arboreta

Her life has become his.

There it is. Definitive.

Scully grows up as the series goes by. In s1 you get the sense that she’s crushing on Mulder pretty hard. She ogles him — she watches him as he throws his jacket over his shoulder, and it’s literally filmed in slow motion so we can see how shook she is. She’s a little bit in awe of him. She’s incredibly quick to protect him, ends a date to go monster hunting with him, shows a little jealously when his ex shows up (tame jealously, though!!! mostly worried about what the dumbass is getting himself into). This is all done with almost the air of a first love teenage infatuation. I don’t think for a minute she’s actually entertaining the thought of anything unprofessional. But Mulder thrills her, challenges her; he’s brilliant and dark and charming. And she’s attracted to him, very much so. He sweeps her off her feet, kind of.

The X-Files are taken away. They both cling. I think the absence feeds her feelings, and his, actually. Watching them run around in The Host is adorable. Again. It’s like a school yard crush. It’s small, but it feels big. They hold hands and break rules.

When she gets abducted, Scully is a darker character. Mulder is a given. But Scully’s pain becomes much more central to the show — and she starts to push away Mulder because she feels weak. I almost feel like she gets more science-y here. I think Mulder tries to pull himself closer to her.

But when Melissa is shot, shit gets weird. I think this is when Scully really begins to understand what this quest is going to cost her. She’s embarrassed and guilty that she ever thought this would just be a fun, sexy challenge for her. I do think she has herself convinced that her and Mulder are totally platonic, and that her crush is dead.

S3 is Mulder and Scully being forced to recognize the worst of each other. They both hold each other at gunpoint. Mulder sees Scully at her most irrational, Scully watches Mulder get rejected. Mulder is given insight into Scully’s worst fear — and she fucking fears him, and the possibility of betrayal. Scully is fighting death by humiliation at the end of Wetwired. Mulder goes crazy like what? Four separate times? They both push each other away. They both hate each other. But they’re fucking falling in love every brutal inch of the way. I think that they both know they’re too tangled up in each other, but they don’t see that as romantic.

S4 through the end are a little easier to explain. I feel like everyone agrees that Mulder figures out in s4 that he’s hopelessly in love with Scully. I think Scully opens herself up to the possibility. Mulder pushes her away, pulls her back, pushes her away again, and doesn’t go for it until he’s given several glaring signs that she loves him (Padgett, reading her mind, the conversation in his apartment following Diana’s death). Scully realizes she’s too into him when she sees him holding hands with Diana. She slowly tries to work toward something with him, and that she’s aware they’re heading somewhere — holding his hand and rehashing their hallway conversation in The Beginning, The Rain King convo with Sheila in the bathroom. She is close to giving that up after One Son. I truly don’t think she trusts Mulder to love her until all things.

Look, I’m not making this up!  No one’s suggesting that you are, Mr. Pintero.  I saw the look on her face.

Scully is extremely photogenic, especially when she’s distraught. Gillian Anderson DM me, please.