Mostly Star Wars Stuff

...i think it would have to be a word that wouldn’t typically be brought up in sex, and ryan reynolds just simply does not fall under that criteria. 

OH NO

If you…(Rexsoka)

Reupload from twitter and ao3

Possibly the first time I drew Cody and the clones in a doodle....then somehow blew up into an eye-searingly pastel colored comic.

(Warnings: mild angst, friendship, hurt/comfort)

“We survived.” Rex mutters quietly as he drags his vibroblade against the plastoid of his gauntlet

“Yeah.” Fives replies just as quietly

The ARC Trooper holds a holopicture of him and Echo, his arm over his brother’s shoulder, both of them grinning at Hardcase, whom had been the one to take the picture. Of the three men involved in that merry moment, only he still lived.

Rex finishes the fresh tally mark, putting the vibroblade away and looking at how many marks are scattered over his gauntlets. Either the war ends soon or he’ll run out of room to carry the memory of his fallen men on him.

Fives reaches for the bottle between the two of them, pulls its cork out with his teeth, taking a swig with a grimace. Kriff, Rex wasn’t kidding when he said that Corellian whiskey was rough. Good. They both needed some strong booze tonight.

He passes the bottle to Rex, carefully pocketing the holopicture.

“What do we do, sir,” he turns to Rex, watching him take a couple of gulps of the kriffing thing without more than an eyebrow raise at the ARC “After such a disaster of a year? I feel like we barely chipped away at the Separatists’ forces. Meanwhile we lost so much… so many.” Fives swallows down, run a hand over his mouth and down his chin “I feel so tired. Old, even.”

Rex puts the bottle down and stares at Fives wordlessly for a moment to then place his hand over Fives’ armored shoulder. Fives expects the usual C.O. talk - toughen up, we are made for this, this is part of the job, get back on your feet.

But then he watches Rex’s serious expression come undone as his eyebrows arch and his eyes - his eyes that are heavy with exhaustion and marked by dark circles - speak of all his weariness, all his sorrow that he always keeps hidden under his helmet, behind the dark glass of his visor and the jaig eyes of his station.

“I understand it, trooper. I feel the same.” and he makes a small pause to then sigh “It was a tough year. And I can’t guarantee that the next one will be an easy one either. But whatever it is that comes our way… we’ll fight it together. You, and I, and our brothers, we’ll carry each other though it.”

Fives wants to hold his Captain’s gaze, but he has to avert his eyes once his sight becomes blurry with tears. Rex allows him a moment to wipe his eyes and get hold of himself again, and Fives lets out a sniffle, gritting his teeth.

“I’m glad I can count on you to be by my side next year again, sir.” he manages, his throat feeling tight

Rex pats him on his back.

“So am I, Fives. So am I.”

here’s the plot bunny that just jumped out at me:

-Cody is a purge trooper, serving under Darth Vader

-Vader somehow gets ahold of baby Luke, and assigns Cody to Luke personally, with orders to protect Luke at any cost.

-Cody is a good soldier

-Cody follows orders

-Cody decides that Luke’s current situation is, in fact, not safe. Partially because the Emperor clearly intends to train Luke as an apprentice and Cody can see what that did to the last guy (there is no way Cody doesn’t know who Vader is), partially because children need things like “friends” and “positive role models” and “houseplants”, partially because of Vader himself (Cody’s like “wow this possessive obsessive murderous asshole’s gonna give this kid so many daddy issues”)

-Cody yeets himself and Luke the hell out of there

-Cody proceeds to find the safest, most supportive, most house-plant-y place he can to raise Luke, because Cody takes his orders seriously

-Cody gets really offended whenever anyone suggests that he deserted or is on the run from the Empire, because he’s a LOYAL SOLDIER who’s just FOLLOWING ORDERS

-When Luke joins the Rebellion, Cody does too, because he’s still gotta protect Luke

-he insists that he is still a loyal soldier of the Empire, and for all intents and purposes, he is, he’s just, on special assignment.

-When Rebellion leaders express concern about the Purge Trooper actively professing loyalty to Vader and Palpatine, Luke’s like “oh lmao don’t worry Dad’s just like that”

-Rex is so confused and pissed off

-but also happy

-Above Yavin IV, Cody manages to steal a TIE fighter and hovers aggressively behind Luke, shooting the shit out of anyone who comes near him

-Luke is on Bespin. Vader is on Bespin. Vader is dueling Luke and taunting him about the Dark Side. Vader is about to disarm (and dis-hand) Luke. Vader gets fucking tackled by a purge trooper, out of fucking nowhere. Cody just. fucking YEETS himself on top of him, punches him a couple of times, then grabs Luke and books it.

-Vader is so confused

- “was that fucking CODY”

-he thinks Cody’s betrayed him

-he starts trying all the old secret communication channels that imperial spec ops has

-he gets ahold of Cody

-Cody is more than happy to give him a mission update, and is confused and offended when Vader accuses him of treason

- “I’m following orders sir you said to protect him and that’s what I’m doing”

- “you STOLE my SON”

- “I removed him from an unsafe situation and cut contact with individuals likely to have a negative impact on his emotional wellbeing”

- Vader has zero chance of winning this argument, Cody has an entire library of parenting books and child psych texts to throw at him

-anyway fast-forwarding to the Battle of Endor

-Luke and Vader face off again with Palpatine being an evil cackling shit in the background

-Luke has decided that since Cody is “dad” Vader can be “father”

-Luke getting zapped by Palpatine, “Father please, help me”

-Vader having an existential crisis

-out of fucking nowhere, Cody just full-body tackles Palpatine and yeets him into the reactor shaft

-Vader: “…I was gonna do that”

-Cody: “glad to hear it, sir. Keep it up and I might consider weekend visitation rights”

-Cody’s black armor is not Vader’s fault. It’s Cody’s. The Empire was majorly shaking up the army’s aesthetic and Cody is always a man On Top of fashion trends, and he saw Vader’s armor and went “pffft i could wear that better”

-when Vader said “protect Luke at any cost” Cody interpreted that literally and persuaded Vader to set up an untraceable bank account with a truly absurd amount of money in it. After Cody absconds with Luke Vader can see money coming out of the account but he has no way to figure out what Cody’s buying or where he’s buying it and it pisses him off so much

-Obi-Wan is still alive in this timeline. he’s been trying to track Luke down but because Cody is Very Good at his Job he doesn’t find him until after Endor

-actually i think it would be very funny if Obi-Wan showed up literally right after Endor, while they’re all having their celebration. Vader is there. Cody is hovering menacingly right behind Luke, who is trying to get his Dad and his Father to get along (Cody is confused because as far as he knows, he and his commanding officer are on perfectly cordial terms)

-Cody’s like “oh HEY obiwan” and immediately tries to kill him because technically speaking no one ever revoked order 66

-Luke still finds out that Vader is his father via Dramatic Reveal on Bespin. he’s upset that Cody didn’t tell him. Cody didn’t tell him because clones don’t have fathers so it literally never occurred to him that it might be relevant

-Cody absolutely follows Luke to Jedi Swamp Camp on Dagobah. 

-Of course, he immediately tries to kill Yoda. Luke’s entire jedi training takes place on the move, as he and Yoda are fleeing through the swamp while being stalked by an Imperial Purge Trooper

-Luke still texts w/ his dad every night tho, to let him know he’s okay and having fun at Jedi Swamp Camp

-Cody’s like “okay honey don’t forget to eat ur snacks also you should be more careful about breaking vegetation i know exactly which direction you’re heading XOXO”

-Han Solo legitimately bails on the Rebellion because Cody gave him the Galaxy’s Most Intimidating Shovel Talk

-it only lasted about 5 minutes tho because Cody hauled him back because Luke would be sad if he left

-Luke finds out Leia is his sister. Cody finds out he has another kid to take care of. (Cody is fully capable of interpreting “protect my son” as “protect my offspring of indeterminate gender” because clones only ever had a vague understanding of gender anyway)

-Luke doesn’t inherit his father’s lightsaber from Obi-Wan. Instead, Cody hands him a lightsaber that he just happened to have lying around and told him “this belonged to some dipshit who couldn’t stop dropping it. I’ve added a wrist strap for you.”

-in this au, Luke’s fighting style involves a lot more bodily contact, because of reasons

-Leia asks Cody about her biological parents, since Cody knew them before the empire

-Cody: “your father was a dramatic idiot. Your mother was a dramatic idiot, but more compact.”

-during Luke’s childhood, Cody was absolutely that overly involved PTA parent who bullied everyone into making cookies for the school bake sale

-he was also the parent who organized playdates and volunteered to chaperone all the field trips

-Luke’s first teacher deserves a fucking medal because during the first parent-teacher conference of the year a fucking Purge Trooper shows up and sits down and starts asking questions like “is Luke getting adequate social support in your classroom” and “what changes should we make at home to support Luke’s education” with a very serious face.

-Cody has difficulty helping Luke with his homework because it’s not like they ever taught clones things like history or writing or literary analysis

-Return of the Jedi, Act 1. Scene: Sarlacc Pit. Cody’s mostly sitting back because he and Luke came up with the “backflip off a diving board over certain death while R2 yeets you your lightsaber” plan and he’s very confident in it

-however

-Boba Fett comes zooming in to do some fuck shit

-and immediately gets tackled by Cody, who just throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and hauls him away going “idiot little brothers need to quit touching my shit”

-Boba is immediately overtaken by childhood instincts and goes “i am OLDER THAN YOU” before he even realizes who’s carrying him

-Luke’s preschool teacher: “and uhh how old are you, Mr. Trooper?”

@midnightmeatsubway i made a brainstorming doc bc i’m apparently writing this now and i have decided that Cody never actually gets his chip removed because it’s funnier that way. Like, Rex ties him down and the surgeons try, but for ~obscure medical reasons~ it’s too risky bc it would probably kill him like Tup’s did. So Order 66 remains in full effect for Cody until Vader officially revokes it after Endor. And then he offers Cody a formal discharge with full honors. Cody’s like “it’s been an honor serving with you sir” and then the moment he’s no longer legally under Vader’s command he just, decks him right in the face because he’s been wanting to punch Anakin literally ever since he met him. 

Cody still tries to kill obi-wan on sight, though, just for old time’s sake. Only difference is now they can sit down for tea after.

-Cody gets to retire back to whatever planet he raised Luke on, and he brings Rex and Wolffe with him because Seelos sucks. Luke ends up founding his Jedi Summer Camp less than an hour away.

What Jedi say: Emotions lead down a dark path.

What Jedi mean: Calm your tits before you hurt somebody.

What Jedi say: The Force shall reveal the time for action.

What Jedi mean: Nah.

What Jedi say: I sense darkness in you.

What Jedi mean: Hey, asshole.

What Jedi say: The Force works in mysterious ways.

What Jedi mean: That’s the worst question I’ve ever heard.

What Jedi say: I will meditate on your words.

What Jedi Say: All is as the force wills it

What Jedi Mean: I don’t even fucking know man. No one died tho so it’s probably fine.

Addendum by Captain Rex;

What Jedi say: Use the Force

What Jedi mean: Y E E T

Addendum by Commander Gree

What Jedi Say: The path ahead of you is clouded

Happy Holidays! 

Baby, it’s Hoth outside.

Jango: an baby

Kaminoans: ...just. Just the one infant? That’s all? Are you sure?

Jango: jus... an babie... thats it... a bby. S’all I want. Gimme a baby

Kaminoans: are. Are you feeling okay, mr Fett?