ℙℝ𝕆𝕄ℙ𝕋𝕆

​❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

​❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

​❛ i thought you were american . ❜

​❛ is that a weed !? ❜

​❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

​❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

​❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

​❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

​❛ is that a police !? ❜

​❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

​❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

​❛ merry crisis ! ❜

​❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

​❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

​❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

​❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch .  ❜

​❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

​❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

​❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

​❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

​❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

​❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

​❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

​❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

​❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

​❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

​❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

​❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

​❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

​❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

​❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

​❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

​❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

​❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

​❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

​❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

​❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

​❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

​❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

​❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

“I’m so tired… ”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“My hands are shaking.” 

“Don’t get up. I’m comfortable like this.”

“Please stay. I’d like some company.”

“Could I get a hug?”

“Would you pet my hair?”

“Will you sing something for me?”

“I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Can I lay my head in your lap?”

“You can touch my hair but don’t mess it up!”

“Here, lay down in my lap.”

“You know, you’re pretty comfy.”

“Come here, ya big lug/small fry.”

“Just take my hand. It’ll be better, I promise.”

“I’m not letting go.”

“I’ll hold you as long as you need.”

“It’s okay to stay, you know.”

“I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

Requested by Anonymous

“Come on, then! Hit me!”

“Your stance is all wrong.”

“Am I doing this right?”

“I feel like I’ve been chewed up, spat out, and run over repeatedly.”

“Get down and give me 20!”

“How many miles/kilometers are we running?!”

“Hey! Watch where you’re swinging that!” 

“Nice punch! Now do it again!” 

“You won’t hurt me, I promise.” 

“My grip feels off…” 

“Have you ever used a(n) __ before?” 

“I don’t want to hurt you…” 

“I think I’m going to feel that tomorrow.” 

“If you can lift me up, then you can lift these weights just fine.” 

“On a scale of one to ten, how much did that hurt?”

“Here, you put your feet like this…” 

“Relax. I’m trying to help.” 

“Can you teach me how to __?”

“God, we stink.” 

“Are you doing okay?” 

“Are you alright?” 

“If I do fifteen push-ups, can I be done for the day?” 

“Come on! Another round!” 

“You can win this time!”

“Work your angle a little more and you got it perfect!” 

“What are you doing up at this hour?” 

“Where did you get that bruise?” 

                                   SANGUINEPECCATORUM

FIND THE POST YOU WANT TO EDIT

CLICK THE EDIT BUTTON

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT SAYS FIGURE

BYE FELICIA

SAVE THAT MF