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I was uncomfortable a LOT this season. I was constantly worried for Sophie with Benedict chasing her relentlessly (and also not pulling out when he has sex with her, having that wide smile when she says if she ends up with child she’ll have no choice but to accept his mistress offer). I was heartbroken for Violet when Benedict slutshamed her. I was physically angry on behalf of Eloise and how they are making her ready for marriage by wearing her down with loneliness.

In hindsight, season 3 was surprisingly progressive and empowering.

I really like how Penelope chose to highlight the debutantes and their unique characteristics in her LW column. Watching her watch the debutantes’ joy at being mentioned was so cute. In contrast we have season 4’s male lead, a man nearing his 30s atleast, with FOUR sisters of his own, claim all debutantes are the same and the lady in silver is “not like the other girls”.

Colin brings Eloise feminist literature from his travels, and this action matters even more to me considering how nobody in season 4 seems to respect Eloise’s views on women’s rights, the marriage mart and marriage itself.

Benedict’s sub plot was my least favorite but 1 thing I liked was how lady Tilley is not shamed for engaging in society because of her widow status. She is shown dancing in balls and is openly courted by Benedict, a younger man. In contrast, we have the same Benedict slutshaming Violet for pursuing a relationship with Marcus.

I love that Colin calls out toxic masculinity and “locker room talk” when he tells off the lord squad. But I love it EVEN MORE that Colin realizes and does it on his own accord. He doesn’t need to be spoonfed this lesson that men should treat women better. He observes the world around him, actually listens to the women in his life, and all that leads him to be a better person. He doesn’t change himself for his lady or anyone else, he does it for himself. In contrast we have Will, Colin and Sophie herself voice to Benedict how disrespectful it is for a woman to be kept as a mistress. It takes a LOT for him to realize he is selfish in insisting Sophie be his mistress.

I love how they portrayed consent in season 3. I also found it refreshing to see it goes both ways, and Penelope also doesn’t coerce Colin when he does not want to sleep with Penelope while they are arguing.

Women play an important part in the story, and both the leads listen and take advice from the women in their lives (Violet, Genevieve, Eloise, Kate)

Season 3 did not handle feminism with nuance, but I’ll admit it’s really nice to see the female lead have it all, and that she did not have to hide or give up any part of herself in the marriage. And Colin struggling with his self worth because Penelope does not need him to provide for her was quite a realistic topic, even in today’s day & age. I love how Colin embraces his soft & sensitive side and learns to love himself fully at the end. In contrast we have Sophie’s HEA this season by the rich people around her going “we still love classism, and hate poors, let’s just pretend you are rich so you can marry into our class”. I don’t know what message they want to send. I am poor and I take offense lol, I am not ashamed of my class. And Sophie is also cut off from her working class friends and cannot openly continue her friendships with them. She has to live a lie her whole life.

I love that we had not 1 but FOUR examples of green flag men in the form of Colin, Will, Albion Finch, and Harry Dankworth.