Aro Positivity

Your aromanticism is still real If you’re aromantic because of childhood/past trauma.

Your aromanticism is still real if you used to identify as a something else.

Your aromanticism is still real if it’s intertwined with your mental illnesses.

Your aromanticism is still real even if you aren’t 100% sure you’re aro, but like the way the label feels.

I know that asexuality is usually represented more in the ace/aro community. I know that it can be frustrating seeing ace posts in the aro tags. I know that while our communities are aligned, we face some different issues. I want you to know that your identity is still very real and your feelings are important. You are amazing, not despite being aro, but because of it.

maybe aro people are like the old humans, then, not halves of a whole.

I feel like it is important to recognize that even though we are a community with a lot of shared experiences, we must remember that there’s not just one “Aro Experience”; there are numerous aro experiences corresponding to numerous individuals with multi-faceted identities.  While we are unified by what makes us similar, we should also acknowledge what makes us different and include the variety of our experiences in community discussions.

There are asexual aromantics, and while aroaces are a large part of our community their experiences are not universal

There are allosexual aromantics, and being allosexual does NOT make them any less aro

There are amorous aros, who very much want to have a QPR

There are nonamorous aros, who don’t want a QPR at all

There are aros who experience strong platonic attraction in the form of squishes

There are aros who are aplatonic and have never had a squish

There are aros who’ve never dated anyone

There are aros who HAVE been in romantic relationships

There are aros who are 100% confident in their identity

There are aros who are still figuring stuff out

There are aros who are super romance repulsed

There are aros who enjoy a lot of “romantic” things

There are aros who are arospec and they ARE part of our community

There are aros who weren’t always aro because sometimes people change and that is perfectly okay

There are aros who love being aro and are relieved by it

There are aros who hate being aro and kinda wish they weren’t

And there are so many other aspects to aro identities, including gender, age, race, disability, mental illness, and so many other factors.  

Most importantly, ALL of these experiences are valid and important and 100% a part of our community! 

The ones who were told growing up that they’d meet someone someday

The ones who always hoped it would never happen and the ones who sometimes still hope that someday it might

The ones who love romance in theory, but not in practice and the ones who hate it.

Most of the attempts at validating content I’ve seen seems to be posts like “Aros are super valid and wonderful people” and these are great for a lot of things. Please don’t stop.

But as someone who has identified as aro myself for a few years now they also ring a little hollow. if you really want to make an aro feel super awesome here’s how.

1. Befriend your local friendly aro. 2. Listen to their experiences. 3. Accept their experiences and integrate it into how you interact with and react to them.

My favourite person right now is an alloromantic who I came out to and confessed I loved them platonically and explained to them what that meant to me. She was super accepting and that felt good. But I was still anxious about saying “I love you” around her. But every time I did she replied in kind without missing a beat. This has made my entire week and I have no idea how to respond to this kindness.