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@aro-confessional
Hello, we are aro confessional. This is our intro post.
We made this blog because we noticed the criminal lack of aro centric spaces/blogs to just talk about being aro without the feeling to also be ace at the same time. So here is the space to do so. All aromantic's are allowed to talk here and vent about their aro struggles with navigating a world that's so romance heavy.
Boundaries and mod info below the cut.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I think my new friend has a crush on me. I don’t want to seem egotistical but like. they keep calling me cute and really trying to talk to me and my god. I’ve got no clue what to do cause I don’t want to assume and be wrong but EVERY TIME they say something like that I want to disappear
The first thing you should do anon is tell them you dont like being called "cute". it doesnt matter if they do have a crush on you or not, its making you uncomfortable and thats a boundary that sounds like it needs to be set. You shouldnt be forced to feel uncomfortable because of your friend.
That being said its hard to tell when someone has a crush on you (in my experience (but we are also very aro and autistic so we might skew the results a bit)) It might be best to assume that isnt the case until they tell you, or tell them you are not interested in romance at all. This unfortunately isnt something i can give advice on because of the lack of information and not knowing the persons behaviours. The best thing you can do is set boundaries with them.
unless it’s somebody i know i can trust, i tend to lie about being aroallo. i tell people i’m also ace because i don’t want them treating me like i’m a horrible person or gross. i feel bad about lying about being something im not but it makes me feel safer in some way
anon I hope one day you don't have to ever lie to people about being aroallo. You aren't a horrible person for not wanting to be harassed for your identity.
I've been wondering recently if I could be aromantic for a while now but it isn't really easy to tell when what I'm feeling is romantic (i do know that there is already a label for that and I'd say it does fit nicely)
I guess it never occurred to me that I could be because I've never been repulsed at the thought of romance. I enjoy content containing it and may consider trying it out in the future myself. But now that I think about it, I don't care much for it in regards to myself. It doesn't appeal to me outside of the interest in knowing what it must be like or whether it really is like how people describe it. (Thought I was bi or pan because I didn't care much for gender either uhh)
On top of that the feeling I used to think could be romantic attraction is kinda what I feel for most of my close friends. I do feel a bit doubtful about using the label though. Since I am just never able to tell exactly what I'm feeling, I feel like I can never be sure, no matter how much it fits my experience.
But anyways besides that, it also annoys me how romance centric people usually are. I can't be seen with a friend of the opposite gender without being asked if we're dating, and some of my friends who already know the nature of our relationship act like romance is the obvious end goal. "Yeah, you two are not together... yet"
I don't mind much since it's bound to happen but they are so persistent with it. I don't want that to somehow come between our friendship. Hope it isn't wrong to be affectionate with any of my friends platonically geez man...
All in all (what is this? an essay?), I've had my fun with self discovery ngl. Still very confusing I have to admit but we'll see.
god same anon, when we were younger we would read a lot of self insert fanfiction and were fine with that being romantic (we know now that it was fine because of the degree of separation with ourselves and fiction) but I can't imagine how annoying it would be to deal with "you aren't together yet", why people can't listen to "hey, this isn't the type of relationship this is and it will never be that."
I'm not broken in the sense of, a mistake happened and I was dropped or let go and the impact of my fall made me like this. More like
When they made me
They forgot to give me a little screw, and
My machine insides have been
Falling out of function
For years, eventually spinning out
Over themselves and tangling
Metal with metal and
Soldering to each other with heat and
Becoming one with one another,
Leaving me
Unusable.
you weren't made wrong, you were made perfect but left in a world that wasn't willing to adapt to a change from the status quo
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Me and my best friend had a falling out and i realised she wasn't treating me right (mostly ableism, I'm autistic)
I got close with a different friend, and i have the biggest biggest friend crush on her. I'm terribly jealous of all of her friends and I badly wish i could he her best friend, but in that sense my love is unrequited.
I realised today that on top of that, I also have a romantic crush on her. I feel so sad because it's really rare for me to actually have crushes (they normally fade after being reciprocated as well), and now it's on her. She's so cool and i love her. I love her. I already know i like her more than she likes me and having a crush on her is humiliating.
It wouldn't work out because i know we're not compatible, it just feels unfair that when I finally do like someone, it's always with someone it won't work out with. And also I'm a pre t trans person (she knows), i say person because my identity is fluid but i do want to transition, and she is bisexual with a preference for men. I'm not her type as a girl either. It's just all so... aaaagch.... romantic feelings come with a lot of angst in my case.
friendship crushes are the wooorst we would mistake them for crush crushes all the time.
Honestly,here's not much i can suggest for advice other than communicating with her. i get this, the one time we thought we had a crush crush (it wasnt) it was gut wrenching because we werent romantically compatible with them.
I do hope everything works out for you anon, you deserve to be happy too.
Hey hmm been doing researches cuz I *think* im aro (ive been considering preferring a QPR relationship instead of a romantic one) and I found that the definition of quoiromantic *could* fit me but hmmm I'm not 100% sure either???
From my understanding, I personally understand that people feel romantic, I enjoy shipping n stuff, but I personally feel completly disconnected from the concept of having romantic feelings myself, I feel like I'm not emotionally able to fall in love (romantically) so hmmm do you think quoiromantic could be an appropriate label ? I've been simply using arospec + qpr which are accurate but I would appreciate having a more specific label as well...
Sorry if this isnt the kind of ask you usually answer ajsjjdks im having another identity crisis which hasn't happened in a LONG time lol
This blog is for any aro related confession about anything to do with being aromantic, this ask belongs on this blog dont worry.
i can't exactly tell you that "yes this is 100 present your identity" because im not in your head and as far as im aware, most aro people experience life differently. From your ask i think i would be fine to call yourself quoiromantic but also you don't need to use a spasific label if you dont know if it resonates with you.
we are always going thought bouts of identity issues due to being cupioromantic, and it will always be hard to tell an identity thats based on the lack of something, but if you think quoiromantic is an alright label for how you experience life, then use it. you are allowed to be wrong about who you think you are as time goes on, you aren't locking yourself into one box because you choose a label, if you decide later on it doesn't fit then that's ok. Hell you can even flip between just arospec and quoiromantic depending on the day or how you feel and that will be ok. if anyone tries to tell you you can only pick one identity they are wrong.
I'm thinking a lot about my romantic orientation and I'm worried.
A bit of context, I currently identify as lesbian/homoromantic, and am in a relationship with a woman who happens to be trans. This is important because id gotten with her before she came out as a woman, being at a time I didn't realize I was lesbian (at least so I think).
But idk if I was really attracted to her in an allorose way at all before she came out and now I'm questioning my attraction to her now. I don't think I've ever had non aesthetic or platonic attraction to any guy or anyone formerly perceived as a guy, including her, so now I'm thinking maybe I just had unique platonic feelings for her and found her aesthetically pleasing since I know girl crushes id had in the past felt different than what I felt for her.
But even now that she's come out, while I do have some sexual attraction to her (I consider myself demisexual and aceflux for a few reasons), idk if I know well enough what romantic attraction feels like and I'm not even sure if I have any romantic attraction since she kinda just feels like a super bestie if anything, and I wanna treat her well like id wanna treat any friend, shes just my top priority.
Idk what Im feeling but the more i think about it I may be arospec and I don't want this to come off poorly to her because I don't want her to think I don't love her at all, because I absolutely do, it just may not be in a "typical" way that most would expect
Sorry this took so long; I thought I responded to this but didn't.
Communication is key; tell her about your feelings. It's something hard to talk about with people who aren't aromantic; our last girlfriend broke up with us in hindsight because she figured I was aromantic. This is not to discourage you; we never told her that we didn't feel romantic emotions and were platonically attracted to her.
Maybe send her some sites about aromantics and different things like that. If you still want to date her, tell her that. Just because you're aro doesn't mean that labels for allos can't apply to your relationship as a whole. If you don't know, you don't know; you can explore your identity first as well. Look up what other people who are aro think and how they navigate dating if they choose to do so.
We are big on queerplatonic stuff, but that's because we have our own feelings about the term that you might not.
I hope im not judged too harshly for this because i want to understand it. I don’t really understand at all how QPRs are different from romantic relationships. I think it’s because my idea of romantic relationships is blurry anyway being aro ace. Of course, I don’t judge anyone at all who is in a QPR or wants to be. I just don’t understand it sadly
the only difference really is a QPR is a committed relationship where it is implied that you wont get into another without consent white you are in one with someone already. similar to dating someone. but to us the difference between a friendship and a QPR is love.
now we use love in a very non romantic way, and just the word for "caring very deeply for someone". theyre someone we want to spend the rest of our life with and wouldnt mind being preceved from the outside allo world as dating or "being romantic with". But everyone has their own interpratation of what a QPR is so its hard to have a set definition.
Most of the time, I really don't care what other people do. But sometimes I do get frustrated and exhausted when a great majority of a fandom is shipping THE BIG NONCANON PAIRING with very little thought to their actual friendship and it's rare to find anything else. I go through a character tag and it's just. Filtered ship name. I'm romance-averse and just so tired.
(I do create the stuff I want to see btw)
I am so sorry, i didnt see this ask since we didnt have out computer for the past almost 2 weeks.
We get that, even tho we are a big shipper because of our cupidoromantic identity there are some ships that are very popular that we just roll our eyes at since the friendship is ignored in favour of the romance. while not aro we also feel the same way with poly ships since people often only take the "romantic" side of character A and B and force the friendship (or sibling) label onto B and C. the refusal to look at the relationships of characters that care for each other is mind numbing sometimes so we really get that.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I've known I am aroace for a few years now, probably aego, and I always thought I would like a relationship so we could live together and have a partnership. Recently I started seeing someone ace and they are great, but now I am realising relationships might not be for me. We live and study in different cities so we only meet up once every few weeks. I am busy with schoolwork. It's hard for me to miss people and often I haven't someone I like in months and I don't even realise. They seem much more affectionate in this than I am, and want to meet up more often than I feel the need to. In addition to this, I'm very independent, and I am realising it would be hard for me to learn to adjust myself to another person like this.
This would be easier if we were in the same city so we could have more casual meetings, but as that's not an option, I am being really unsure about this. I don't think I would mind sharing a future with this person, but I have trouble with intimacy (that this person doesn't share, so I feel a little bad when I don't reciprocate) (mostly not me being unable to talk about it, but rather me not feeling the need for it and being unable and unwilling to lie about feeling more than I do) I am considering laying this all down on the table, but I think it would be horrible to do it over text and I have no idea when we'll be able to see each other again. I don't want to hurt them, nor do I want to lead them on and wait for weeks or months until our next meeting to tell all this after they are already much more invested than I am. Especially as I genuinely enjoyed our time together and never gave any signs of being dissatisfied, so they wouldn't be expecting it. They know I am aroace and unsure about our relationship status as of now, but that's about it.
I think you should tell them, this is something that they do need to know so that your relationship, whether it stays the same or not, can continue to be healthy. If you don't want to do it over text but don't want to wait however long it would be maybe a voice call or something like face time would be best.
Letting this stew is likely to make whatever problems are there worse, and its ok for you to have hesitations. I won't lie and say it will all be fine, but telling them that you enjoy your time together should be enough
the affection i hold for my friends and the thoughts i have about them would read as romantic to any alloro watching my life like a bad netflix show, but the fact of the matter is that this is something i feel about every single one of my friends. when i look at them talking to each other, when i see them drawing and singing and playing their instruments, laughing their asses off at the stupid shit we say to each other, every single one of them, i feel like my eyes are cartoon hearts. i want to hold them closely and let them bite me and bite them right back, i want to press my chest to their chests and fall asleep in the most uncomfortable positions possible, wake up with all of our feet tangled together in a locked mess that makes all of us laugh, except for the ones still sleeping.
this is the only love i've ever felt. and it is the greatest love in the world, the most impactful love possible for me. romantic love could never compare. romantic love is meaningless to me, it holds no weight, it's a joke. platonic love has given me everything i lacked when i was forcing myself to emulate romantic love.
Sometimes aromanticism isn't "that thing is romantic and I am aromantic therefore I don't do that" it can be but in my case since I am aromantic, nothing I do will ever be romantic because I don't feel that way. Is kissing on the lips romantic? Not when I do it.
Sorry if this one is too off topic for the blog you can delete it but I couldn't find any blogs like this for aroace things that were still relatively active and this is majority related to my aromaticism
Anyway, I have feelings for my best friend and I have trouble expressing exactly what they are because they are definitely not sexual and not what I would call romantic but it is love.
For context, I'm deeply adverse to mouth kissing. It's something I cannot imagine ever wanting or enjoying. So of course I will get intrusive thoughts of me kissing people. Like I'll be just sitting there talking to someone an suddenly an image of me and them kissing or similar will pop into my head and I have to concentrate really hard not to suddenly retch mid conversation.
For the first time the other night I given a thought of her leaning over to kiss me and like the prospect didn't seem enjoyable but instead of my first thought being "kill it with fire" it was "for her I would let her"
And for a minute I was like is this romance? But then I considered it and I really don't think it is. I would absolutely consider entering a QPR with her but I really don't want to be her girlfriend or wife or anything.
But the reason I'm here and not talking to her is that she is deeply homophobic. If I were to describe anything of this, she wouldn't understand any of the nuance and just think I was Sapphic. I don't know what would happen after that shunning? Outing me so I can get "help"?
IDK but for my safety and hers I will not be finding out.
This is the right blog for this kind of ask, you don't have to worry about that anon.
It's hard to explain to people the nuance of QPR if the other person isnt also aro, but I do think it would be safer to not tell her. You deserve to be safe more then anything.
Please stay safe anon, this blog will always be here if you need to vent about this. We get it, at least a little bit.
i want to cuddle under blankets with someone and be warm and cozy but without the romantic relationship that affection often would be associated with
god same
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I just went on my first ever date w a girl I met a few days ago. From the outside I think it looked great but I didn’t really feel anything romantic… I havnt really had romantic feelings for anyone in a while that were anything more than platonic crushes, im not sure if im aro, maybe im on the spectrum? I’m just kinda confused, I always say I want a gf and want to be in a relationship, the idea is nice but in reality I just feel like a spectator from outside my body, like when it’s actually happening I don’t feel what im supposed to. I don’t know of anyone irl who I can talk to abt this, ig im just looking for advice
It sounds like you might be aro, but it's always a hard thing to know due to the fact you are looking for the lack of something. It also sounds like what you want in a gf is someone to be close with, which our culture really doesn't have any word for other than gf/bf. In queer spaces there's the term Queer Platonic Relationships (QPR for short)
QPRs are different for each person, but we always think of them/describe them as dating someone in a non-romantic way or friend++.
Overall, terms are for you to feel comfortable in, and looking at different aro labels might help you find something you relate to, or it might not. If you think you might be aro, there's nothing wrong with claiming that label.
(ID: two memes using the "it's 2025 i'm done arguing / if you hate X i'm straight up murdering you" meme format. the first says "aromantics" and has a picture of the aro pride flag, and the second says "asexuals" and has a picture of the ace pride flag. end ID)
give it up for year 4 of this meme!!!
