“Design is Everything!”

Shane Hollander routinely uses sunscreen(for safety against skin cancer) and washes his face with a sensitive skin friendly soap in the shower. He uses the same bar for his entire body.

Beyond that his smooth skin is entirely coincidental. Ilya is very jealous of this. Ilya wears hair products, styles himself meticulously and has tried multiple skincare routines. None of which are giving him the supple skin he desires.

The first time Ilya goes to Shane's real apartment and not the sex condo he is outraged by the number of unused samples of skincare products, mostly because these brands are choosing to work with Shane when he knows for a fact that Shane does nothing to properly take care of his skin.

Shane's bathroom sink is barren.

Shane *enters Ilya's bathroom*: why do you have so much clutter in here

Ilya *outraged*: is not clutter Hollander we did not all climb out of womb and become world's prettiest man by accident

Shane *having no filter*: why do you bother with it if it doesn't work?

so the friendship is based on the fact that in some way both parties think the other man is beneath them. hayden is trying to take on a paternal older brother role because he thinks shane is awkward and lonely and in need of straight male guidance, and in that guidance he never made any space to actually get to know shane because he’s so busy trying to show shane how to be a regular man. and shane is going along with it because all he’s ever wanted is to be a regular man but also, god he can’t imagine anything more pathetic. and so the cracks start to show once shane starts bucking against hayden’s guidance because shane doesn’t WANT to be like hayden. shane doesn’t LIKE hayden. shane has never liked hayden, and hayden has never liked shane, that was never what the relationship was about.

shane “hockeytism” hollander HATES when a ref makes a bad call. this is literally your job and youre fucking it up?? that was not slashing are you blind?? he gets heated about this, even when he’s just watching a random game. he’s shouting and cursing and making a well-informed case for why the ref is wrong.

Me:

Me: