya must be as the two best hockey players in the world just both of them being able to see the game at such an elite level and notice things no one else does and theyre basically speaking their own language to one another and saying things like "i dont even count a hat trick if its on an empty net if the goalie isnt there its NOT a real goal i think they should not count these" "absolutely if theres no challenge it isnt real" "exactlyyyyy" and they will say things like this in front of players who have Zero career hat tricks
hayden is struggling in the postseason and says its bc he is "playing with a broken rib" and privately shane is thinking "okay but just one though jesus christ" and ilya is texting him like "is pike playing on severed legs" "broken rib" "ok???? just one????" and shane is like wow thank god finally someone who gets it

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Ungentrified version
the sandwich with no words is so uncanny. Its like its staring at me, like I was never supposed to peel back the text.
Imagine explaining the concept of a digital footprint to a bronze age shepherd. Not in the "dumb little primitive people could not comprehend such complex technological concepts" sort of way, but imagine how fun and interesting that would be. Like where do you start, what's the most concrete common ground knowledge that you could use for reference and compare things to. Like you know how all the old village grandmas know everyone's shit and gather together to report everyone's children's and grandchildren's shit to each other?
Now what if your nan ran on batteries.
Overmorrow's morrow, there's a scribe in every village. These scribes report to one another, exchange scrolls, and even keep a record of every barter and trade made in the region.
Often, merchants keep their own scrolls. Non-traders may access these scrolls through the exchange of tokens: but, instead of giving a token in payment, a reader must accept a token.
The merchant then makes a note on the scroll that they have given their token to the reader. (As an aside: many people can read and write in the future.)
Every merchant has a unique token. Merchants and scribes recognize the tokens of everyone listed in the scroll, and therefore know which trader(s) sent the reader to them. If they make a barter, they may have an agreement that a portion of the trade shall be shared with the previous vendor.
Merchants freely give out these tokens, though they must ask the reader to accept them first (however, they usually tell the reader that they cannot access their scrolls if they refuse to carry their token, so it is not a question of choice).
Overmorrow's morrow, we call these tokens "cookies". We recommend that readers regularly clean out their pockets, as too many cookies can make their journey heavy. It's not uncommon for readers to end up with multiple tokens given by the same merchant. The order in which these cookies are stacked reveals a lot about the journey the reader has taken- this is one example of how their movements can be tracked, and one of many kinds of "footprint" that we leave on the internet. It is a trail better kept than those of an animal through mud, for it cannot be washed away by rain (though Two-morrow's scrolls are susceptible to decay, though they are made of metal, not paper).
We call it "The Internet" as it is a kind of web, though it is woven with connections and words rather than physical thread. The tools we use to access this Web are similar to scrolls, as they are highly-compact, yet carry a lot of information. So, in addition to gaining access to the merchant's scroll, you can also keep a record on your own personal scroll.
The tool on which I'm transcribing our conversation is called a Mobile Phone, for it is portable (mobile), and it can carry sound over greater distances than anyone could shout or walk in a day.
(Funnily enough, the action of searching through written information is called "Scrolling", though you must imagine that you are unfurling the page as you go, like this... Do you want to try? Yes. It is made of a very fine material. It's called "glass". It can be found in nature, rarely... Have you ever seen lightning strike sand? No? Uhhh.... Have you ever seen an angry mountain? Uhhh, like, the ground was shaking and you thought you angered a god. Sorry, I mean, you angered a god. Uh-huh. It killed your cousin? My condolences. Do you remember what the top of the mountain looked like before that happened? If you get sand extremely warm, it looks like that, and you can stretch it and shape it while it's still warm. Well. No, no, it's fine. I think I'm already messing with the space-time continuum enough by showing you this. Anyway, if you press your finger to this square here- it's a type of pocket. And within it, I can retrieve my own information. It's printed flat.)
Accepting a token on your Phone is sort of like that: there's a hidden pocket, but it can be emptied like any other pocket.
Once reader empties their pockets, or removes the token of a specific vendor, they must ask your permission before giving you a replacement token in the future.
Those who have their information written on these scrolls will often find that destroying the information contained within is not straightforward, as these scrolls are copied across several different Phones & hidden in various caves.
There is a library for those who care to visit it by the name of "Wayback". These librarians believe it is in the best interest of us all if they keep a copy of every scroll, and in every stage of the scroll's creation. This can then be checked against other scrolls in order to see how the information has changed over time.
Anytime someone modifies a scroll, someone might make their own copy and transport it to the library of Wayback. There are other libraries such as this, and anyone with their own scroll, scrolls or scroll-making abilities might make a copy of anything that gets written in any scroll, at any time that they please.
So, a "digital footprint" refers to this. "Digital" is the realm of this unseen Web, and, being unseen, it is much easier to leave footprints without intending to, and much harder to scrub them away.
... On second thoughts, I'm going to have to memory-wipe you now.
#I love how the listener didn't question how when someone touches the glass words appear and disappear on their own
Fortunately for me, they didn't really question it because they were illiterate, so symbols ("fast carvings") appearing quickly wasn't really much of a leap from "This box emits light without being on fire"
Ah, my bad. I should not have assumed they were part of the 0.1%.