I have always known that finding a friend is complicated and even more so if we are looking for a best friend, I do not consider myself good at making friends, but only twice in my life have I found a person that I have been able to call "best friend".
The first person, I met him in my childhood and because of things in life, I distanced myself and I never started a conversation with that person again, although some say: "they were able to talk through social networks", in fact when we grew up our tastes and ways of being, they became totally different, and yes, I tried to talk to him but our ways of being made us not be friends again.
The second person, I consider him the best friend I had, I met him during high school, we were both very introverted and we ended up getting to know each other and becoming friends, his way of being was very strong and from time to time I ended up falling for his jokes or way to be, but because he was my best friend, I still really liked him. Over time he got to know more people and his way of being changed (he went from being someone very calm to becoming someone very rude in his way of being, excusing himself by saying "the only one who can judge me is God". So, little by little he distanced himself, he became friends with people I also knew (since he introduced them to me) but little by little I saw that behind my back, they gossiped about me or made fun of my way of being. Over time I saw that his way of being became too horrible towards me and my partner. He excused himself that it was not him and that his friends were the ones who said that. But he, being my friend, did not defend me or tell me anything about what was happening .
I tried to understand him and give him another chance, but I feel like he didn't care about what I thought and he continued to do so.
Do I miss him sometimes? Yeah! but time taught me the lesson that sometimes I have to get away from some people, even if they are the most important people in my life.
These experiences and others have made me think, is it really possible to find a person who appreciates you as much as you appreciate them? (speaking of friendship), is there really a person who would put their hands on fire for you?…
These last times that I have been living, I have been looking for new friends and I have found myself with the usual problem, finding a true friend.
Sometimes I think, lying in my bed, if I can find a friend who really feels that he appreciates me as I appreciate my friends. Someone to count on for anything, someone who defends you and wants to be in your best and worst moments.
Someone you can talk to at 3 am about how you feel, because it's okay to have a partner and talk to them about everything. But sometimes I feel the need to have someone else, a friend who listens to me and gives me advice, supports me, defends me, understands me…
Hopefully one day that person can arrive, because I'm already tired…
