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The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

Refusal of the Call

i should quit my job and search for the golden ant

its actually going pretty well

i think ppl would be a lot happier and better-adjusted on here if they realized that being online on a website is like being in any other casual public space full of people. if u walk into walmart u dont immediately think to yourself “i have to be friends with everyone in this walmart and if not everyone likes me i’m a failure” and u really shouldn’t feel that way online either. likewise if there’s a guy in the walmart parking lot shouting obscenities u probably wouldn’t answer him and that’s literally an exact equivalent to some of the weird stuff that people on here seem to feel they’re obligated to respond to.

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

i wouldn't necessarily have a problem with seeing a doctor whose name was dr skull. but if his office was in a cave i'd be alert for signs of a lair

stupid running joke i love is how every single splatoon campaign has some moment where the idols are like "surely you recognize us, the world-famous squid sisters/off the hook/deep cut" and the player character just. doesn't. because normally the punchline of this sort of joke is that haha they aren't actually that famous, they just have an overinflated sense of ego, but that is demonstrably not the case here. these are actual bona-fide megastars who just so happen to keep enlisting god's most autistic soldiers. the universe is conspiring against them to find the single most out-of-the-loop person in the world at any given moment and send them to save the day. this rocks. i hope they never stop pulling this shit