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:)
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@ashanddustandcrows
Going to bed with nothing more in my stomach than brandy, antidepressants, and a can of pringles
:)

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Virgil’s Curse of “Your Actions Have Consequences”
To catch your enemy in a web of their own making; expose them for their lies, deceit, abuse, or other bullshit for which the consequences are misfortune, misery, and perhaps even ostracization for their actions.
This is a very strong, multifaceted spell. Use it wisely, protect yourself, and most importantly: Find some comfort and maybe even some joy in the fact that your target has what’s coming to them, and they will soon be seen for who exactly they are.
Items:
Black box with mirrors lining the inside. (this can be as fancy or thrifty as you want. You can use a wooden box with mirrors lining the inside. You can line a shoebox with aluminum foil and paint the outside black. You can make a box out of black paper and glue some pieces of mirror or other reflective coating to the inside. Jars can work too: As long as your vessel can be painted black, is sealable, and has some sort of reflective interior, you’re good to go.)
Hematite: attract negativity
Garnet: so others may see them for what they are, and side with you
Sulfur powder: for chaos, cursing, attracting negativity to target
Black Pepper: to cause trouble
Cayenne Pepper: to bring about pain, anxiety, and strength to the spell
Red pepper flakes: To injure their pride, attract misfortune, cause pain
Thistle thorns: to stick the curse to the target, fill their lives with sharp, hurtful experiences, and to promote helplessness (anything pointy and sharp will work fine. I used thistle from my yard specifically because it’s a blight on my garden, a nuisance, and hurts like hell every time I try to pull them up even while wearing gloves, which is exactly the vibe I’m going for here)
Foxtails: To stick the spell to the target, to be a nuisance, to cause discomfort (once again, anything that fits this description works fine. Thistles, thorns, burrs, anything that likes to stick to you and your pets and is a pain to get off will work.)
Lavender: depression, restlessness
Rosemary: taint their dreams, cause paranoia, cloud their vision
Ginger: bitterness, strengthen spell
Coffee beans: awaken the target, strengthen the spell, promote anxiety and insomnia
Dragon’s blood incense and ash: bring unwanted attention, expose them for who they are, destroy all that’s good in their life, adds additional power to your spell
Black fabric
Red thread
Red or black candle
Paper with name of target
Optional: Paper with sigil of of your choice (can be for misfortune, misery, revenge, exposure, anything really.)
Steps:
1: Gather up all your materials before beginning.
2: Set your wards or protections, cast a circle, do whatever it is that helps you set the intention of the spell while protecting yourself. Now is a good time to light your Dragon’s Blood incense to not only set the tone and start the spell, but also give you time to collect the ashes.
3: Write your target’s full name and alias(es) on a piece of paper.
3b: (optional) if you also choose to use a sigil, write this on a piece of paper as well
4: Get the fabric, and fill with the herbs, spices, ash, and papers.
5: Tie the bundle together, tie off with red thread. Make sure it is mostly ball-shaped. Seal with candle wax if needed.
6: Draw a face on the fabric, preferably a face you imagine your target making when met with the consequences of their actions. Envision your target while doing so. Envision your target being filled with discord, misery, negativity, pain, etc, and drawing unwanted attention for all that they have done.
7: Draw an ear on the side of the head. Whisper into the ear the things you want them to feel guilt, pain, misery, and chaos for. Tell them the things you want them to constantly hear within their own head. Tell them everything you wish you could say to their face. Be mean. Be vicious. Be furious. Be petty. Target their insecurities, fears, and weaknesses.
8: Place the bundle and stones inside the black mirrored box.
9: Before closing the box, recite the incantation below.
Let -name- be tangled by the web they made
Let them struggle like never before
Let them be exposed for who they are
Let them feel all that lies in store
The web is one of their own making
Woven from their own lies
Discord will follow close behind
‘Til their every hope and dream dies
All that’s good within their life
Will sour, fester, and rot
Misery befalls them with no reprieve
From their own actions, brought
Let -name- be tangled by the web they made
Let them struggle like never before
Let them be exposed for who they are
Let them feel all that lies in store.
10: Close the box, seal with red or black wax.
11: The spell is done. Now is the time for some cleansing and self-care.
When you feel the curse is done or the target has suffered enough, reopen the box, burn the bundle, and cleanse the box for later use.
Tips and Tricks:
This is a personal recommendation, but I find it helpful to handle the box while wearing sunglasses as it offers protection from the reflection of the curse coming back to you while opening, casting, and cleansing.
It’s almost every day, I think about it again. The burning sting as I drag the razor across my skin. The crawling, oozing warmth as blood pools from the cuts lining my arms.
On bad days.
On good days.
Great days, too.
It never goes away.
The pain doesn’t go away. Sadness lingers to fill the emptiness. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel this urge to bleed.
It never ends, does it?
Just to be a priority would be beautiful

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I love how according to my therapist, my depression is ‘in remission’.
I still want to die. I’ve only gotten better at hiding it.
everyone thinks i’m doing so much better but really its getting kinda bad again
28.6.21
deep inside I'm already dead.

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When I die please don’t come to my grave and sit there for hours and tell me you love me and miss me because those are the things I wanted to hear when I was alive.
Everyone around me are growing up and getting their lives together but I can’t even get out of bed.

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I’m just tired.. really tired all the time and I wish these thoughts would go away again.. wish that they never would’ve came back..