Latest bug scare ongoing
All right.
Every year or so you see a cockroach, or you think you've seen a cockroach, or you find a real material undeniable dead cockroach that stays real until you get rid of it. It makes you launch into this completely disproportionate emotional reaction, where the main motor components are roughly
1. a cockroach infestation is what will make your entire life spiral downwards with no chance to recover, it is a problem you will never be able to fix or reduce or adapt to and it will make you lose any motivation to attempt improving the rest of your situation in any way, the areas of your life you are too disgusted to touch will spread and things will just get worse and worse and worse.
2. a cockroach infestation will be your fault for being disgusting ; other people have cockroach infestations because there are cockroaches spreading through their building, but in your case the cockroaches probably smelled from the street how full of trash your place is, or they arrived to your doorstep with a map where you are indicated as a gross thing that should not be allowed to live without supervision.
All right. What seems clear is that you are not thinking of something that is happening right now. And maybe nothing will happen or not for a long time. Knowing this doesn't feel like it helps that much right now, but at least you are now aware that it is safe to distract yourself from this, and maybe when you have done that for a while and have calmed down you can try thinking about it again.
