Do you ever wake up in the morning and get sad that no one has read your works while you slept? Do you ever feel bad that no one really gives you kudos or comments? Do you wonder if people really like your work? Do you wonder if you're wasting your time?
honestly? no. but listen, that doesn't mean you can't or mustn't feel this way. you ask for my personally feelings, so I give you my own personally feelings (which is that it doesn't matter if people read my works or not, because while hits, kudos and comments are deeply appreciated, I write for me and for the join of writing, so that alone is enough. plus, before I write for my current fandom, Squid Game, some of the previous fandoms/characters I wrote about in the past were way less popular, literally most of the fics for one of the fandoms I used to write about were from me, so I'm way more than used to writing and posting with barely any audiences, let alone kudos or comments — I didn't stop writing about those fandoms because of lack of engagement, I only stopped writing about those fandoms and moved to Squid Game because my brain decided to shift my hyperfixation to Squid Game). but my own personally feelings apply to me alone. so it doesn't mean it's wrong if you were to feel the way that you said.
if lack of engagement discourages you, I'm afraid I can't tell you to "just stop caring" because while I personally don't care that much for hits/kudos or comments (again, I appreciate every hit, kudos and comments I receive, but they are not the reason why I enjoy writing in the first place), I know it's not that easy for other people.
so to be honest, I'm not sure if I can give you any advice on how to deal with this, if you were looking for an advice or if what I'm saying helps. but maybe, you could try writing for yourself — and by writing for yourself, I mean just write what you want to read without posting it. so no one can read it. I know it may contradict the point of your ask about wanting audiences and engagement (which is very valid). but what I'm trying to say is that if you can write it without posting it, if you can write it literally just for you, and if you find yourself enjoying the joy of writing, then maybe you can trick your mind into focusing less on whether or not strangers read your works, and more on "the joy of writing for yourself first and foremost".
because, and I am only speaking for myself, the act of writing alone is fun. writing alone is enough to make me happy. so I know I am never wasting my time, because I don't find joy in whether or not strangers read my works. I don't write for strangers. I write for me, for the love and passion I have for my comfort characters. I find joy in getting to write and create a world for these characters where I am in charge and I have all the control/freedom.
my time writing is never wasted, because it's what makes me happy.
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