𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 ;

“ they don’t bother me. ” she blurts again, unable to somehow keep her words to herself, despite the fact that he can FEEL her through the bond. she’s an open book, emotions left out in the open to be read. “ but -- i. i’m SORRY. ” here she is, apologizing for what he’s been through, for what plagues him when he’s asleep. she opens her mouth, maybe about to say something else, but she stills once she hears cassian’s BOOMING laugh from the hall, accompanied by Mor’s light, breezy voice. “ close it. ” she doesn’t want this time with him taken from her, not yet. “ i won’t make it in time to the door,” she’s practically begging him now, wanting him to stay, wanting to feel that presence with her. 

tag dump !! part one.

don’t tell me that lucien couldn’t BREATHE when he saw how devastated his mate was, when he remembered that in a period of his life, he too had seen everything from such a detached perspective. i’m not saying lucien is entitled to elain who is her own separate character here, but i’m saying he’s entitled to HAPPINESS, something sarah j maas clearly doesn’t seem to be giving him because ALL HE’S DOING IS SUFFERING and i have so many feelings about my smol son lucien vanserra, and i really hope that if elucien doesn’t happen, he still has his own happiness. and give him his damn crown too and write a scene where we see beron when he hears the news. add in eris for twenty dollars.

it’s time to finally get my life together which means that elain is finally getting all her tabs done today, along with an open starter i’ll drop and a promo !! along with tags ofc.

she flinches at the very mention of the spring court, at the memories that flood back that one HORRIFIC night. her eyes follow his every movement when he crosses the room, and for once she’s conscious of how very empty it is. it hasn’t been LIVED in, has no substance. it’s merely where she wakes at the beginning of the day and sleeps at the end, and to her, that’s all. “ nesta won’t kill you. ” she says, turning to look over her shoulder. as if she’d find her steely willed sister behind her, ready to throttle the emissary. “ is the bond why i can feel emotions that aren’t mine, sometimes ? ” that’s blurted out almost carelessly, as if she’s desperate for information. “ why i can see nightmares that aren’t mine ? ”

toni mahfud AS tarquin, lord of summer.

this isn’t to say that sjm miswrote elain - there’s no way an author can do that with her character. i’m simply choosing to write elain my own way.

she flinches when he speaks, and slim fingers grab at the thin fabric of her dress, the fine material being wrinkled underneath a grasp that’s far too tight. “ you shouldn’t be here. ” she repeats, although every bit of her screams otherwise. she wants him next to her, NEEDS him there, at her side. the bond that she’d thought was too much before is more than overwhelming now. “ your name’s lucien. ” she says, more of an observation than anything else. “ you used to be in spring. with him. ” she turns fully then, her gaze set solely on the fire haired emissary. “ you can come in. ” 

she can feel him before the scent of him registers ( it’s a pull, this bond; it’s almost as if she’s powerless with it ) and she finds herself finally turning, the movement leaving the chair she’s on creaking rather loudly. “ lucien. ” she says his name before he steps into her doorframe. here he is. here’s the man she’s seen in dreams, the man she’s never spoken to but somehow known more about than any other person. “ i thought you weren’t supposed to be here. ” her words are meek, her expression revealing absolutely nothing. 

now that i’ve got a theme ( created by the talented @unseenmockingjay ) i’ll try to be around a tad bit more often !! i’m just at work practically everyday and also trying to be on @artiis. anyways, this theme will be under construction until tomorrow night !! and if you want to plot or write just let me know.

him being close simply isn’t enough for her anymore; slender arms are thrown around him carelessly, and she presses herself against his side, craving that warmth, craving HIM. it’s his very presence that she finds herself focusing on because anything else is simply IMPOSSIBLE. “ don’t you ever leave for too long again. ” she mumbles, tilting her head back ever so slightly, desperate to catch a better glimpse of the red haired male. of her MATE. “ i thought i was going insane. ”

“ of course i don’t. ” but she’s breathless when she replies, heady with his confirmation. it’s almost like she’s intoxicated, and it’s that same rush of feelings from the bond that they share that almost has her GASPING. “ do you doubt MINE ? ” she’s never voiced her feelings towards him directly; never addressed that near dizzy feeling she gets when she’s close enough to smell that near cinammony scent of his, never voiced how she feels like she might FAINT when she feels his arms wrapped around her. 

you’re welcome 

“ are you out of your MIND ?? ” nesta’s hiss has elain looking up from the far too heavy sword that she’s struggling with, and she tears her gaze away from the high lord that she’d been sparring with, her eyes wide. “ i -- please don’t get angry with her. that’s just the way she is. ” the words are out of her mouth before she knows it, and she finds herself flinching at the look the winged illyrian ( his name is CASSIAN, but she hasn’t spoken to him, and she knows better than to say his name ) throws her sister.

so, while i get this blog under control ( i’m waiting on a commissioned theme that’ll be GORG ) i thought i should spill my wishlist !! god, i have SO many things i want, but here are my top faves. give me elucien or give me DEATH. actual faves. give me anything elucien. give me elriel too ??? platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter at all. give me elain plus the NIGHT COURT, god, can we imagine that ?? elain adjusting to her ( SPOILERS ) powers as a seer ( SPOILER OVER ) or to any changes that come from being faemade. give me elain as a human, give me absolutely anything development wise !!

“ is it always like this ? ” her steps are still slightly off ( a result of her recently being faemade ) but she still manages to find her way to the seashell studded balcony. it’s the view that leaves her breathless; a sunset that offers a multitude of colors, leaving the calm bay below vibrant with hues of pink, orange, and the darkest blue. “ i wouldn’t ever want to leave if i were here. ”