They call me homewrecker

Still Alive But I'm Barely Breathing || Eller

She walked over to the door that was waiting for her and she got in the cab and slid over to make room for him. She looked at him as he told the driver where to go. She then sat back and looked out the window enjoying the silence. She drowned in her thoughts and unconsciously leaned against his shoulder closing her eyes trying to rest a little before they would arrive. She placed her hand over his that was on her shoulder and she laced their fingers together. She felt her heartbeat quicken but decided to ignore it. She continued having her straight face and looked out the window as the light of the city passed quickly. She bit down on her lip playing with the skin on her lip as she was thinking about everything. She didn’t know how anything would turn out and it bothered her.

Feeling her lean her head against his chest, Asher kept her close, intertwining their fingers together and feeling an unusual feeling of calm wash over him. This situation wasn't exactly ideal, and it would be hard, but he could help her. They were okay as long as they were together, and thinking back to all the times he tried to survive without her, he knew that was truer than ever. It didn't take long for them to reach the airport that sat just outside the city. It was later, traffic was calmed from the earlier rush hour, and he was thankful for that. Soon, the cab pulled up in front of of the gate, and Asher squeezed her hand to let her know they had to get up. Reaching for the door handle, he opened it up, handing the cab driver a fifty from his pocket and not bothering to collect the change. "Come on, Els." he said in a quiet voice, climbing out of the car and waiting for the trunk to pop open, grabbing their bags.

Still Alive But I'm Barely Breathing || Eller

She nodded not wanting to talk about her father anymore. She gave his hand a squeeze back before letting go as he carried the bags. She was in the elevator as it went down to the first floor. She looked at him and saw that he was already looking at her. She sighed and looked away already expecting this kind of behavior. The elevator opened the she saw the lobby. She walked out and made her way out of the building. She walked toward the trunk of the cab and knocked on the trunk. It then popped open and she opened it wider and looked at Asher and waited for him to come with the bags. Who knew how long they would stay, but she just wanted to leave after the funeral. She didn’t want to stay there any longer than she should’ve. She just knew that no matter what it wouldn’t be fun. 

Asher saw her look back at him, clearly exasperated by his gaze. He just couldn't help it, he was worried. He wasn't sure how this would affect her, or what she was feeling. She was a closed book when she wanted to be, and it made it very difficult for Asher to know what to do. Following Ellie out of the elevator, they made their way outside, finding their cab immediately. As the trunk popped open, Asher set the two bags inside, closing it and moving towards the back door. Opening it and waiting for her to get in, he slid in after her, shutting the door and directing the driver to the airport. The cab driver didn't ask them any questions, thankfully, so the car fell into a quick silence, only the dull rumble from the engine filling the space with sound. Keeping an arm around her side of the seat, he absentmindedly grazed his knuckles over her shoulder, rubbing soft circles into her skin.

Still Alive But I'm Barely Breathing || Eller

She felt the weight from her hand disappear and looked up to see him carrying her bag. “The cab is downstairs.” She informed him. She made her way to the elevator pressing on the button and leaned on the wall as she waited for the elevator to come. She began to just think of how the funeral would be. It would either be weirdly quiet, or expectedly loud and chaotic. She looked up at him, “… It sucks my dad won’t get to meet my future husband.” She spoke. She wanted to reassure him that this didn’t exactly change anything at all. That they were still the same, it’s just that she isn’t going to be the same. Not for a while. She sighed as the elevator rang and she walked inside it and placed her hand over the doors so that they wouldn’t close on Asher. 

Glancing over at her as she spoke, he felt the thickness in her voice, heard it's monotone quality. Nodding, he sighed, rubbing the stubble on his chin as they waited for the elevator. The hallway air was still, a little cold, but definitely not as bad as her apartment. Although her words caught him off guard, Asher couldn't help but feel relieved, hearing that things were clearly still the same. "I would've loved to meet him." he said in a soft voice, reaching over to give her hand a quick squeeze before the elevator door opened. Picking up his bag in one hand and hers in the other, he started into the elevator after her, setting down the bags and leaning against the back wall, keeping his eyes on Ellie the whole time. He knew it was probably annoying, but he wanted to make sure she was okay, or at least as okay as she could be. Tucking one hand into the pocket of his coat his fingers unexpectedly bumped into the small, black box that sat inside. Closing his eyes for a moment, he realized he'd almost forgotten about it, and immediately he pulled out his hand, letting it drop to his side.

Still Alive But I'm Barely Breathing || Eller

She closed the door once he was fully inside. His face was hard to read, but she didn’t let it worry her. She looked at him as he turned towards her and she just continued looking at him. Her thoughts too cloged up to even try to say anything. She looked to the side as he looked down for a moment before looking back at him and watched him as his expression seemed, concerning almost. She watched him take a step closer and just stood there. She didn’t move, neither did her expression change. She heard his voice finally after the silence that seemed to last almost forever. She felt his skin against hers and she swallowed the lump that suddenly grew in her throat. She nodded, “Yeah.” She said normally and nodded. “I’ll go get my bag from inside.” She said and walked into her room closing the door behind her and picked up her bag. She looked back at her room that was a mess. It almost looked like a murder scene. Glass broken on the floor, black marks from her make up all over her desk from having to do her make up over and over again since it wouldn’t stop running. She left her room as it is and closed the door behind her. She walked out to him carrying her bag and opened the door making her way out. She turned and waited for him to step out so that she could lock the door, “C’mon.” She said her face still the same. She knew that even if she did try to smile, she would end up crying and she didn’t want to cry. She cried a river, literally. She during the funeral, she just wanted it to be a joke, a big joke that her family pulled just to get her to go back home. But they weren’t the type to joke about stuff like that. Never would they do it. But she only hoped.

Watching her expression, he waited for any sign of emotion, anything at all, but got nothing. That definitely worried him, Ellie keeping everything inside, putting on a brave face. He knew what that did to people, what it did to him, making him lash out and blow up. Bottling up things like that, you started to feel like a ticking time bomb, like you could just lose it at any time and you wouldn't be able to stop yourself. It wasn't a good idea for anyone, but he wasn't about to counsel her on the subject. She had a right to grieve however she felt right, so he left it alone. Nodding as she departed to her room, Asher put his hands in his pockets, waiting for her to come back out. The apartment was dark, feeling cold and ominous. Standing there waiting, he started to think back to his mother's funeral, imaging how Ellie would react at her father's. Finally, she came back into the room carting her suitcase. Following her out, he wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind, so he stayed silent. Waiting for her to lock the door, Asher took her bag, not giving her a chance to protest before starting down the hallway, keeping an eye on her to make sure she was still by his side.

hmm..

Still Alive But I'm Barely Breathing || Eller

Ellie was already packed. She started packing right after she got the phone call. She got the tickets recently and they were gonna leave today. She had make up on, but it wasn’t a lot. Just mascara and eyeliner. Once they got there they would be off to the Wake. It would start right when they had arrived. She put on black yoga pants and a black tank top since she didn’t feel like wearing a black dress on the plane for two hours and be uncomfortable. She decided to tell Asher to go to her house since they would be leaving soon. She zipped up her bags after making sure everything was in it. She sat down and put her head in her hands trying to gather herself together. She took a deep breath and heard the door knock. She looked up and got up walking to the door. She stood there for a good second placing her hand on the knob. She didn’t feel anything, everything just felt absorbed from her and it just…. it felt better than hurting. She opened the door and looked at him, “Come in.” She said opening the door wide enough for him to go inside. 

As soon as the door opening, Asher fought to hide the look on his face. He knew nothing was worse then that look of pity, and he didn't want for her to see that in his face. Trying to conceal the remnants of it, he looked up to see her standing there, her face so blank it looked almost emotionless. Nodding, he picked up his suitcase, walking in and talking a few steps in the doorway before setting it back down. Turning towards Ellie in the dark apartment, Asher waited silently, his lips pursed. He knew that Ellie would try to be strong, put on a good face. It always seemed to be her defense mechanism. Looking at her with sad eyes, he put a hand in his pocket, unsure of what to do, of what to say. Asher had never been good with consoling people, and it was beginning to be painfully aware to him now. Looking down at the floor for a moment, he looked up to try and gage her expression, although there still seemed to be a lack of one. Sighing, he took a step forward, closing his eyes for a second before trying to give her his softest expression. "Hey," he said, reaching out to run his hand along her arm. "You ready?"

hmm..