Douxie Bites

*hits the joint* In the Harry Potter universe, Merlin is canonically a Hogwarts alumni and a Slytherin, which is impossible because Merlin predates the existence of Hogwarts by centuries. Of course, JK Rowling didn’t know that because she is a dumb bitch. I’m sorry. Misogynistic phrasing. She is a willfully ignorant and hateful, deeply unlikable and ill-informed, untalented and unspeakably cruel…..person. Seriously, how could you write a series about British wizards without truly understanding THE British wizard. Anyway, Merlin would never be able to attend any sort of organized schooling. He’s definitely self-taught in every universe because he’s the most powerful wizard ever AND he’d have been expelled from any institution before he stepped through the door. The only reason they haven’t escorted him away from Camelot is because he can see the future and he is kind of like the king’s dad. I was so disappointed by BBC Merlin. I turned it on and I was like “What the fuck is this shit, where is my perverted old man?”

Wait he is a wizard? In the translation into my language of BBC's Merlin they called him a sorcerer.

the urge to write a feverish follow-up to the stitches fic fully from moppet douxie's pov where he's being rescued but he doesn't know what's going on and he's in so much pain and his face is on fire and no one's listening to his cries or giving him a way to talk calls to me like the green goblin mask

the green goblin voice is getting louder and more specific

the urge to write a feverish follow-up to the stitches fic fully from moppet douxie's pov where he's being rescued but he doesn't know what's going on and he's in so much pain and his face is on fire and no one's listening to his cries or giving him a way to talk calls to me like the green goblin mask

you can tell a character is loved when their fans constantly wish immense physical and psychological harm on them

Hey you, yeah, you, give that character a mobility aid. Do it. That girl who canonically has a leg injury? Give her a cane. That guy that doesn't have a canonical injury but whom you feel ok your heart is definitely chronically ill? Give him a wheelchair. That character you headcanon as disabled because they just kinda feel like it in your head? Give them crutches! That character you really really like and really really relate too? Give em a rollator! Sky's the limit! Go wild! People are gonna have problems with us creating a space for ourselves regardless, might as well bring a few of our favorite characters and OCs with us!

...yk I wonder if after the stitches fic douxie would Ever get lip piercings as a way to Prove what happened doesn't affect him anymore (it does. it very much does.) or if it's just an absolute Off The Table even when he gets more into alt scenes where people have alot of face piercings and only archie (and maybe zoe) know the reason why

hisirdoux "but maybe ☝️if i engage in an activity that is highly likely to trigger me over past trauma and i end up Fine it'll prove that im Over It" casperan and zoe "you fucking dipshit i was THERE when you had to spend weeks recovering after your rescue and couldn't mend your clothes without throwing up you're not gonna BE "over it" and if you even think about it im hexing the door to every piercing parlor in town to lock you out" ashildr

Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack it