Ashley

I personally preferred the more often shortened essays versus the possible lengthier less often essays. I feel when professors assign longer essays there really is no room for extension of creativity during final portfolio because i feel the longer the first version, the more of my extra creative “boom” is used. Eventually, I feel drained when it comes to see this paper later in the year to revise. Shorter assignments provide me room to improve and try  things or stylistic forms that I learned throughout the year.

I really like a lot of the essays we read this semester, especially the 9/11 one (I’m history buff); however, I really found a lot of the essays unclear in creative nonfiction concept and form style. I’m still really unsure if I could tell anybody which essays were which style except hermit crab and fragment because of their huge difference in style. The biggest thing i took form this class was recreating a tiny memory into a longer narrative which I struggle with. I also took that interweaving of personal experience and research. As a communication major, I love throwing some logos and ethos with my pathos!

[426 Words]

For this week’s critical essay, I chose to look at Lia Purpura’s “Autopsy Report.” I chose to do my essay on this because I found it very intriguing that a human being chose to witness an autopsy. It is not your average experience, which made me extremely drawn to it and the morbidity attached to it. Of all literary foundations in this creative nonfiction essay, I have chosen to look at the purpose of the “Autopsy Report.” I have concluded that Purpura’s purpose was to reflect on the fragility of the human life. This fragility is seen through three aspects of this essay: in the actual autopsy and death, death having no age range, and how life is almost under-appreciated.

Fragility of the human in the autopsy is when Pupura is saying how calm she was watching the scalping folding up, the brain being taken out, and after the scalp was put back into place (407). I felt that despite her calmness watching this happen, she realized how easily the human body can be taken apart, but also was not blinded by this because death happens every day and after the human bodies were just bodies. 

Fragility of death having no age range refers to how death does not have specific for who should die. It does not care because it is death. This can be seen on pages 406 and 407 where the death body was of a young twenty-year old boy from the middle class. His death was not by murder or car accident, but hypertension and possible heroin (406). Purpura sees the fragility of his this young boy did not get to experience fatherhood, “these were sons or fathers or would never be fathers” (407). 

Fragility of how life is almost underappreciated is seen in the final page of the “Autopsy Report” where Purpura discusses everyday experiences in life that could escalate into death, “how a small thing gone wrong need be: one sip, just too many, mere ounces of water in the lungs too much” (410). People in some aspects do not realize how fragile really is and even if they buckle their children, which Purpura notions to in this page, doesn’t mean death can be stopped, but prevented. Purpura learns that even with this in mind, death and life wavering so close together and after seeing an autopsy, she will continue living fully at risk even “after the rain” (410). 

{523 Words] hockey equipment

[304 Words]

Body Bags I watched from my windows two of my neighbors be carted out of their houses in body bags. It was severely morbid seeing the coroner arrive, but also intensely interesting. 

Grandview During the summer, I ride my bike through Grandview Cemetery. The roads are hilly and peaceful with views of Westmont. Sometimes, I like to ride over to the graves of my ancestors and say hi. It is always nice seeing flowers and ornaments dedicated to them after all of this time. 

Heart Attack My paternal grandfather was twelve when his dad died of a heart attack. He left behind three daughters, three sons, a wife, and a farm of animals in Raccoon State Park right past the Pittsburgh International Airport. 

Mortician When I was in high school, my guidance counselor wanted me to job shadow the county mortician. 

Pneumonia When I was seventeen years old I watched my best friend lose her father to pneumonia. After that, I took on the role of a father in some ways to her in my mind; I always checkup on her in school and tell her how proud I am of her achievements. 

Parkinson’s I lost my paternal grandma March of my senior year of high school. She was only seventy-two. Like her father, she died of Parkinson’s. I never my dad cry as he did that week burying his mother and celebrating his birthday. 

Suicide Summer after my junior year of high school I heard the whistles blowing outside and did not know why. I found out later that my classmate committed suicide. My neighbor, the city cop, found him and said there were marks indicating he tried to loosen the knot, but it was too late. 

[360 words]

Of the two essays we read this Tuesday, I decided to do my critical response on Liz Clift’s “The Breaking-Up Game.” For my response, I decided to explain what I believe was Clift’s purpose of writing this essay.  

In this essay, Clift explains the chronology of a typical breakup. This essay in its simplest form is a guide; however, she takes this touchy/controversial subject of heartbreak and cheating and turns it into humor and mostly noting to the essay’s title, a game.

As a purpose of humor, Clift under-exaggerates the effects of a breakup on the primary player, the significant other, and the potential suitor. She does not talk about the psychology of breakup or anything realistically researched. Instead, she just says what do during, before, or after a breakup. She gives acts and expression the primary player, or you the reader, should do. For instance, an example would be “2.) Spend a rainy Saturday emotionally cheating on your SO with Potential Suitor (PS) at a coffee shop, and later at a local park while walking your dog (walk yourselves if you do not have a dog). Tell PS things you’ve never trusted yourself to tell anyone” (Clift). I think in some ways, Clift is showing the perspectives of breakups and how to some breaking up and cheat really is just a game. There is no emotional value or psychological effect of the breakup.

The purpose of this essay as a game is to show the variety and broadness of creative nonfiction as a whole. By formatting this essay as a “game” she like many essayists we have read before are going against the stereotypical five paragraph essay form. Clift is exemplifying that a story does not necessarily need to describe in-depth personal details, but instead, distance that relies on a clear plot, resolution, climax, and other parts of a story. A “game” can be a story. 

In conclusion, Clift’s essay “The Breaking-Up Game” had a purpose of humor of a touchy issue as well showing broadness and variety of creative nonfiction through a gaming format. By doing both, Clift creates a nontraditional essay in terms of format and function. 

[342 Words] In Dinty Moore’s “Son Of Mr. Green Jeans,” he writes about fatherhood.I have chosen to do this piece for my weekly critical writing journal entry because I was truly intrigued by the angle Moore took within his essay. Not only was it fragmented with no clear beginning or end, but also in general, how he wrote about fatherhood.

Within his essay, Dinty Moore barely mentions his own experiences as a father. He only mentions that he was at first apprehensive about being a father, ended up having one child, and eventually got a vasectomy. Though he barely covers his own personal experiences, he mentions fatherhood from the perspective of the child and parent pulling for other humans and animals. He also writes about both fatherhood at its best and worst. 

Though some of these experiences seem loosely connected to fatherhood such as Lauren Chaplin who played the daughter on Father Knows Best, they all tie in together. Laura Chaplin, for instance, struggled with her experiences with fatherhood.Her biological father molested her and her TV dad attempted suicide (Moore, 390 and 392). She never really had a positive experience with fathers. 

Another example of this strange tie was Hugh Beaumont who played the father on Leave it To Beaver. He ties within the fatherhood in two ways. In one matter, he played the ideal father of the 1950s making him a positive father figure for those watched the show; however, on the other hand, he also was coined as someone who hated kids(Moore, 391). 

[346 words]

Family-Oriented

I asked what you were doing Christmas day and Iexpected something about boozing in honor of Christ’s day, but you were not drinking. You were at your parent’s house teaching your dad how to use an IPad. You think it is cute that I want to be a hockey mom and a homemaker. That is cute.

Intelligent

As I sipped my coffee at Starbucks, we talked about Sigmund Freud and clean slates. It was our first date and you were already throwing out biological terms that I would and could never understand. I said I knew about protons and electrons. You told me that was chemistry. I joked they were the same to me. I should have known you would be this way having a perfect on your SATS, 2400.

Passionate

You have found a love for refereeing and even though it drives you far away from me a lot it is okay. You are doing what you love and I could not find that more attractive, somebody with a passion that takes them across the country. Somebody who does not just exist, but lives.

Curious

As we were looking at the tombs of the unknown, I pointed to the big building down the street and told you it was my elementary school. You could have changed the subject, but you did not. You asked about my childhood as if it was a lecture and you would be examined on it. You wanted to know about me. You needed to know about me.

Friendly

Your handshake meeting my father, leaving my parents a thank you for the soup, the little things that add up in my heart.

Loyal

I believe this is so. You have not done me wrong yet. I appreciate it. You do not understand what I have been through, not trying to sound cliché because we all go through things, but thank you anyways. I will return the favor all day, every day. I promise.

[305 words]

The essay I chose to use for my critical essay prompt of the week was “Living Like Weasels” by Annie Dillard. In “Living Like Weasels” the larger ideas or human experiences Annie Dillard explores is the concept of overthinking. This idea comes to exploration due to Annie Dillard’s run-in with a weasel the prior week. Within this essay, Annie Dillard explains her encounter with the weasel and how it leads her to a deep intrigue and research about the weasel and surprisingly, herself.

She begins studying and reminiscing about the encounter with the weasel itself. By doing so, she transcends into actually overthinking the whole situation and how the weasel responded to its encounter with her. She wants to know, “What goes on in [the weasel’s] brain the rest of the time? What does a weasel think about” ( Dillard,150). Unlike the weasel, or from what Annie Dillard knows, the weasel does not or did not think about her after the encounter. The weasel went by natural instinct and runs away. This natural instinct is something Annie Dillard wants to have like the Weasel. She wants to remove her urge to over think and instead she “would like to learn, or remember, how to live” (Dillard, 150).

Simple as it is, the plot of the story is Annie Dillard overthinking. She does not do any large movement in this essay; however, this little encounter with the weasel caused her to have this exploration and revelation. Like a “weasel [who] doesn’t “attack” anything; [who] lives as he’s meant to, yielding at every moment to the perfect freedom of single necessity, she wants to learn and learns from the weasel [Dillard,151]. She in some essence wants to live more by intuition than by thinking and then acting or “attacking” in correlation to something the weasel does not do.

[300 words]The critical prompt I will be responding to is,” What role does setting play in this essay?” The essay I chose to analyze is Ryan Van Meter’s “If You Knew What I Know Now.”

The setting of this personal essay deviates mainly between two scenes/settings: Van Meter’s classmate Mark’s house in sixth grade and Van Meter’s ten-year class reunion. Within these two scenes/settings, Van Meter reflects on the scene at Mark’s house where he catches Mark and another classmate, Jared, pretend kissing. This setting and scene sets the reason why Van Meter writes this essay in particular, a painful moment in childhood and how he was not the only one with pain from this day though he did not realize at the time.

This shared pain is seen at the end of the essay at the class reunion setting. At the reunion, Jared admits “[he was] sorry” and that “we were just asshole kids” (Meter). By apologizing, Jared shows that though he does not relate to the pain Van Meter feels for being sexually mocked and embarrassed, he does empathize and feels the pain of guilt for making fun of Van Meter and mocking him by pretending to kiss Mark. Showing empathy is one of the key pieces to creative nonfiction.

Without the second setting, the essay would not have closer. Not every story needs to have closure; however, it can sometimes make a story seem more believable according to Van Meter (Meter,). Without Jared apologizing, the setting and scene would seem empty and meaningless other than Van Meter maturing and proudly showing of his boyfriend in front of his former classmates. The role of these setting are simple, to show time (sixth grade to a ten-year graduation) does not forget pain of the past that be embarrassment or guilt.

[590 words]

You flirt with the guy with the half-naked girl on his phone. You have already met the second guy with the bird’s beak nose. He is cute. They are both cute. You should not talk to them, actually you should. I mean, you’re just making friendly conversation to kill time; it means nothing. It is just a few seconds of your life.

You go home. You take off that uniform that you sometimes hate. You cannot wait to go home most nights. Nobody could blame you; you are not paid. You check Facebook as you put on your pajamas. It is a ritual these days. Creeping on the exes, liking some selfies, and reading the advertisements that takeover your news feed. You have a message.

“Hi. Hi. It was great meeting you.”

“Hi. You are the short guy kid right?

“I’m not short. I’m 5 “10.””

“More like 5”6.”

“I’m not that short.”

“You’re like sixteen right?”

“I’m twenty-three.”

“I thought you were sixteen.”

“I’m twenty-three. I also am in college. I am a senior at …. studying both ….”

You give him your number. What could happen? He seems genuine. He is somewhat cute, you guess. Days pass, you talk. You talk some more. You talk a lot. You talk every day. You talk unless one of you super nerds are writing papers, practicing speeches, or reading. He wants to “take you out.” You say “sure.”

Last minute, you almost cancel. You drive around the local shopping section and find yourself eager to see if he really came. It was more than just honesty, but distance; he is from one-hundred miles away in your favorite city. The distance never seemed far to you, but it will seem far from now on.

You arrive at Starbucks five minutes late. You dress your best to “attract” an older guy just in case he does show up. You cannot see inside the faded windows, but you open the glass door and he is sitting there.

“Hi.” “Hi.”

As you talk in person, you start to remember that night a little clearer. He was with half-naked and bird’s beak; he is actually their friend. He sat the furthest from you and you overlooked him. You focused too much on his friends. He likes your genetically perfect smile, but his smile is not bad either. It is not perfect at all, but it is cute, it makes him look sixteen like you thought he was.

It was not “whatever” at first sight from your point of view, but it was something. You did not notice him because you were too busy with his friends, but even then, he noticed you. He loves your personality. You feel stupid. You did not see it then, but you do now. Those few seconds of your life changed your life in some way. Maybe not automatic but when it did, it did.

At Starbucks, you discuss Freud. You tell two truths and a lie. Unarguably he pays for the food you barely touched because you were too busy talking with him. You held back that first kiss even though you wanted to kiss him as soon as you walked into Starbucks. You listened about twenty-three years of his life; you realized he was not that short. He might actually be 5”10.”  

[346 words] 

      I decided to do my critical essay this week on Tim Bascom's "Picturing the Personal Essay: A Visual Guide." After reading his article, I will be discussing why I personally feel he wrote it and what a reader should take from it.      As a student for numerous years, teachers have jammed into my mind basic formats on how to do anything. The format could be how to solve the trigonometric slope, analyze a poem, or memorize the periodic table. As I passed grades, the formats always seemed to change in the subject as the type of math, science, or even english and got harder; however, one format stayed the same in english classes: follow the prompt and write a five-paragraph essay. Prompts usually gave me somewhere to start, but personal essays do not really have prompts or key terms that need to be mentioned in the essay. There really is not a format or as Bascom says," The remarkable thing about personal essays, which openly mimic this exploratory process, is that they can be so quirky in their “shape.” No diagram matches the exact form that evolves" (Bascom).       I think this is why Bascom wrote his article, not necessarily to consider there is some shape to a personal essay with complete open ended circles and "plateauless" scenes, but to suggest the same thing the article title initiates toward, there is a guide (Bascom). He didn't say this guide was the only way to write a personal essay, or how to write a successful one, but something to look as help. As a reader, I took, and we should always possibly take, that with a personal essay and creative nonfiction in general, we have the right to express ourselves because the story is our very own story; however, we should still follow some basic format and pieces of stories and essays, introducing, climaxing, and concluding. Without these pieces, the piece is somewhat incoherent, incomplete, and possibly boring.

[364 words] 

     After reading “I’m jumping off the bridge” by Kevin Sampsell I have decided to journal about how he changed over the course of the essay. I think in life, we have all experienced one of those moments, that has changed us in some form or another. This can be positive, negative, or even neutral for that matter, but in Sampsell’s creative nonfiction essay it is a transition from negative to positive. Though many people may find from saving someone’s life a positive thing, or in Sampsell’s case Chris’ life, in doing so, Chris ended up unleashing the dark aspects of his own life in the beginning of the essay. He states that, “my own life was spinning out of control” (Sampsell). He begins to question about his own potential suicide, what he would do if he were at the bridge, to jump, fall, or live.      The negativity continues for days to follow inside and outside of work. He grieves with an old friend, remembers moments where he broke down with girlfriend for no apparent reason, and also, gets asked if he is okay at work. Sampsell is at a low point, despite knowing people do care about him.      Somewhere between breaking up with his long term girlfriend, Sampsell empathizes with Chris who also had a child in which he cares very much; this is the positive transition in which Chris changes by the end of the essay. Sampsell’s son, is the key factor to why he changes. He realizes he was to make his son proud, "I wanted to do more with him. I wanted to teach him how to drive. I wanted to give him money for a date. I wanted to go to his graduations. I wanted to give him advice on something"(Sampsell).      Within his nonfiction, Sampsell learns that even with the negative dark moments of his life, he will choose to live because of his son. As a reader, Sampsell's teaches us, or at least me that sometimes helping another can in effect, hurt us, and then help us. I definitely will consider this more often when I am helping somewhere or someone is confiding in me during something difficult.

[330 words]For my creative journal entry, I decided to choose the four people I would like to take with me into my "boat" which Cheryl Strayed contemplates in her essay. I found this idea  fascinating. For my four chosen people I will acknowledge them in a letter form.

Dear Daddy and Mommy,     I am not choosing one of you before the other. I put your names in alphabetical order. When I heard I could only take four people with me, you two were the obvious choice. You've been amazing parents to me over the years, but also amazing friends. Even at the age of twenty, I can say sometimes that during a difficult time, I "need my mommy and daddy." This is true now. We always planned to go on a cruise; I guess, in a sarcastic way, this is our time.

Dear future husband,     I chose you to be on my boat, for we have chosen each other for better of for worse. As a Catholic, I truly believe in our vows and want to follow through with them. This new journey of our life will most likely be difficult; however, it isn't the end. On our protected homely land or even in these high mysterious seas, our love will prosper.

Dear jack and master of all trades,

All three of my prior choices of people were those who know me, or will know me, best; however, your value is just as high as theirs. I could have chose my best friend, but my logical and intelligent side though otherwise on who to choose. I need someone with knowledge beyond my creativity and innovation. I need someone with extensive talent, physically and mentally speaking. You will guide us on the journey with your skills and hopefully, find a way to return us to land and regular life.