Secret Obsessions Of A Shy Mind

Summary: 1952. A lost boy without a home, Killian Jones rides America’s back roads on his motorcycle, searching for a purpose that’s just out of reach. This pit stop was only supposed to be a few days, a couple of weeks at most, but a pretty blonde waitress just might be his salvation. Is he brave enough to let her? Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

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A/N: I’m pleased to present my contribution to the CS Rewrite-a-thon! Big thanks to the organizers at the @captainswanbigbang​ for organizing this. This is an expansion of a oneshot I wrote a couple of years back called A Sunlit Night, and I loved the chance to get back into the feel of that piece. The fic title is from “Moon River”, which didn’t exist in 1952, but some things are about the aesthetic and it fit too well to resist.

Special thanks to my beta, @thejollyroger-writer​, and to @snidgetsafan​ and @profdanglaisstuff​ for the extra eyes and helping me work through some hurdles along the way. 

Tagging the usuals. Let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the list! 

@kmomof4​, @aerica13​, @thisonesatellite​, @searchingwardrobes​, @let-it-raines​, @teamhook​, @ohmightydevviepuu​, @optomisticgirl​, @winterbaby89​, @spartanguard​, @scientificapricot​

Enjoy - and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

Storybrooke, Maine could be any town in America — just as picturesque as the name suggests in a way that doesn’t seem quite real. The houses have picket fences and boats bob in the harbor and there’s an honest-to-god Main Street, lined with a diner and a general store and a pharmacy with advertisements for Ovaltine in the window. It’s every picture of America that’s ever made its way across the pond, every stereotype of small town life made real. It makes his presence all the more jarring; loners on motorcycles don’t belong in this picture-perfect magazine print town. 

He never meant to stop here — in fact, it’s the kind of little hamlet Killian doubts anyone ever means to find themselves in. Though he may not have planned on stopping — not here, not anywhere, not for anything — he also hadn’t planned on the noise his bike’s engine had started making as he cruised down backroads under the emerald canopy that is rural Maine in June. Killian is used to making minor repairs to the machine — it’s inevitable with the miles he’s putting on the motorcycle, and besides, there’s things you pick up in a war, especially when he spend much of World War II criss-crossing Europe in his plane — but for all of his handy skills, he still can’t make parts materialize out of thin air.

And so, he finds himself in Storybrooke — the nearest town, according to the road map he’d picked up at a welcome center on his way into the state. He’ll find a garage, he’ll work for parts, he’ll be on his way. It should be simple; a few days, a week at most, and then he’s gone again.

(The sooner, the better, in his opinion; a woman wiping down tables outside of the diner shoots him a dirty look, and Killian can’t help but feel like he deserves it for disrupting this idyll they’re living in.)

thank you anon! you’re a girl after my own heart. i’d love to talk off anon if you’d like. this trope is irresistible. writers, this trope is under-done and exciting!

Babysitter!Killian

Quite the Au Pair by @nowforruin [Emma has never been one to ask for help – and she has a damn hard time accepting it when it’s offered. But the truth of the matter is, being a single mother is hard. When she places an ad for a nanny, he’s the last thing she expects - and exactly what she needs. ]

full-time and jealous by @thejollypirate [based on the prompt: If you have time can you write a fic where Killian is the nanny and Emma is the single mom and he falls in love and maybe jealousy from his part but happy ending please?]

Killian babysits Henry

We Can’t Be Friends by FluentSarcasm [Emma Swan & Killian Jones have been best friends for over 15 years when she gets pregnant by her boyfriend Neal. When Neal dumps her and dies soon after, Killian steps in to help her raise Henry. Emma’s realization that she’s been in love with Killian all along forces her to admit that maybe she doesn’t want to be just friends anymore.]

For Once, Let Go by @whisperofgrace [Modern AU. Emma picks Henry up from her long-time friend Killian’s house after her job has turned his short babysitting role into an overnighter.]

Please, Please Say You Feel It Too by @cutieodonoghue [captain swan modern au; Emma pawns her son off to her neighbor Killian. Romance ensues. (Daddy!Killian feels abound!) ]

On Outstanding Roommates by @effulgentcolors [Based on this tumblr prompt: “you’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “i’ll go” i feel like we might as well be married.“ ]

Not A Babysitter by @effulgentcolors [Based on this tumblr prompt: "i asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again”. ]

Here, my favourite multi-chaptered Captain Swan Fanfics…. They’re classics, so you’ve probably all read them, but I think re-living these two special characters is something we’re going to need soon…. 

Alternate Universe - Modern

Read All About It by Kymbersmith90 - Using Twitter to ask an actual princess on a date may not have been Killian’s best idea… until it was.Part 1 of Royal Realities  

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7924948/chapters/18110287

Warm Nights & Firelight  by Oubliette14 - When in the wake of a messy breakup Emma makes the impulsive decision to return home to her parent’s ranch in the Rockies, she certainly doesn’t expect to find a strange Irish guy living in what was once her apartment over the garage, and she definitely doesn’t imagine that the home she couldn’t wait to be rid of five long years ago would be the very place her heart begins to heal. 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11025589/1/Warm-Nights-Firelight

To Make Your Heart Race by fergus80 - Killian “Hook” Jones is NASCAR’s bad boy, who is forced to do some community service to clean up his act. Emma Swan is the counselor at the local Children’s shelter who is done with men and relationships after her latest in a long stream of nightmares.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/5619112/chapters/12944908

Poem Without Words by totheendoftheworldortime79 - Looking to make some extra money, college senior Emma Swan takes a post as a model for Professor Killian Jones’ art class. Sparks fly on both sides. Will they give into temptation?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3973093/chapters/8914423

Heart By Heart by totheendoftheworldortime79 - Emma Nolan, rich, famous, heiress to Nolan Tech, frustrated by her life, unable to get anyone to take her seriously as a businesswoman, flees to her New York life for Hawaii. A chance meeting with grad student-turned-mechanic Killian Jones might change her life forever. If she lets it https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10924345/1/Heart-by-Heart

The Lost Boys by niniadepapa - He’s the charming, out of control frontman of one of the most successful bands in the world. She’s a hard-working rising actress. Sometimes it’s hard to find out what’s real and what’s make-believe when fame’s in the game. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8975354/1/The-Lost-Boys

Walking In A Straight Line by msgenevieve447 - It’s one of the oldest stories in the book. Two old friends have a few too many drinks, two old friends share a kiss. Happens all the time, right? But what happens when only one of them actually remembers it? (Captain Swan AU, with a side order of Snowing, mention of Emma/Walsh) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10957085/1/Walking-in-a-Straight-Line 

The Trouble With Faking It by nowforruin - Killian Jones is one drunken mistake from never setting foot on a movie set again. Enter Emma Swan, the woman his manager has paid to pretend to date him and clean up his image. It seems straightforward enough…but there’s always trouble with faking it. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11228500/1/The-Trouble-with-Faking-It

Wedded Bliss and Asterisks by EmilyBea - Emma Swan is an enemy of love who just happens to be an up and coming wedding dress designer. She’s convinced that true love is nowhere in her future but then she meets Killian Jones, whose magazine is covering the opening of her new boutique. Suddenly Emma finds herself drawing up new plans for her life, ones that seem to all be leading towards her own form of wedded bliss. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12295382/1/Wedded-Bliss-and-Asterisks

Search and Rescue by onceuponajollyroger - When Killian Jones, a rescue swimmer for the US Coast Guard, pulled Emma Swan from the unforgiving sea he had no idea she would end up rescuing him right back. [Captain Swan Modern AU] https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11255395/1/Search-and-Rescue

World Unknown by colormyheartred - Emma signs up to be a test subject for a “guaranteed true love match”. The kicker is that she can’t see her match until their wedding day. The moment she sees him for the first time, she knows she’s doomed. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11824108/1/World-Unknown - Read the Sequels too! 

With This Ring by kissmelikeapirate - This was just about the dumbest idea she had ever heard. Marry a guy she barely knew? But sometimes desperate people do crazy things. And crazy things can sometimes be the best things you ever do…  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11286660/1/With-This-Ring

Headlights Fading by EvilIsntBorn337 - When Emma Swan’s car breaks down outside of a small town in Maine, she finds herself stuck at the local garage, but as the repairs take longer and longer to complete, she has to decide if, in the end, she wants to leave the town at all. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11251326/1/Headlights-Fading 

With Affection by PhiraLovesLoki - Emma Swan isn’t a middle schooler. So why is she receiving notes from a secret admirer? She’s also definitely not a romantic person. So why is she writing back? Modern!AU Captain Swan, with side orders of Snowing and Frankenwolf https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11045549/1/With-Affection

Music of The Heart by InMyEyes2014 - Granny Lucas loves to be both chef and matchmaker for the town of Storybrooke. When she sets her skills on Liam and Killian Jones, she is sure she has found the perfect matches with Elsa and Emma. While some participants are willing and others reluctant, Granny and her cohorts are determined to make each a match made in heaven or at least in lasagna. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6215764/chapters/14240920

Alternate Universe - With a Touch of Canon 

Remember When by Emilee Amethyst - "I will find you. I will always find you.“ Says the Charming Family motto. But does it still apply when two centuries separate you from the one you love? Captain Swan story slight universe alterations. Picks up at season 2’s "The Doctor” where Emma already knows Hook from their past, but he has “no bloody clue” whom she is.  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12079881/1/Remember-When

Across Time And Space by Annaelle - Seventeen year old Emma Swan unwittingly and accidentally falls through a mysterious portal that lands her in the middle of the ocean, only to be saved by a young, dashing lieutenant, and to be brought aboard the Jewel of The Realm. Will she be able to find her home? And if she does… Will she still want to go? Lieutenant Duckling/Captain Swan. AU. Canon elements. - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9864377/1/Across-Time-And-Space

Until The Fog Lifts by ArtjuiceRP - Cursed!Killian AU: Emma Swan has more than enough to deal with. For one, her son believes the entire town of Storybrooke is cursed. She definitely doesn’t have time for the mysterious pawnbroker, Killian Jones, even if Henry insists that he’s the prince she’s meant to be with.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/3448121/chapters/7561955

Canon Universe (At One Point or Another) 

Unbreakable by xHookedonKillianx - What if Hook was able to go with Emma and Henry when they left to escape Pan’s curse? With no memory of each other or Storybrooke, Emma and Killian meet in New York as complete strangers, both with broken pasts, and both with clean slates for their future. 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6818248/chapters/15563941

Smooth Sailing (With A Chance Of Definite Passion) by sandra70 - picks up right at the end of season 3… and tries to answer the question “Where is the relationship going?” (without obstacles like Elsa and Marian; but others might appear) The rating has officially changed to an “M” now… https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10640638/1/Smooth-Sailing-With-A-Chance-Of-Definite-Passion

Chinese Food and A Movie by Ltb16 - In an interview after S3, Adam said something about Hook and Emma getting Chinese and watching a movie and this was born.  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10347266/1/Chinese-Food-and-a-Movie 

Everyday I Write The Book by msgenevieve447 - "I’m in the book now.“ To say that a lot has happened tonight is something of an understatement, but Emma is determined to make it all fit together on the same page. (Post-322.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10385057/1/Every-Day-I-Write-The-Book 

Surprise @gingerchangeling​​, I’m your Secret Santa for @cssecretsanta2k19​​! 

You asked for an order of dark, pirate!Killian, so I did my best to make him dark, I just hope you like how it turned out. The title was inspired by a phrase from your story, Hallowed Be Thy Name, “She said that he was lost. But that he refused ta look up at the sky ta find his way by the stars.” It seemed like the perfect title for this story, for even though Killian is a pirate and knows how to navigate by the stars, he still loses his way.

It was so nice to get to know you more (though I was a little paranoid you’d find out it was me 😆). I hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Thank you @ilovemesomekillianjones​​ for beta reading and for all of your help, and @onceuponaprincessworld​​ for being my soundboard and letting me bounce ideas off of you :)

Summary: When the fearsome Captain Hook is hired by the Evil Queen to kill the princess of Misthaven, he is quick to accept. So why does he end up kidnapping her instead?

No curse, no magic.

*Trigger warnings* This story features Dark!Hook and dark themes, including attempted rape (not by Killian), depictions of violence, blood, murder and thoughts of murder. Though this is rated Explicit, there is NO smut, only implied smut and a bit of nudity.

Rated: Explicit

Word Count: 10,232

Also available on: AO3 FF.N

Summary: A soulmates au where you can have any number of things happen to reveal you have a soulmate. In this one, Emma suddenly hears the songs that her soulmate are either listening to or have stuck in their head. 

Rating: M for language just in case.

Word Count: Just under 8.5k

A/N: Just under the wire, here’s one of the fics that I mentioned in my retrospect, miraculously finished just in time. Please excuse any errors, as this is un-beta’d, and please excuse my bastardization of the movements of a symphony to break this down properly. One funny shout out, though: This fic was born and spiraled out of control after an exchange I had with @seastarved longer ago than I can actually remember, so I dedicate the concept to you, my friend. To all of you, Happy Whatever you celebrate, Merry Christmas, and I’ll be back soon with a January Joy and a CSLB to share. -xo

Prelude

Three times. Three times in the last week, she’s randomly gotten “The Song That Never Ends” stuck in her head. Out of nowhere. She doesn’t listen to that song. Who actually listens to that song? She’s not sure she’s ever liked that song, so why would it pop into her head just for fun and stick around for a few hours before escaping again?

The first time is at work, as she types up reports, and she doesn’t even realize she’s humming it until David, her friend and partner, clears his throat in that obnoxious way to let her know she’s doing something to annoy him, which in turn, annoys her. They stare at each other, with Emma glaring harder, until he clears his throat again in the way that says, ‘As you were,’ because he realizes he won’t win the fight.

The second time is at home while Emma is doing laundry. She’s halfway through draping her line-dry items on the rack when it suddenly starts playing, and she tries to change the song to something she actually likes for several minutes, before she decides instead to just imagine television static until the song goes away.

The third time, she doesn’t realize it has even reared its ugly head again until Mary Margaret, David’s lovely wife who is one of her best friends and her son’s elementary school teacher, asks if she is okay. Apparently, grunting out the tune is cause for alarm.

Mary Margaret hums in consideration after Emma explains what’s going on.

“What?”

“David and I didn’t realize we were soulmates until we were engaged, you know. We have these silly little birthmarks on the bottoms of our feet that match up if we press them together.”

“How did you not notice that? You dated for six years before he even proposed!”

“Emma, honey, when our feet were bare, we were hardly concerned with the bottom of our feet,” the sweet woman says with an obvious leer.

“I’m glad Henry isn’t around to hear this filth. From his teacher.” The other woman snickers, and Emma tries to hold back a smile. “You’re gross. I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Emma professes, making a face and moving to Mary Margaret’s side to pick at the food she’s preparing for lunch. “So, what, you think someone out there is listening to this song and that’s why it keeps getting stuck in my head? You think I have a soul mate?”

There’s a nod of agreement, even as Mary Margaret smacks her hand away from raw dough for her famous chocolate chunk cookies. “Could be worse, he or she could be listening to Henry the Eighth.”

“Speaking of, Henry is the only soul mate I need,” Emma finalizes, signaling the end of the discussion.

The aforementioned song gets stuck in her head, all her own doing, and she practically screams it in her mind in retaliation.

And thus, the war begins.

-x-

Emma’s going to kill Ruby.

She is.

That’ll have her end up in jail, and while that’s obviously not preferable as a long-term thing, Emma thinks those lovely orange (or gray or black or green or whatever color the jumpsuits are in Boston now) jumpsuits would be better than what she has on right now.

This is the absolute last time Emma agrees to do Ruby a favor of her choice to get out of having to chase down a perp that she absolutely does not want to deal with.

Michael Pearson and his tendency to get handsy before she cuffs him is seeming so much better right now.

A creep getting handsy and an orange (maybe) jumpsuit.

Merry Christmas.

(And Bah Humbug.)

Because Emma is walking through actual snow in nothing more than a flimsy trench coat, a pair of heels that are really not suited for this weather and the slickness of the sidewalks, and red underwear that’s trimmed with white fluff and hooked into a pair of black stockings. The actual tag on the lingerie was “Sexy Santa,” and Emma is in the camp that nothing about Santa should ever be sexy.

It’s just creepy.

HELLO ANON, THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY INBOX FOR WEEKS AND I AM SORRY FOR THAT. AS REPAYMENT, HERE ARE QUITE A NUMBER OF WORDS WHERE EMMA AND KILLIAN’S FRIENDS TOTALLY WANT EMMA AND KILLIAN TO DATE, BUT EMMA AND KILLIAN CAN’T BELIEVE THEIR FRIENDS HAVEN’T NOTICED THEY ALREADY ARE. JUST LIKE…WITH BOXING. 

Also on Ao3 because this also got pretty long. I don’t know, guys. 

The hospital lights are giving her a headache.

They’re bright and abrasive and everything smells like disinfectant, which, honestly Emma figures is probably a good sign regarding the cleanliness of this hospital, but she’s far too worried about everything else to be worried about that.

She’s not even sure if she’s supposed to be worried about that.

This was not part of the plan.

At all.

There was no plan.

At all.

“We should be back there,” David hisses, not for the first time and it’s an absolutely horrible attempt at keeping his voice down.

Emma licks her lips, ignoring Mary Margaret’s furtive glances. Mary Margaret keeps glancing at her. Emma’s tongue is going to dry out.

That’s the single worst thing she’s ever thought.

“We can’t get back there yet,” Ariel says reasonably, slumped in one of the waiting room chairs with her legs stretched out in front of her. She mutters a rather pointed curse under her breath when Will nearly trips over her feet. “Well, watch where you’re going then.”

“I didn’t actually say anything,” Will points out. “And the Detective is right. We should—“

“—We can’t. You know that. David knows that. They’re doing tests or making sure he’s not concussed or whatever.”

He met her when they were five years old, and the first thing he noticed about her is that she had bright yellow hair that was as long as his mother’s. He now knows that yellow is more aptly described as blonde – but often golden when it comes to Emma – and that her hair wasn’t quite as long as his mother’s. But he was young and decided that he loved her (and her hair) that first day.

So he asked her to be his girlfriend. She said no, citing that her dad told her she couldn’t date boys until she was at least eighty, and he decided then that he’d wait for her until he was eighty. It seems ridiculous, and maybe it was, but somehow he just knew that Emma Nolan was special.

He kissed her for the first time, or really she kissed him for the first time, when they were seven and in the second grade. It was behind the slides, and he’s honestly not sure if her lips even really touched his. But it was beautiful and amazing, and her pale cheeks blushed red. When he asked why she did it, she said that she wanted to and her mom said she didn’t have to wait until she was eighty to like a boy like her dad said.

When they were ten his mum moved his family back to England, and he cried for an entire day thinking about leaving Emma. He’d spent nearly every day by her side, even during the summer months, and suddenly he was being ripped away only to move back into a small home that was cold and smelled of fish. His mum said it was too expensive to call Emma, but he was allowed to write her.

So he did, but it was never quite the same.

He was fourteen when his mum died, the cancer taking her quickly and without a lot of pain, and it was Liam’s decision to move them away from England. When he asked Killian where he wanted to go, he knew his answer immediately.

Boston.

It was the week after his fifteenth birthday when he saw Emma Nolan again, and she ran into his embrace so quickly that he could do nothing but hold her. Tightly. She was so different than she was the last time he saw her, but then again, five years is a lot of time when you’re young. Her hair was as long and as blonde as usual, cascading down her back in soft waves that reminded him of the ocean. Her eyes were just the same as well, but they didn’t seem so bright. There was something more dull, muted, and he ached to know what could possibly dull the sunshine that is his Emma.

And he wanted to fix it. Or at least to have her allow him into her heart. She’s Emma. She didn’t need him to fix anything, but she allowed him to anyways.

He was seventeen when they finally kissed again, and this time he knew that her lips touched his, soft and warm against him in the back row of a darkened movie theater. He has no clue what was playing on the screen, and to this day, he still doesn’t care.

He was still seventeen when he told her he loved her for the first time on a broken breath and a fluttering heart. He remembers everything about the moment. He remembers the way it was three in the morning and the moonlight shone in her open window from where he’d come in just after midnight. He was a bloody fool sneaking into a detective’s home to fool around with his daughter, but he was in love and nothing else mattered. She said the words back, giggling under the covers before kissing him like her life depended on it. He’s sure that his did.

They were eighteen when they went to different schools four hours apart, the scholarships they received keeping them from attending the same universities. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t that far, but at the time there might as well have been another ocean between them. But there wasn’t. It was just a few turns and an interstate away, and he’d skip Friday afternoon psychology and Monday morning calculus just to be with her, even if she was the one traveling to see him that weekend.

He scraped by with a C in both of them, and it was worth it.

They were twenty when she broke up with him over the phone, the stress and distance too much, and he missed a project deadline to go see her and try to fight for them. He found her in her dorm room crying, and he cried with her, trying to comfort her even if he was the one who broke her. But they talked and yelled and broke down until it was better.

Missing the deadline was definitely worth it.

Missing Emma, well, he never wanted to do that again.

The two of them graduated when they were twenty-two, and the ceremonies were at the same time so they skyped with each other so they could watch the other walk across the stage. Afterward they met in the middle, along with her parents and Liam, and he knew that he never had to be separated from her again.

They moved into together two weeks later, and they spent more time on the mattress on the floor of their bedroom moving together than actually moving in.

Yeah, that was definitely worth it.

He bought a ring, a singular diamond with a gold band, when he was twenty five and more in love than he ever before. She said yes before he could even ask, apparently having found it in the sock drawer the week before, and that kiss is his favorite of all.

It took longer than he expected for them to actually get married, life and jobs and all of the changes getting in the way, but then the summer before his twenty-eighth birthday she walked down an aisle in a white dress and hair that flowed down her back, again in waves just like the ocean. She became his wife and he her husband, and during their first dance she joked that she’d been breaking her dad’s dating rule for two decades now.

He was thirty when they welcomed their first child, the most handsome young lad he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he felt flutters of happiness and joy in his chest no matter how tired and exhausted and bloody miserable he was when they hadn’t slept.

But then they did it again when they were thirty two, and that time they knew a little better at how to hold a baby and change clothes and sleep. But those same flutters of happiness and joy always stayed around.

He met the love of his life when he was five, and though things have been far from perfect, she’s perfect to him, even as her hair grays and wrinkles form over the smoothness of her skin. The same happens to him, and they grow with each other, sometimes growing apart but always growing back together.

Hey Anon, 

I am awful with fic recommendations at the moment, as I tend to spend far too long writing, and not enough time reading anything. But there are a few I can recommend. Firstly, anything written by @hollyethecurious, @winterbaby89, @searchingwardrobes and for the @cssns! (I’ve missed loads of people here too but my mind is frazzled). 

At the moment, I’m also reading Alone, Until I Get Home by @peglegsjones, The Daylight Seems So Far Away by @vickyvicarious, Whether We Wake or Sleep by @ripplestitchskein and Given The Choice by @winterbythesea. 

If you fancy something complete, then there’s The Path That Moonbeams Make by @madlymel, Second Star To The Right by only_halfway_there and Roses in December by @justanotherwannabeclassic. 

I’m sure others will be able to flood this post with recommendations for you too.