I want to say so much more but

If you're reading this, I just want to talk to you.

I get angry with myself when I think about how much I think about you. I feel like I am a crazy person and maybe I am. But I will be comfortable one day. I will be normal one day. The good life is for all of us. You broke my heart, but you’re happy. That’s a good thing.

I want to be happy for you. I think I’ll get there eventually. 

Every time I try to rebuild, the thought of you destroys me. I am a shadow of myself.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Seriously just fuck you. Fuck this whole fucking city and state. Fuck this year. Fuck my pathetic life. Fuck you. What's the fucking point?

I miss you, but you know that already.

I want to be loved. Pursued. Desired. Appreciated. Held. Safe. Affirmed. Assisted. I want a partner.

I want you to text me. I want a lot. I want a lot of foolish things.

I was happy when my face was on your mind - when my name was written on your smile.

I need companionship, support, and leadership. I am a broken mess.

I want this loneliness to end. I want it to end.

I am so mad at you. I miss you so fucking much in every way. I feel like my whole life is pointless. You're just going to run along next year and leave me as some shitty memory - just like you've treated everyone else.

I would like some time in my life to be happy for once. I hate that I have to look back at you negatively. I wish sr year could have been a positive season. I feel dead though spring is all around me.

I miss you like a pulsing rainstorm. I think of you like a dead star. I would have done so much more.

Did you ever cry over me, amo?

I hate how much I like you. You are beautiful and despondently gone.

I want to just disappear.