according to like every guy, liking black girls the *thing now maybe it's the miley cyrus effect™

I'm losing the ability to tell whether or not someone is a dickhead

I'm so fuck

I'm shallow but I'm being smart I don't want anything to do with men that have small lips and less than perfect bone structure I need my kids to be hot and have great cheekbones so they can take over the world

my friends have turned me into one of those horrible people whose feelings revolve around whether or not i have a man i need to snap out of it because i've done my calculations and the odds of me finding someone in this town who meets all my criteria (it's like a 10 page booklet), thus who i'd be willing to let within 10 feet of me, who will also think i'm cute, who won't mind that i'd actually only really want to see them when i need something, who will also think i'm not a monster, who's still taller than me whenever i'm wearing heels are all smaller than nick cannon's self esteem and that is something i need to come to terms with

the gay guy who kept asking me and my friends to twerk kept making really vulgar sexual gestures at me and I felt very uncomfortable who do I call

my hair is sea green and I look cute today 🐬