7 years

Friendship has to be the most beautiful form of love. My best friend loves cats while I love dogs Everyday when I wake up I see him spamming me with reels of dogs knowing that I love them. And I would later spam him with reels of cats. There's love you see in knowing what the other loves and giving it to them. There's love in seeing something and thinking of someone. . There's love everywhere I see; even though I believe I must not be worthy of it.

I do not know how to show affection even though I am trying hard. I will hug and cherish you but there are days where I will straight up push you as far as possible. I show affection in material ways. I will buy you things so you see pieces of me everywhere. I will buy you roses so that when you see flowers you think of me. I will buy you chocolate on the days you feel bad so that you think of me whenever you have bad days.

"I was thinking about you" has to be the sweetest thing one can ever say. The fact that even though my presence wasn't there still you had me in your mind.

I do not have friends from high school, by that I mean I do have some people from high school I talk with occasionally. But I'll never have someone to hang out and have the "remember when..." conversations from high school. All I have is memories of people who I lost over time because of how I didn't know how to keep up the friendship. I may not talk to you guys but my heart weeps over what we had earlier. This pain isn't something I think I'll ever forget but maybe one day I would learn to live with it. Without feeling suffocated in my own skin