when mental illness affects your studies
all of us mentally ill students finally reach a point where we think itās so, so hard that we are unable to keep going, keep studying, keep living like this.Ā I have reached that point again recently, but this time reached out for help, and am now trying to learn how to function at school now that Iāve come to terms with my illness. so, I thought I could share some advice based on my own experience.
to you who are now struggling, please donāt give up. do just that. you can overcome this and that is a fact.
for the love of God, tell your teachers.
sadly, deadlines donāt really care if youāre currently at your lowest point or just happen to be āin shapeā for completing assignments ā you have to hand them in on This Day, period. But sometimes you feel so bad that you are either completely unable to finish that one essay or end up forcing yourself to write it and do it while gritting your teeth and crying like I did with my History essay earlier this year. when receiving feedback from my teacher (negative, of course, because the essay was utter shite), I wanted to answer her question why it was SO bad with āI am just very, very sickā and āPlease donāt think Iām not ambitious or hardworking anymore, I was doing my very best to deliver this and Iām sorry itās badāā¦ but I didnāt. I was too afraid that she would think I was lying and too lazy to write a good essay, and that she wouldnāt understand. A few months later, my headteacher and I had a conversation during which she asked me if she should tell my teachers about what Iām going through, and never before in my life have I felt as relieved as in that moment when I was saying āYes, pleaseā.
not having to worry about what your teachers are going to think about the actions caused by your illness can be life-saving. If you think they wonāt understand your struggle, youāre probably wrong ā you are not the first and only student suffering from depression, anxiety or other mental illness; they have met many like you in the past and know exactly how to act to take some weight off your shoulders, and trust me, they will do everything they can to make it easier for you.
if you think there is no way out of your situation, stop for a minute, talk to someone, and change whatever you can, even if thereās only a tiny, tiny chance it will make you feel better and take some weight off your shoulders.
i thought I was stuck with Computer Science on Higher Level ā although I try my hardest to understand what itās about, I get grades below average and am really disappointed in myself. It became one of my biggest struggles, and Iām not even planning to become a programmistā¦ It has been making my depression worse for a whole year, but I didnāt do anything to change it, just kept wishing I had picked Biology last year. I mentioned it during a conversation with a trusted teacher and she thought of a solution, asking me if I wanted to change my Language A level to Higher and then take up Biology on SL. And I was like ?? Life-changing?? Of course, I will have to study hard during the summer holidays to catch up with a year worth of material, but Iām more than willing to do that if it means not having to hear about Computer Science ever again. and once again, so much weight off my shoulders. Why I havenāt even thought of making that change before is a topic for another discussion, but my point here is, go make that change if you can. If there is another door, open it. Although itās scary, itās definitely worth it.
donāt suit your goals, make your goals suit you
one thing really hard to accept is that an accomplishment for you, a mentally ill student, might be different than an accomplishment for a healthy student. For you, passing this class alone may be a goal, not necessarily with the highest marks, while others strive for straight Aās. You have to understand that, in order not to add more to your worries, you need to have a realistic approach. For me, it was the hardest part, because Iām usually really ambitious and have a tendency to set the bar too high or compare myself to others. But what I needed to realise was that others are not ill, and I am, and if an achievement for me is something that they do effortlessly, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I am the sick me and they are the healthy them, and that is fine.
therapy, carried out well, can save your life, and Iām sure you already know that (because everyone keeps repeating that, literally everywhere, and itās becoming highly annoying). I hadnāt realised that, though, until I experienced it myself. I have been suffering for almost two years before I finally scared myself so much that I needed to find a therapist as soon as possible, as I realised I was slowly becoming dangerous to myself and therefore people close to me. I was lucky enough to find a good specialist right away, who quickly diagnosed me, sent to a psychiatrist that prescribed me medicine, and continued therapy with me. But before I found this one, I had been to three others who did not understand me at all. I stopped searching, which was a mistake ā please learn from my experience and donāt do that! If you can feel that the therapist you found isnāt right for you, look for someone else. Just donāt give up, because therapy really is important. You need to know that you can get out of this, and you need someone who will guide you and help you overcome whatever youāre going through.
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