Tying Laces

There is nothing I won't do for you. I won't let anyone come between us. I don't care what I have to do. I don't care who I have to hurt. I don't care whose blood I have to spill. I won't let anyone take you from me. Nothing else matters. No one else matters. You. Will. Be. Mine.

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“Heed my advice: Don’t reveal what you feel at any time.”

「 ☆ 」   Hazu wishes that he could say that’s bad advice… and it probably is, but it’s also something that he’s been attempting to use since as long as he can remember. Maybe it comes with the territory of experiencing negative feelings over and over and over in rapid succession. Fear and anxiety and pain and doubt— all sorts of terrors, both internal and external, weaved into the fabric of who he is. No matter how hard he tries to sink into the background or pretend to be anything different. Not that it’s ALL bad. Unfortunately, the good tends to arise more easily when he’s alone. No longer at the mercy of the infestation of people that makes up humanity.

Not that HE’D ever consider people an infestation… but his ingrained instincts beg to differ.

It would be nice if, for once, Hazu could be spared the humiliation of wearing his heart on his sleeve as blatantly as the clip he wears in his hair.  ❝  … Would you believe me if I said that’s what I’m trying to do?  ❞  Hazu awkwardly replies, unsure whether he’s trying to make a joke to lighten the pathetic statement. Rubbing his arm, gaze is focused on the ground, taking note of the way light reflects off the smooth surface.  ❝  Whenever I try to disguise what I’m feeling, people always see through me. Which, I- I guess makes sense… Because I’m, y’know… not very good at it.  ❞  Already fumbling over his words, hands move to grip the end of his sweater, pale-knuckled hold yet another tell-tale sign of shame. 

❝  I just- I get so… so nervous. Or- or scared… or…. sometimes I’m so- … I just- I feel things so intensely. Sometimes, it’s like I’m drowning. And- and when I drown, I flail and I can’t stop and… and I don’t want people to know but they DO and that makes me feel even more awkward and I- … I…. I’m sorry.  ❞  He doesn’t know why he’s saying all this. It’s not like it’s any of Kaito’s burden to bear. Wiping at his eyes, he internally curses at the stinging he feels blurring his vision,  ❝  It’s- It’s not a big deal… It’s- …. It’s not all bad, honestly.  ❞  

"Would I beleive you? Sadly, yes." Kaito chuckles, "You look like a constipated lamb everytime I see you."

Kaito knows the advice wouldn't be considered helpful by most people, but with the way the school year's been going? Well, he's not sure showing emotion so blantantly as the cute kid from 1-2 does would be beneficial.

"You're alright," Kaito reaches forward, ruffling the other's hair, careful not to distrub the hair clip. His hand remains on the other's head, as he thinks for a moment, a small hum escaping him.