Little Mac: Holds you and whispers sweet nothings. He’s upset that what little time he has to spend with you is like this but is determined to make you happy again and make the most of it. Will probably play video games with you or go out and get some very unhealthy take out to enjoy with you.
Glass Joe: The poor cutie is so?? Worried?? His thoughts are racing a mile a minute; was it his fault?? Was it something else?? What’s wrong???? He’s incredibly relieved that he didn’t do anything (how could he think such a thing?) but just sorta holds you because he doesn’t trust himself to say the right things. Will 100% cry when you do.
Von Kaiser: The man’s not the best with emotions so proabably goes to anger first. Who did this? Was it the kids? Who ever it was, he will fight for his love!! (He won’t but he likes to make you feel protected) He’s a bit awkward with everything, but he tries his best.
Disco Kid: First, he puts on some BOPS and dances. He gets you to dance with him and it slowly puts a smile on your face. He’ll then get serious and tries to get you to talk to him. You don’t want to? That’s fine! He’ll continue to dance until all your problems are gone. You’ll laugh together and cuddle, sweaty and exhausted.
King Hippo: Do I need to say anything? FOOD. He sits you on his lap like a little baby and feeds you until you’re full and sleepy. You’ll most likely fall asleep, but he’s fine with that. Likes to wipe away your tears with his massive fingers.
Piston Honda: Isn’t the best with affection, it flusters him. Will hold you, however, and whisper encouraging Japanese phrases. When you’re a bit more stable, will try his best to explain things rationally and make sure you don’t get so upset next time.
Bear Hugger: The man lives up to his name! Whilst a little suffocating, his hugs are warm and soft! Just won’t stop holding you. You’ll probably fall asleep against his radiator of a body, but he doesn’t care, because you just look so darn cute!!
Great Tiger: Uses his clones to make you laugh or worship you (whichever you prefer.) He’ll lay with you and his cat and just talk about whatever. You get so invested that you don’t even know what you were upset about. Will make you feel like a deity, if you know what I mean. (Obviously if you’re up for it.)
Don Flamenco: Oh MAN. The dude’s obviously a hopeless romantic, and will do ANYTHING to make you smile again, because ‘your smile is the light of my life, mi amor!’ (What a dork.) Gets your favourite food, which he keeps at all times, and cuddles with you as you watch or talk about whatever. Kisses you so passionately.
Aran Ryan: The man goes straight to anger. He will, and has, attacked someone for making you upset. You’ll have to drag him away from the unsuspecting victim as he’s shouting curses at them. If he sees that he’s just made you more upset, he’ll apologise awkwardly. He just doesn’t want people to hurt what’s his! Will probably try to fuck afterwards.
Soda Popinski: ‘What wrong??’ Will either try to make you laugh until you’re fine or watch your favourite movie with you until you feel better. Likes to whisper things in Russian whilst you’re lying together. You have no idea what he’s saying, but it’s comforting all the same.
Bald Bull: Isn’t actually as quick to anger as people make him out to be. He’s sweet, and only kept the ‘constantly furious’ attitude because it became ‘his thing’. Likes to cook you food and will have you try things as a way to settle down. If that isn’t enough, he’ll just stand and hold you. (As long as the paparazzi don’t come along!)
Super Macho Man: The dude’s basically a sugar daddy, and will instantly splurge money on anything you need. Food? Got it. Stuffed animals? Done. Any games you wanted? Of course! If you say you don’t want him to spend so much, he’ll be a bit confused but elect to tell you everything that you deserve. It’s surprisingly sweet.
Mr Sandman: Straightfoward and will just ask what’s wrong. He won’t stop until he knows. He apologises for being so pushy but he needed to know to be able to help. Does what he can for you. Will 100% lift you off your feet to carry you to somewhere comfortable to calm down.
