Emery Emery - Ardent Atheist

All the world‘s a reality show.

The #MeToo movement has been pretty good on the hole.

When the cops turn up at your house, they know they’re taking you in the second they light a cigarette.

Often times, women won’t be frank until they’re well into their 50s. So I propose we change the word to “francine”.

Why is Good Friday traffic so bad?

There is no good phrase to describe when someone finds the perfect feather for the perfect cap.

When we’re not recuperating, we’re cuperating.

Every time I see someone in a baseball cap it’s either a musclehead, a dad, a Trump supporter or lesbian. It’s never a baseball player. Can we change the name of baseball caps now?

Now a casino mogul is accused of sexual misconduct? Who's next, strip club owners?

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! Public service announcements are stupid. THAT IS ALL.

I was watching a movie last night and I was struck by how youthful Matthew Broderick has remained then I realized “War Games“ was made in 1983.

It's depressing how common depression is.

If @realDonaldTrump is so worried about jobs, why is working so hard to put abortion doctors out of business? #FirstTermAbortion