PANSY

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

As they giggle over dinner, a bouquet will be brought to them as a gentle favor, or pictures taken with their romance in mind.

A lovely congrats, maybe a paid favor, and a plentiful of compliments to the couples completeness.

Though only a distance away, there sits two women, to which the world will refuse to recognize the two are madly in love. A man may walk up to them and call them both cute in an effort to get someone’s insta like a trophy. A family may stare at them with a knowing glance, determining if their very existence is too taboo to witness. No small talk of a date with the waiter, and worst of all, no dessert on the house.

Though I knew this was what I would be up against knowingly upon being open with my girlfriend, I sometimes wish we were granted the small joys of the average couple. But I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes the silence is comforting.

I will never forget the first time my girlfriend and I were complimented as a couple. And for once, not by a young, patronizing girl who leans back with a wide, parading smile and a beaming “OKAAAAAY YAAAAAY cuuuuuute!!!” feeling as though she had met her quota of wokeness for the day and had made the world better because of it. I mean completely unwarranted, completely of the moment, with no other intention, just pure kindness.

We were sitting at a restaurant after a trip to the mall. I had been starving, so my girlfriend pulled over to a quick chain restaurant for me to grab one of my favorite bites to snack on. As we waited for my dish to be served, the two of us sat there with locked eyes. I smiled back with a cheeky grin, to which always makes her giggle. I love to make her laugh.

We had rambled on about other possible places to visit: stores from Instagram reels we’ve seen, proper places for dinner, traffic times, all the boring things that come with the karma of making plans on the way. The two of us had been so drowned in our planning that we had not taken the time to notice the woman that sat beside us eyeing our direction.

She had white curly hair and soft brown eyes that hid themselves along the careful creases of her aged face. She had been sat there for a while, seemingly waiting patiently for a large to-go order, sat directly facing towards us. Though my girlfriend and I had been lost in conversation, there was one thing about this woman that glared at me from our nestled booth: her bright red lips. The kind of red lips only made by that of an oily, satin red lipstick; the kind with the waxy smell that can only bring you back to an old JC Penney.

I watched as they made the twisted effort to part, a small noise finding its way to hit our booth. I turned my head, slightly cautioned by what the woman was about to say. Unfortunately, I had every right to be afraid in a world like this. But as I met her gaze with a swift head turn and a shift in my chair, a smile grazed her lips softly as she spoke:

“You two are so cute together.”

My face grew a rosy pink and I fluttered grateful chuckles from my chest, thanking her for the lovely compliment. She rose her manicured hand and proceeded with saying that she had been watching us the whole time and thought we were just adorable. We both wished her off as she grabbed her bag from the waitress and exited the restaurant. The moment we got back into our car, I burst into tears.

I couldn’t stop repeating it back to my girlfriend: “she thought we were cute. WE were cute. She said together.” I echoed off repeatedly, taking apart that simple sentence and gracing its every word. It was a gesture so small and yet it was so real. So profound to me. It was like a seal of approval almost, it felt. That we could indeed be a couple in the eyes of the world.