4:00 am notes thoughts #1
Learning about patience is truly the virtue. I always felt like worrying about the future was the primary task of everyday life. But boy who was I kidding. Iāve been taking things a day a time. For a long time I felt swallowed by the ideals much of our society builds around us. We have these expectations of whose worthy and who isnāt based on materialistic wealth or profesional achievements. I felt and still feel pretty lost in that cycle and the culture of the āAmerican dreamā. Growing up I had what I needed. I lived in the mountains, waking up to chickens and farm animals roaming free. After being here in the US for almost 15 years, I realized that the most happiest times of my life weāre those days, living with just what I needed and having those I loved healthy and happy. So now I try to be patient with myself as I navigate adulthood. I appreciate those times because deep down I know that ego and money isnāt everything. The growth of social media does not help either. The personas many portray on IG/Twitter/YouTube are far away from everyoneās reality. That constant online image and presence online works for some. Ask yourself though, how did we get here? Specifically the idea that someoneās worth is entirely formed from that online perspective. I studied media and I came to realize how much I did not want to work in the field after starting to understand it and how it feeds itself from the people. This is though without ignoring the impact social media has in the transparency of social causes.
When I say that Iām patient, I mean with myself. Because I want to shift my focus. After so much time, these ideals were rooted and implanted in my head and thoughts. Now moving away from them isnāt going to be an overnight task. Each day I strive with every task to be purposeful. Small steps matter and living authentically I understand is the key that will lead me to whatās meant for me. I do understand that my reality is not everyoneās reality so this might not apply to some but the concept of a capitalist/social media/wealth driven society is toxicity to humanity.
