Itâs summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick and heâs like âyo, I know about musicâ and Patrickâs like âyo, I know more about musicâ âthatâs impossible. Do You wanna start a band?â And Patrickâs like ââŚyeah⌠thatâs cool.â And then heâs like â yo, this is a book store its not a music store!â And then they met at Patrickâs house. And Patrickâs wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playinâ drums for some fuckinâ reason! And Peteâs there, for some reason! They start playinâ music together. And there like â oh letâs play some fuckinâ covers from some other bands!â It was like, Green day and fuckinâ misfits and fuckinâ Ramones! Pete said to Joe âyo we gotta change this shit up! Yo weâve played all these bands letâs play shit from Fall Out Boy.â And so Pete and Patrick are like âyo, thatâs dope. But we need a fuckinâ drummer!â Because Patrickâs playinâ drums and heâs a singer! And heâs like âyo! I got a soul voice!â And there like âwait, how do you have a soul voice!?!â And heâs like âyo watch this! YEeeeeEeeeeEeeaaaAAAH!â and theyâre like âoh my god! That sounds like soul!â So they put it in the song and it was like âWHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!?!!!?!â And then theyâre like âyo, this is fuckinâ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.â And they made records like, Evening out with your ex-girlfriend. its called evening out with your ex girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesent matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like âYo what the Fuuuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckinâ dooooope!â So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like⌠Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from toto⌠The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, âyo, we need Andy Hurly. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin record it.â And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out! âWe should get signed, to fueled by ramen. Cuz these guys know what the fuck is going on.â And they were like âyo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard. We will sign you guys.â Pete was like â yo! We got this record thatâs fuckinâ dope dude!! Its called, take this to your grave.â Hey, its gonna be called from under the cork tree, its gonna be fuckin huge. And then Patrickâs like "I gotta keep it real,I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called⌠This is called Thanks for the memories, 20 dollar nosebleed, and Sugar were going down..â And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts. Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!! TEN TO ONE! From under the cork tree sold like Four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!!! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like âthatâs gooooooooood!â Pete was like âyo, FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want!â Joe was like âyeah its cool man, whatever⌠I donât give a shit.â And then Andy was like âeh⌠Cool!â And Pete was like âmakeup is fuckinâ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.â Pete was like âoh my god Iâm so embarrassed about this dick pic!â And then I saw the dick pic and I was like âeh, its not bad. Its not a bad dick. Letâs be real.â Panic! At the disco made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. And fall out boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like âyo fuck you guys!â They were like âYO! Panic has the cover of rolling stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! Were gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!â But they didnât! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like âoh shit we got every continent.â And they didnât actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like âWHAT THE FUCK!â oh you didnât fuckinâ make the continent. Its like fuck you! So from under the cork tree happens, we fuckin have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves its so big! So fall out boy was like, so Patrickâs like âyo were gonna name this record from under the cork tree and from infinity in high.â Pete was like âyo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.â Fall out boy was like âyo, we gotta take a breakâ meaning, Pete was like âyo, we gotta take a break broâ and Patrickâs like, âi need time for my music! YAAAAAAHHHH!â And joes like âyo, I need time to find the fuckinâ art dude I gotta find some fuckinâ meau-metal.â And Andyâs like âIâm just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands.â And they were like, âalright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. we gotta fuckinâ come back dude. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. Its gonna be fuckin dope. Its gonna go fuckin sky high. Were gonna make a fuckin record that sails the skies. Were gonna call this record⌠Save Rock And Roll.â So they made alone together, light em up, alone together, phoenix. And everyoneâs like âwhat the fuck? Youâre working with this guy who fuckin recorded avril lavigne and pink!â Pete was like âyo, were gonna end up in tour with Panic! At the disco and Twenty pilots.â And thatâs all. And thatâs all that matters. And thatâs how the fucking story goes.
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