party chapter thirteen - shalaska - pureCAMP
A/N - i know itâs been so long. in fact, itâs been about eight months. it became difficult for me to continue this fic after it coming under fire so much. i was told it was cheap and stupid and as a fairly young writer, it got to me. i lost all motivation.
but we were so close to the end. we were moments away.
itâs short. but this is how i envisioned it. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much to anyone who read this. it means a lot <3
Their cab ride back home had been spent in a relatively awkward silence. For one, it seemed as though Sharon was slightly more rattled from running into her ex than she wanted to let on. Her knee was bouncing, the bones prominent through the thin fabric of her jeans. Alaska just needed a moment to mull over what had just happened, from the encounter right up to the impromptu confession sheâd made.
It wasnât a big deal, right? That was what the whole debacle spanning several months had been about. Alaska loved Sharon. Sharon loved Alaska. It had, essentially, ruined a tour, Sharonâs health, and the peace of mind of nearly all of their friends. So it wasnât a big deal, that much was clear now. They were in love.
And yet it still felt like one. Markâs words rang in her ears incessantly.
Youâre good at brainwashing people, Aaron.
Sharon wasnât a bad person. A four year relationship and a friendship afterwards had cemented that fact in Alaskaâs mind. But that didnât change that Sharon had an ugly side, a darker side, beyond the one that was revealed under the influence of illicit substances. There was the side of her that was nihilistic, offensive, the side that didnât give a shit because she didnât have a reason to. That side of her was rare, but it still existed.
Surely Sharon wasnât lying, though. Theyâd been through so much together. No matter how cheap and stupid it may have seemed, the hard times had brought them together. It had been a wake-up call in many circumstances, from relationships to just plain health. It wasnât something Sharon could lie about.
As they walked towards the front door â Sharon having paid for the ride and taken hold of Alaskaâs hand as soon as they stepped out â Alaska started to relax again. She was just getting stressed; it was natural after such a weird turn of events. To walk hand in hand in the streets of Pittsburgh, a city now infamous thanks to the pair of them, that in itself was enough to skew her mind a little bit. Mark and his stupid little mind games were just the cherry on top of the stress cake.
Sharon flung herself down onto her couch as soon as she got inside, too tired to even properly take her shoes off. Instead, she opted to kick and shake them off as best as she could as she sank into the cushions, pulling Alaska down with her.
âSo, you just said you loved me.â
âYes you did.â Sharon persisted. âI heard it. I heard it come right out of your little mouth.â
Alaska chuckled at the childish game. âYou must have me confused with someone else.â
âLike who?â Sharon laughed. âWho could I possibly have you confused with?â
She pretended to think. âHmm. A boa constrictor?â
âI prefer feather boas.â Sharon muttered decisively. âTheyâre prettier. I know I heard you, Lasky. I even said it back. Donât deny it.â
âWell then,â Alaska replied smugly. âIf you know you heard it, why do you need to mention it again?â
Sharon puckered her lips for a kiss. Alaska gladly obliged.
âTo make extra sure.â She said. âYou donât think I spent so many months worrying about this not to double check it, did you?â
Alaska softened. âThe worrying can stop, Noodles. No amount of ugly exes, past relationships or overdoses are gonna stop me from loving you. Iâm not encouraging any of those things, but⊠they wonât stop me loving you the way I do. Things turned out okay in the end, didnât they?â
Alaska knew the saying was âabsence makes the heart grow fonderâ, but she wanted to change it. Stronger was perhaps a better word. Theyâd broken each other down and built one another back up again over years and years, and if anything, their hearts were stronger than theyâd been before. More in tune than theyâd ever been before. It seemed a break was all they needed, and that was all it had been; a break, not a break up.
The pair were comfortably silent for a while. There was no need to dive on top of one another, ravaging each other with kisses and sex and hickeys and everything that the love novels suggested. Rekindling a fire never encompassed dumping a bottle of gasoline and a box of matches onto the wood. Like a fire, it needed to be dealt with slowly, carefully, bit by bit until they got it right.
They had all the time in the world.
Willam: Goddammit you fucking snake why are you never awake when important news is breaking
Willam: good luck when you wake up bitch
Courtney: bill! This is serious!
Michelle: Not sure if youâve seen Instagram and Twitter, but Iâd hurry there if I were you. Iâm guessing youâre not awake, butâŠ
- Michelle Visage has sent a link â
It had been so comfortable, sat next to Sharon on the couch in silence, that Alaska wasnât even aware the pair of them had drifted off until she suddenly awoke. Sharonâs hand was resting on her thigh, her head on her neck, and in Alaskaâs right hand her phone flashed continuously. Stirring herself cautiously, so as not to wake up Sharon, she unlocked it and groggily read her messages.
Oh for fuckâs sake, she thought to herself. Not again. Why is it that the moment Iâm happy, the moment anything good happens, something appears online?
A feeble part of her brain tried to convince herself otherwise. Maybe it wasnât what she thought? Maybe it was just some snotty club cancelling one of her gigs, another article proclaiming Sharon to be a drug-obsessed Nazi â something standard and easy to brush off. There was a good chance it was another fan taking a stab at finding proof of âshalaskaâ, which again was fairly easy to ignore, if slightly amusing. Some of their theories were wild and some of them were, well, hilariously accurate.
Feeling a little blasĂ© about the whole thing, Alaska opened her twitter. Nothing unusual. Mrs Kasha Davis spreading her positivity. A naked black guy with a gigantic cock, with a small âliked by Coco Montreseâ at the top of the photo. Katya spouting strangely ominous nonsense. Phi Phi interacting with fans. Ultimately, nothing seemed out of place.
She clicked trending. Various idiotic topics greeted her as usual. A sporting event, the resignation of a famous player who played⊠something, a funny hashtag about describing your boss with a movie title, and â
That was what they meant.
Despite the words seeming frivolous, Alaskaâs heart rate sped up upon reading them. #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty was one of the few trending topics, with a couple of hundred tweets about it.
Heart suddenly filled with dread, Alaska clicked. The first tweet, the most liked and retweeted one of all, was from an oddly familiar source.
Mark - @thatmarkman â Feb 1st
Imagine your already-shitty boyfriend leaving you to go date/fuck the ex that he abused #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty @SHARON_NEEDLES
Enlarging the image, Alaska saw it was of herself â blurry, and from the back, but most definitely her. Her hand was entwined with the hand of somebody who hadnât quite made it into the picture, but she knew was Sharon.
She swiped. This time the two of them were in it, still holding hands, at a side angle that would easily clear any doubts over the first image. Sharonâs side profile was abundantly clear, Alaskaâs face almost fully visible. It was incriminating evidence.
angie<3 - @katyasbabyslut2004 â Feb 1st
WHY IS @SHARON_NEEDLES TRYING TO RUIN ALASKAâS CAREER JUST LIKE HERS >:( #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty
Ben||3 days - @delanoactzamomattel â Feb 1st
Wow i sure do love unstanning racist nazi cheaters! #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty
Victoria Ulgard - @trixyalaska49 â Feb 1st
Sum1 tell me this is photoshopped #sharonneedlesisoverparty
56 days - @adoorcilantrosplaid â Feb 1st
Feel like ive waited years for this damn hashtag to be a thing #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty #FINALLY
AB - @kimorasblackk â Feb 1st
Ew shalaska really? #gross #sharonneedlesisOVERparty
Leon :D - @leoshakesqueere1 â Feb 1st
Can someone explain whats going on omg i thought they broke up bc it was abusive?? #shalaska?? #sharonneedlesisoverparty
They went on and on, each one slamming Sharon, or Alaska, or both of them. A few were kind, clogging up the negative tag with positivity, but it did little to fix the issue.
Everything was now out in the open.
This was the last thing Sharon needed, and Alaska knew it. The recovery would be, and already had been, rough. It wasnât going to get any easier anytime soon, and she didnât need the added stress of seeing people going bananas over something that didnât involve them. Sharon was more private than she liked to let on â this would only stress her out.
Alaska had been so caught up in scrolling through the madness that she didnât notice Sharon stirring on her shoulder until the older queen spoke. She was squinting, her glasses having fallen off into her lap, and her brow was furrowed down at her own mobile.
âWhy is Michelle texting me?â
A heavy sigh escaped from Alaskaâs lips. She couldnât lie about it. It was inevitable that Sharon would find out; she might as well deliver the news as gently as she could.
ââŠYour asshole of an ex told the world about us.â
She waited for the reaction.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Sharon nestled down into Alaskaâs shoulder again, her eyelids still heavy from sleep.
She yawned. âIs that it?â
Alaska shifted her arm to pull Sharon closer to her, appreciating the calming warmth of having another body by her side. Sharon dropped her phone into her lap, not caring about it, and opened her eyes momentarily to gaze into Alaskaâs.
âThe thing isâŠâ She began sluggishly, clearly still half-asleep. âIt doesnât fucking matter⊠âcause, I love you baby. âN you love me too. The whole world donât have to love us.â
Within seconds of soliloquising, her eyes were closed again, her body growing heavier against Alaskaâs. She sounded so sure, so certain, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It didnât matter, she was positive. All that mattered was their love shared, right?
Alaska wasnât as convinced as she wanted to be. âI donât know, Sharon⊠this could have repercussions. Itâs so soonâŠâ
âTrust me, pumpkin⊠you lose a gig, I lose a gig⊠doesnât matter. Weâre famous ân involved in a scandal. Weâre hot shit.â
The words were so painfully Sharon that Alaska couldnât help but laugh. Maybe she was right after all. Logically, she knew it wasnât going to get any worse than this. Mean tweets, or perhaps a rude comment, or something snotty on Reddit â that would be the beginning and end of their troubles. Of course Sharonâs overdose would remain a problem, but at the same time, the news was dying down. It seemed as though, when it came to Ru Girls, everything flared up for days and then dissipated again.
It was clichĂ©. Beyond clichĂ©. But that didnât matter. Alaska switched off her phone, putting it face down on the coffee table and gently stroking Sharonâs hair.
Gigs didnât matter. Mean comments didnât matter. Unkind tweet and speculations didnât matter.
What mattered was happiness, love and health.
Happiness. Only months ago, Alaska had expected she wouldnât find proper happiness again. Confusion shrouded her mind from the obvious, pulling her away from her instinctive thoughts. She stopped following her gut and started following her head, knowing in the back of her mind that this was the same head that caused her self-depreciating thoughts. The head that caused the meltdowns, the tantrums, the angry fits that made her appear overly-competitive and petty. In hindsight, she neednât have listened to her head. Her heart knew what it wanted. Her heart knew what it needed.
Love. That had been the difficult one. She hadnât even wanted to recognise the way she was feeling, and had just silenced herself in order to keep up the illusion. In a hotel years ago, sheâd decided to listen to her heart and break away â and in another hotel later on, sheâd decided not to. For so long she denied herself the very idea; love doesnât die when a relationship does. It had taken a while. And maybe, just maybe, it didnât feel as explosive and all-consuming and fiery as it had when they were young, dumb and broke. Maybe, just maybe, the gentle warmth and softness between them, the delicacy of Sharonâs sleeping face and the weight of her body next to her, was enough. Maybe, just maybe, that was love too.
Health. Admittedly, they werenât doing too well at this one. But it was a start. Sharon was starting to get better. The problem was acknowledged, and being tackled. After one of her many mood swings from angry to guilty, sheâd told Alaska she was going to limit her cigarette intake. Originally, sheâd decided to quit completely â a resolution that lasted all of five minutes before a craving struck her. Still, it was something. Drugs were out of the window and cigarettes were slowly disappearing. It was something. Progression.
It wasnât perfect. They would never be perfect. Alaska would always be sensitive, a perfectionist, and prone to reacting negatively when things didnât always go her way. Sharon would always want to find solace in a bar, to block out the bad feelings with a substance or two, and revert back to her old ways. They would never be perfect. And love certainly wasnât going to fix that.
But there was nothing they could do to change the imperfections.
So, with as much blasé as she could muster, a brief imitation of her old old friend, Alaska smiled to herself.
