Ari Harris Is Fine.

“In CGL LDR ignoring is one of the only punishments.”  -underagelitteshaven

Let me correct you before you continue on in your ignorant fashion informing impressionable Littles and their partners that this is an acceptable punishment. I want to be clear the only reason I’m responding is to prevent the spread of such dangerous notions in this community.

Ignoring is never OK. Period. Point blank. 

Relationships, especially BDSM ones, are built on and around open honest communication-communication being the key word here. Ignoring your partner, especially ones who are prone to being as vulnerable with their partners as Littles/submissives tend to be, should never even be considered an option-no matter the mental health of those involved-as it can foster resentment and reduce communication in the future out of fear of being ignored again. 

Those of us in a D/s relationship willingly consented to it-S(afe)S(ane)C(onsensual). That comes with responsibilities on both sides. The submissive is never to lie or withhold information from their Dom/me that is and should always be a focus of the submissive’s while one of the Dom/me’s should always be how to make their submissive feel safe and secure. 

Going to take it a step back here for a moment. BDSM means Bondage, Discipline/Dom(me), Sadist/submissive, Masochist/Master. The one I’m going to highlight is going to be Discipline. 

Discipline comes from the word disciple, which means to guide, to teach to mentor. Discipline is a process in which the Dom/me uses appropriate strategies to help the submissive develop positive behaviors in an appropriate manner determined between the Dom/me and the submissive prior to entering the D/s relationship.

Now, taking this knowledge we’re going back to apply it to the topic at hand.

In order for the Dom/me to provide adequate discipline it is our responsibility as the submissive to inform them of when we broke the rules, our feelings-the good bad and ugly, as well as anything else that we feel the need to tell them as the beings in charge of our welfare/whatever else we put them in charge of. We asked for this and they in turn provide the guidance we so crave and they love to provide. None of this is possible without full open honest communication. 

You never ignore as a punishment, there is no guidance in that, merely punishment. Any Dom/me worth their salt understands punishments are meant to teach something through guidance. You should never be afraid to approach your Dom/me about anything ever and having ignoring as an acceptable punishment undermines what the entire dynamic can and should be built off of-again full open honest communication. 

I don’t pretend to write the book of consequences for wayward Littles or submissives however some acceptable alternatives for LDR Disciplinary measures include

Taking away Tumblr time

Taking away tv time/Netflix

Taking away sweets or other favorite foods

Taking away video games or favorite apps

Taking away other pleasurable hobbies for awhile

Quiet time in front of your Dominant where you must reflect on your actions-different from ignoring because the Dominant should always have a 100% active hand in all disciplinary measures as they are the ones doling out the consequences

Writing apologies for the behavior that required disciplinary action 

Writing of lines

Extra chores

Earlier bedtime

Practicing of more acceptable behaviors than the one that required disciplinary action

Those are only a few creative and much more acceptable consequences for submissives or Littles acting out. The sky is the limit-or rather what was agreed upon between the two consenting adults within the confines of their relationship.

Quite honestly I am appalled at the ‘advice’ you’re giving out. It is not only not helpful it is dangerous. Your advice and answers go far and you never know who will see it and take it without being fully knowledgeable about how healthy D/s relationships function. Giving out advice in the BDSM or Little community in general is a great responsibility and should be treated as such. 

Maybe the single strongest face performance by Marc Alaimo in all seven seasons of DS9 where after 30 minutes of trying to be sincere about being a Holy Man, he has to dedicate all of his mental processing to figure out how the fuck he can explain this.